amand_r

It's no secret that I'm a total unfaithful music whore. I never buy albums anymore. I find things on youtube and pandora and then I buy them. Sometiems, like with K'naan, I do become a fan of all their stuff. But until I hear more of their shit, I stay to the few songs I have.

( Here's what's on replay on my iPod. )

For those of you who don't know, kidlet has been struggling with some illness or another since the beginning of September, and Friday we had our third doctor's appointment when they finally decided to do a chest x-ray. In the meantime she was started on some prednizone for her crackling chest, and we are continuing to try to use the inhaler.

Saturday morning the doctor called to say that the chest x-ray revealed pneumonia, so she has also been started on a z-pak. So.

I haven't really been on my best game, and I'm sorry. Nano has fallen by the way side. I was up every two hours last night to check on her respiration, and TBH, it wasn't because I set an alarm, but that I just keep waking every 2 hours, have been for the last few weeks.

I'm slightly worried because my insurance, it sucks, so we had to go to an urgent care and they just sent me a bill for 155 bucks, etc, and since her doctor visits aren't preventative care, I have to pay like 100 bucks per visit, not to mention whatever they're going to charge me for the breathing treatments. The bill for her inhaler and last antibiotic (which apparently didn't work) in October was about 80 bucks.

That said, I have the money. I just don't like to dip into it.

I was driving home from the doctor's, worrying because they said that if this doesn't clear up, or if it comes back next year we'll have to have the asthma talk, and I was thinking about what THAT would cost, etc etc, and I realised that this? This is nothing. I have the money to pay. It won't be nice, but I can pay it and it won't be on credit. This is not the end of the world. She has pneumonia, not leukemia or something else. We have a roof over our heads. My job is raising my daughter, and I get paid for it. I have been writing, and my first story is coming out next Monday (non-profit, no biggie, but nice). These bad things will pass, and they're not really a big deal. It's not cholera. It's not a hurricane.

I love my girl. And I am thankful every day that we have each other, and everything will be all right.

I'll be back on track later. ( For now, experiments in linzer fail and fragolo update. )

1. What really happens to a McDonald's Burger when you leave it out proves that time lapse cats are funneh. (h/t emquilxy)

2. And on that note: IT'S THE MOST, WONDERFUL TIIIIIIIIIIIME OF THE YEAR.

3. PHOTODUMP: ( Gluten-free black & whites, Snow White and CHILDREN OF THE CORN. )

4. Have become a na-no-wri-mo-ho. Code name: Amand-r.

I knew there was a reason i had a sprog.

I have her a feather duster 10 minutes ago, and she's been dusting ALL THE THINGS.

1. GAH.

ME: Blah blah blah.
THERAPIST: Blah blah BLAH blah. ::eyebrows::
ME: Blah Blah. ::wavey hands::
THERAPIST: AH HAH. THERE IT IS!
ME: Whut?
THERAPIST: There's your problem! Your issue!
ME: ::smacks head:: GODDAMMIT.
THERAPIST: Ha ha ha! Found it! NOW YOUR REAL THERAPY CAN BEGIN.
ME: SHITBEARS!
THERAPIST: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE IT.
ME: SHUT UP, RAFIKI.
THERAPIST: Same time next week?
ME: Yes please.


2. MBABB IS AT 137,350. That sounds impressive until you realise that on 6/27 I had 125,242, so this month I have only done 12,108 on it. SHITBEARS.

3. I'm going to start taking my prozac at night and see if that doesn't cure my exhaustion during the day.

4. Because I can't leave well enough alone, the current ep I'm working on:

They both jumped into the SUV and Maggie started the car, turning the heater on full blast. It hadn't been off long enough to have completely cooled down and the warmth spread across Lois's hose-covered legs. Bliss.

"Lo," Maggie said, tucking the tickets into the sun visor, "please tell me you packed denims or some other heavy work trousers."

Lois shrugged. "I have slacks and a pair of coveralls."

Maggie sighed. "Okay, we have a little bit of time, and the Quay is open." She pointed to the hulking shopping arena that boasted hundreds of outlet stores. "Lois Habiba, you need to dress for a mess."

"Dress for a mess," Lois deadpanned as she pulled her shit coffee from the cup-holder and took a sip. Absence did not make the tongue grow fonder. Maggie started the SUV and pulled out of the Wightlink lot.

"I bet they have a Starbucks," Maggie sang.

Lois gestured at the windshield with the cup. "Sally forth, my good woman."

That is all.

ETA: IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.

FIRST:

1. It is the middle of the night, and you wake from a dead sleep because you have to pee. You shuffle to the bathroom and don't even bother turning on the light because you know the way. While there you realise that you have to use feminine protection. You also notice that you run out of loo roll. You unwrap the loo roll and pull the old roll from the spool, and then sit there, half awake, holding the spool in one hand and the new roll in the other.

The spool is, I repeat, the spool is NOT the feminine protection that you have yet to retrieve. No, I stopped myself before it got that far, but I did wonder why it was so big around whilst I held it.

There's a moral (sp—is that spelled right? Moral? Morel? No that's a mushroom. Moral reminds me of sorrel, which always make me think of High Chapparal. Chapparal? Chaparale? Fuck. I'll quit before I start questioning the spelling of "the" and "chair") here, but I don't know who it is.

2. Watching season one of the Tudors again. Why does everyone give each other brooches? From now on, everyone's getting brooches from me.

Side note: OH HAI THAR, EXTREME HOTTNESS THAT IS JOHN RHYS-MYERS' ABS. HOLY FUCK.

3. In cleaning my house, I am stunned by the sheer amount of junk I have, in the form of bits and baubles and things that I cannot simply throw in a box and label. I have baskets and small boxes of little things that I simply don't know what to do with—things I no longer want and haven't needed in the past three years, not enough to unpack them from the basement boxes in which a great deal of them reside. I find myself pitching large quantities of crap. I want to be as light as possible.

Likewise, wow, half-price books, you are awesome.

Additionally, in going through my shelves and boxes of books in the basement, I am slowly filling a box of books marked, simply, "unread". So this year, I shall endeavor to empty that box. It's filled with contemporary novels, non fiction, and a bunch of classic lit I never got to. Like some Dickens and Orczy and even one or two poets whose volumes I purchased and never finished. I would promise not to buy any more books until I finish these, but that is foolhardy and something to which I can never hold myself. So I shan't lie that way. But it's a goal—read more. Read well. Read smartly.

That said, I read the latest Hamilton Merry Gentry book, Divine Misdemeanours. ( Hey, it's in my ereader. OMG SPOILERS )

4. OH HAI. RPF/RPS CARNIVALE THIS WEEKEND. RIGHT THE FUCK IN THIS LJ. cruentum IS SO EXCITED HE'S ABOUT TO VIBRATE THROUGH THE INTERNETS. THEN HE WILL BE THE GHOST IN THE SHELL, AND HE'LL HAUNT YOUR ISP AND WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING YOUR THESIS, HE'LL REPLACE ALL THE IMAGES AND PIE CHARTS IN THE DOCUMENT WITH PICTURES OF JB'S ASS. YOU MIGHT BE AMUSED. YOUR THESIS ADVISOR AT THE ENTOMOLOGY DEPARTMENT PROBABLY WON'T BE. I think I already addressed this above, but whatevs.

Don't let that happen to you. Write for the Torchwood/Doctor Who RPF Carnivale.

5. So we have a little bit of snow in Pittsburgh this past month. So some mutherfuckers decide it's a great time to do some URBAN SKIING. My favorite is probably the Joe Montana bridge at about 4:00 to the end, and if you watch the credits you not only see some awesome FAIL, but you hear them make fun of Yinzertalk, which is always fun. (h/t emquilxy)

6. I'm in season two of the Sopranos again. How did I miss this gem? TONY: (frustrated and with finality) Cunnilingus and psychiatry have brought us to this.

Yes. Tony. Yes.

7. My TW season 4 file is corrupted or something, and it was my back up copy. I checked the original and it has no changes since last month. It's like Jesus doesn't want me to write TW anymore. Okay, Jesus.

1. My Santa idea is fucking BRILLIANT.

2. ( Anyway, I want to talk about what a douche I am in the matter of talking about fic ideas. )

That said, anyone is free to talk to me about their fic any damn time they want. Any damn time.

3. TOO. MANY. DEADLINES. But still. Good, yeah? A THOUSAND YEARS.

4. That said, the Jaws/Torchwood needs a beta. I will be sending it in chunks (sets of completed chronological scenes) as I finish them. Spag and plot holes. Halp?

5. I want to sell short stories. How do I do this? LOL I kid. No I don’t. For srs, I would research before I asked you dudes. You are busy, and my fingers aren't painted on.

6. I should buy my kid crimmas presents. But I don't know what to get her. Everyone already bought her all the cool stuff.

7. I made cards this year, and you may have already gotten/will be getting one. I made 6 designs total: 5 Torchwood and one custom job. ( So here they all are, so you can see what everyone else got. )

There we go.

So, yet another story finished. I keep this up, I'll be finished with all my obligations by…next Sunday. BRILLIANT! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

( Let's do the countdown, shall we? )

I feel I have accomplished a lot today and I haven't even slept yet. Sleep gives you cancer, man, everybody knows that.

1. You know what I wish? I wish you all would trust me. Trust me in fic to take you there. I'll get you there. Honest. Blue, Jean (heh, together you're "bluejean" who is also Bluejean07), tell them that I took you to poly town, and it was good. Srsly, people, I can't EXPLAIN myself. I can only SHOW you. Have I let you down yet? No? Shut up and let me finger bang you into happiness.

2. Tomorrow I plan out the rest of my UK trip. I will post the itinerary when it's settled and if you are in the area that I am in at any given time I would love to see you (whoever you are).

3. Had another moment in which I realised that I want to be in love again. I just don't know whom that would be with. I don't think I can. I think he's dead. I want to be in love with that one again.

4. Jesus, when is this going to be over?

5. Thought about buying myself a cemetery plot. Realised I might not even be in this city when I die, so it's impractical. OTOH, I might just get myself one for my birthday next year and pretend that it's mine.

6. memeage:

verasteine ( gave me porn, post-its, writing, John Barrowman, Tori Amos. )

( My take on Yami no Matsuei, Jack, John Hart, Gwen, Adam, and Lois Habiba. )