amand_r

me: (sings the waffle song)
her: I like waffles
me: Yeah?
her: I like all kinds of foods!
me: Do you like worms?
her: Ewwwwww.
me: I bet you’d eat worms.
her: No.
me: I bet you’d eat gummi worms.
her: We should get some.
me: I dunno. They’re bad for your teeth. Then they’d fall out, and when I took you to the dentist he’d say, "where are all her teeth?" and I’d say, "I am sorry. There were gummi worms." and he’d say, "why did you let her eat those?" and I’d say, "obviously, you have never been a parent."
her: I’m coloring.


me: (sings the waffle song)
her: I said I like waffles.
me: Sorry, I have a song stuck in my head and I can’t get it out.
her: I’ll get it out for you.
me: Yeah? How would you do that?
her: I’ll get a knife.

ME: Okay, count the pairs.
HER: Eight.
ME: And how many do I have?
HER: Eight.
ME: What do we call it when both of us have the same number of pairs?
HER: A bowtie.
ME: Close enough.

I HEAR WHAT YOU SAY, AND ALTHOUGH THE WORDS ARE THERE, I THINK THAT I WILL ONLY TRULY UNDERSTAND YOU WHEN I HEAR YOU SCREAM THOSE WORDS. AND YOU WILL SCREAM. YOU WILL SCREAM.

It has a shallow drop, but how lovely.

also: GOTTS SUCK A ***** IN THE PARTY ZONE:

**IN THE FRENCH: "IN SEARCH OF LOST GLUTEN-FREE BAKED GOODS"

Okay, so I'm supposed to be doing Nano, and I SWEAR I WILL MAKE IT UP (aka Famous Last Words, copywrite the universe and MCR) but failing that, I do have evidence what I have been doing the last two days (four days, whatever).

( I am virtually incapable of even typing a journal report. For srs. )

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

1.



2. CANT. STOP. LAUGHING.

3. BUTT.

4. WRITING RCBW STOP SUCKING ASS STOP NOT YOUR ASS STOP YOUR MOM'S STOP HA HA I JUST MADE A YOUR MOM JOKE IN A TELEGRAM STOP EXCEPT THIS ISN'T A TELEGRAM SEMICOLON IT'S A POST ON THE INTERNET STOP I GUESS THESE SHOULD BE CLOSE TAGS OR SOMETHING STOP IS THAT TOO META QUESTION MARK STOP I DUNNO I'M JUST SAYING I HAVE BEEN WATCHING A LOT OF FAMILY GUY STOP WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT QUESTION MARK STOP OH YEAH I'M WRITING AND IT'S NOT GOING WELL STOP MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH TRYING TO WRITE ANGST WHILST HAVING A HEAD FULL OF AN INFANT SAYING 'WHAT THE DEUCE' QUESTION MARK STOP AND AN ALCOHOLIC DOG WHO SINGS SHOWTUNES STOP.

5. I have one sentence of wholas. One. It's four lines long. Wharton, you say? You will recognise my story this week because it will be the only one that, whilst you read it, in your head it's narrated by Joanne Woodward.

"MOMMY DON'T GO TO THE BEER FESTIVAL WAH."

I wanna write this up, but I have so much to do that I really cannot spare the time, so here's a half-assed entry.

( THE BIG POUR NUMBER 4 )

By: Amanda
Grade 4

I knew there was a reason i had a sprog.

I have her a feather duster 10 minutes ago, and she's been dusting ALL THE THINGS.