amand_r: (guy gardner/thumbs up!)
1. The computer died. I am writing to you from the new one, Toshiko Toshiba, Mistress of the Dark Computer Arts.

a. This means that everything is actually trapped on my old hard drive, including the stories i owe three of you. I have to get ahold of a serial hard drive case, and when I do, I can access the giant vag in the center of the earth files again. I might just have to start those stories over in the meantime.


2. I need german food recipes! I am having the buds over for dinner, and i want to make spaetzle! I cannot get good brats here, sadface. But I was thinking I might try the strip district for some rabbit! Anyone have anything German to recommend?

3. As announced on twitter, I shall be writing a YA novel that is a steampunk vampire rip-off of The Color Purple called, "The Color Vortex" or possibly "The Vortex purple." It might also involve a Danny Glover robot that says "I'm too old for this shit."

Really, most of this stupid shit is on my twitter. If you ever feel the nee to talk to me during the day about lame shit, I'm cerebralcutlass.

4. ALSO--even though I am behind on the stories, I am still sending out the cookies soon! SO! IF YOU WOULD LIKE SOME GINGERNSNAPS OR GARAM MASALA CHOCOLATE GINGERBREAD, AND A LITTLE FICLET, PLEASE SEE HERE: Amand-r's Frabjous Writing Promo. The ficlets are supposed to be 500 words, but as you can see from the first one, I kind of discard that sometimes. BUT 500 WORD MINIMUM!

The first story was for [livejournal.com profile] lilian_cho, and was called Registry, inspired by her starter sentence of, "It's not like there's a Chinese gay kama sutra."

5. Soon I shall watch the second half of Torchwood Miracle Day. And then, even thought I have been discouraged with fandom lately, I shall open the las.

6. Highlander peeps, I have not forgot you! Not having the templates on hand makes life slightly more pissy, but I know how to cut and paste, so I'll steal them soon. Sign ups start tomorrow, I think!
amand_r: (tw/jack licks eleven)
[livejournal.com profile] touchyerwood HAS BEEN UPDATED! SPREAD THE WORD! GO! READ! LINK! REQUEST!

Next, does anyone know hoe to get in touch with waldo? I emailed a few weeks ago. How long should I wait before I just plow ahead? Two weeks? I think we should wait for MD to end in the US, which is next Friday. So, plenty of time. Then I guess I have to make a comm. Will everyone pimp for me?

Also, Highlander people, waiting for word from [livejournal.com profile] tryfanstone re: shortcuts this year. If she wants to do it, she can, but I am more than happy to take it on this year! Or. We could let yuletide have it. SADFACE.
amand_r: (HL/Seekret SantARRRRRGH)
Title: Fractal
Fandom: Star Wars: New Jedi Order Era
Characters: Valin Horn, Anakin Solo, Sannah, Kam Solusar, Zonoma Sekot
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,878
Author's Notes: written for [livejournal.com profile] djcati in the 2010 Yuletide challenge
Summary: Valin doesn't understand who moves him in a universe that is supposed to stay still.

AND

Title: Attention, Shoppers
Fandom: Highlander
Characters: Methos, Duncan, Amanda, Joe, OCs
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 10,765
Author's Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] calime_33 in the [livejournal.com profile] hlh_shortcuts Holiday exchange 2010.
Summary: Rollback in aisle three: gemstones, cheap liquor and pickaxes.
amand_r: (Default)
Title: A Series of Disappointments (or 5 times + Jack + Other Immortals)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] amand_r
Fandom:Torchwood/Highlander
Characters: (in order of appearance) Jack, Amanda, Duncan, Fitz, [k'immie], Richie, Methos, Ianto.
Rating: PG-13 for language and shit
Author's Notes: You know I can't keep the peanut butter out of the chocolate. Or something. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] lastrega for the beta magic.
Summary: They're like him, but not like him. They know less than he does, and they cannot teach him anything new.

Apparently, the other immortals could sense each other. )
amand_r: (my one highlander icon)
I need someone to beta something Highlander/Torchwood. Just a spag, and if you find a timeline error in the HL side, let me know. I think it's 10 pages. I have about...500 words left to add.
amand_r: (vanilla ice/check out the HOOK!)
Post a sentence (or paragraph) or two from as many of your WIPs as you want, with no explanation attached.


  • "If I took a holiday anywhere in the world," Tosh mused, staring off into space. "I'd go to Amsterdam. Get caned." When they all stared at her, somewhat in shock, she shrugged, and it looked a great deal like Owen. "What? It's legal there."


  • "Methos is dead," Richie told him later in a blissed-out state. Jack had to admit that he hadn't intended on getting the man so drunk, but there had been a bottle of Patu and Richie had smelled like road and leather and Jesus, cock, and he just had to lay on the charm. Richie had taken him in hand, too, all protests about being straight aside. Immortality was too long not to try to stick your cock into everything you could, not that Jack had ever needed that excuse.


  • 'Mmm.' Jack pulls off Ianto's shirt and hooks his fingers in the waistband of Ianto's jeans, glancing down when he realises that the button is gone and Ianto has safety pinned them together.

    Ianto blushes. 'Look, they're my scrotty jeans—'

    'No no,' Jack tells him, pushing him down on the sofa and crawling up his legs so that his face is level with Ianto's hardening denim covered cock. 'No, that makes it.' He winks. 'You know what I like.'


  • It's late and he's tired as fuck, mostly because that group of alien smugglers had made him run from one place to another, fetching bits and bobs or they'd blow Tosh's brains out. He likes Tosh's brains where they are, so he and Gwen and Ianto had been playing with GPS all day, trying to track down "a bucket of chyme" and "three burnt fishsticks" while Owen had traced Tosh's mobile and shot all three of the aliens in the head.


  • Dierdre groaned as she pushed the trolley, trying not to hit Lois in the arse as they made their way though the ASDA. "I don't see why we have to do this. Don't we have a requisition team?"

    Lois waved the list written on a scrap of hotel stationary paper. "You are looking at it."


  • Naota is twenty-five when Sawajima Mamimi comes back to him, a paper crane, a balloon released by a gradeschool child and shoved into a return envelope, a message from a desert island, scraped out on paper and coiled in a bottle.


amand_r: (COFFEE)
1. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about this.

2. [livejournal.com profile] bluejeanius has created fanart for the great JB VS NPH BIG GAY BATTLE on afterelton. And it's headlining their Wrap-up post! LOL!

3. HIGHLANDER PEEPS! WHEN WAS RICHIE BORN? HE WAS LIKE 17 IN 1992 OR SUMMAT, RIGHT? 1975?

4. Thanks to whomever nommed Gold dust for a CoT award. THREESOME CATEGORY. AWWWW SHEEEIT.

5. I want to do that "What do you think if these fandom tropes?" Meme, but I'm fairly sure that you all know what I think of that shit, and even if you didn't, you wouldn't care.

6. QUESTION: WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS? ANSWER: FUCKING AWESOME.

7. And while we're on the subject, Santa Jaws is coming to town.

8. Took the snickerdoodle to the National Aviary on New Year's Eve…Day. I bet you didn't know that Pittsburgh is the home of the
NATIONAL AVIARY, DID YOU? SUCK IT. WE HAVE FREE-FLIGHT ROOMS.

Okay.

PENGUINS. )
amand_r: (christmas/mc chris evergreen)
1. If you have not been checking out [livejournal.com profile] curriejean's Torchwood Advent Calendar, you should. Jean has gone through the eps of seasons one and two and found all the background music. Not the scores, but the music: Snow Patrol, Alabama 3, The Pipettes, etc. What's the song playing in the bar in that one scene? Jean's got it. It's about 4 songs a day, and I usually pick the ones I want (I already have some of it, and possibly all the Glenn Miller, *glances away*). You can start with today, because she has links to all the past days. Dude, it's sweet. I call it Jeanie's Torchwood Awesome on my iPod.

2. The [livejournal.com profile] hlh_shortcuts fest ends today. Well, the stories are done being posted. There will be a few days of guessing and catching up, and then reveals on the 23rd! Yay!

3. Jaws excerpt:

"So if it wasn't a boat," Gwen said, tossing her gloves in the bin with her empty paper cup. Ianto swallowed his water to cover the fact that he was still queasy from the odour and blinked at the wordless exchange between Jack and Gwen, an exchange that he read as Gwen demanding answers and Jack being unwilling to provide them (yet. If he even had them.).

"We have to close the beaches," Jack said, then turned and barreled out of the room, leaving them standing in the deserted morgue.

Ianto blinked at Gwen. "He does know this is Wales, right?"


4. I have snow pictures of kidlet, but to post them I have to get my head out of my arse. I also have to finish my crimmas shopping. At Target. Awesome.

5. I have to vacuum.
amand_r: (crimmas/jack wearing santa)
1. As I was linked to a rec for Heat Goes To Cold and One Thousand yesterday, the recs mentioned that the stories were ten years old, and it took me aback for a second. They ARE ten years old. At least. They might have been posted in 1998 (the notes say 1999 and 2000, but by 2000 I was living in my flat, and I had posted them before that, so I might be wrong.). I forget. Holy fucking shit. TEN YEARS in online fandom at least. And people are STILL READING them. Thanks people!

2. I feel slightly old.

3. I noticed a few days ago that LJ changed their search function. It now sucks balls. Some journals I would just look up whenever I wanted to see them, and now I can't do that, because they no longer show up in any search function.

Thanks lj, for becoming completely fucktarded. And don't bitch about how I'm a whiny fandom person because I said nothing all through strike through, nipplegate, the plus account/ad bullshit and the recent gender!fail crap. I hate you because your code is stepping backwards, like someon moron deciding they need to throw out their Blue-Ray player for goddamned Betamax.

I have just proven that poem about how when the came for my neighbour, I did nothing, and then they came for mah other neighbour and I did nothing, and then they came and took my Bagelfuls and I uh, I dunno. I forget that poem.

Or that other porn about how if I keep my head when chaos is all around me, then Jackie Aprile might shoot me in the head at a card game. Wait. No.

Sooper secret response for [livejournal.com profile] arsenicjade Dr O: (sigh) sometimes I just get so overwhelmed, I don't know whether to start from the left or from the right.

4. I want Burger King. I KNOW YOU THINK I MEAN THE FOOD, BUT NO, I MEAN THE BURGER KING. ROWR.

PSYCH, I WAS KIDDING. I WANT ME A WHOPPER. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. NO I MEAN THE BURGER. BUT WITH ONLY CHEESE, ONION, KETCHUP, MUSTARD AND PICKLES. IT'S LIKE ASKING THEM TO MAKE YOU A CHEESE BURGER THAT IS 2X THE SIZE! BOO YAH!

5. Yet another reason why Pittsburgh is an awesome place to live. Excerpt: "We wanted to do this street theater to energize people," said Mr. Buba, who wore a name tag bearing the name of UPMC board member G. Nicholas Beckwith III for the mock meeting. "The zombie link works because zombies have an insatiable appetite for human flesh and UPMC seems to have an insatiable appetite for chewing up our communities."

6. It started to snow here in the evening. I put on Ashokan Farewell and stood outside in the drift for about 20 minutes. Good times.

7. I bought this and lost it years ago (I might have given it to a co-worker in the English Department and never got it back; we're squirrely like that.), and I think I might get it again. LOL that amazon remembers that I bought it on April 13, 2003. Oh sad sad sad. :(

8. I'M GONNA SPEND MY MUTHERFUCKING CRIMMAS WITH A MUTHERFUCKING DALEK, BITCHES.

9. I take back all the bad things I was thinking about Dexter. I just got to the point where he tells Cody he'll go to his school for his report on Saudi Arabia.

10. DEAR CRUENTUM, I AM NOT YOUR SANTA, BUT I WROTE YOU FLUFFY SCOTT/JB RPS. No, it wasn't me. I wish it had been.
amand_r: (crimmas/ianto's bow ass)
1. You know what I miss? Witch Hunter Robin. I'd like to see that again.

2. And for those of you who don't believe that Pittsburgh is unique and strange, I bring you the Pittsburgh cookie table, a must at every wedding. I am told mine was good. I wouldn't know because I ate one cookie and when I returned, drunk, it was empty.

3. Sometimes it's good to remember what some music and a good voice over actor can do. )

4. You know, if you have time to read and comment on other stories in the fest, you have time to read and comment on your gift, even if you didn't like it. You just say "Oh thank you!" Mention a few things you liked (Jesus, even if most of it is suck, there's always something redeemable. I found redemption in the Biscuit story), and bob is your goddamn uncle.

5. Before I forget, THANK YOU to [livejournal.com profile] beeej, [livejournal.com profile] bluejeans07, [livejournal.com profile] bethcarielle, and [livejournal.com profile] solsticezero for the spankin' cards! God we're all so effing creative, and beth, your kind words were heartening, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Beeej! HIGHLANDER CARDS RULE. I wanted to do a post-it HL card, but my creative well had run dry. :(
amand_r: (crimmas/jack's crimmas tardis)
1. SOME ANON WROTE ME SUPERMAN/OWEN IN THE COMMENTS TO THE SANTA EXCHANGE. SUPERMAN. OWEN. IT IS FANFUCKING TASTIC. I WANT A WHOLE FREAKING SERIES NOW.

2. [insert my thoughts on slash vs. gen here]

3. [insert my sheer disbelief that we have to get into this again]

4. HEADDESK.

5. I made the best comment I have ever made in LJ ever, last night, over in Sam's LJ:

Amand-r: Though with all that cheese, you really should have some Citrucel.
Miss Winterhill: I like brie rind. I eat it last, like taking apart an oreo.
Amand-r: I have never liked Brie. It tastes like mouldy mushrooms. Yes, I get the irony of that statement.
Miss Winterhill: I hate stuffed peppers.
Amand-r: Hahahahaha I LOVE STUFFED PEPPERS. WE'RE LIKE POLAR OPPOSITES. POLAR BEAR OPPOSITES.
Miss Winterhill: OMG DO WE GET ARMOUR? PANSERBJORN STYLE? Just don't go ripping off anyone's jaw, that's... messy.
Amand-r: I killed a bunch of internet philistines with a jaw. The jaw of an asshat.

Then I found some honey inside the guts of a lion carcass, and I was all pissed off because man, I hate honey. Why couldn't it be pudding?

I fucking love pudding.


See that up there? That's the kind of mood I'm in today. If I had time I'd write you a killer essay about something funny. But I don't have time for you, which is a shame because the thing I'm wasting my time on today is a total suckhole.

6. Finished season one of Dexter last night. Uhm, yeah.

7. Also, I am getting new eyeballs today. I mean contacts. Contacts. Yeah.

Goddammit. I want some dead lion tummy pudding. What flavour would that be? Butterscotch? I think I have butterscotch pudding...
amand_r: (crimmas/ianto's bow ass)
1. OMG John and Paul in CSI: Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. I wish I could explain it myself.

2. The [livejournal.com profile] hlh_shortcuts Highlander Holiday Fic Exchange starts posting today. I have to get off my fat arse.

3. [livejournal.com profile] emquilxy sent me the following link in a textless email simply entitled, ROAD TRIP!

4. [my thoughts on lj's latest thing that fandom has freaked out about here]

5. [my thoughts on liberals]

6. [my thoughts on yaoi]

7. [the change from the transaction I had last night with your mom]

8. [it was a quarter]

9. Today is Julie London day.

10. I'm too busy to talk to you people. Go on. Scram.
amand_r: (crimmas/ianto's crushing santajack)
OMG THERE WAS CAEK! Sometime this week, I'm doing a photo dump, where I will have Barrowsparkle kid photos and pics of her new boyfriend, Frosty the Inflatable Snowman, but for now, you all must deal with—

WE TRACED THE IP. THE UPDATE IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE. )

SOMEONE MAKE ME A TORCHWOOD CRIMMAS ICON. I SWEAR I SUCK SO HARD AT IT. ETA: THANK YOU SO MUCH [livejournal.com profile] angstslashhope!

Also, [livejournal.com profile] kel_reiley said it was okay to post, because it was already tomorrow (And it is, especially in Australia.).
amand_r: (HL/Seekret SantARRRRRGH)
1. For those of you kicking it old school, [livejournal.com profile] hlh_shortcuts's deadline for posting stories is today. If you are going to be late, please email me (I need an extension time), so that I can plan around you. I need to hear from several of you who have fallen off the radar, which is never a good sign.

2.



We went to see Santa Claus! )

3. In the interests of finishing on time, I have decided to challenge myself to write the whole reel TW in scenes of increasing wordcount. So far it breaks down like this:

Prologue- 200 words
Scene 1- 300 words
Scene 2- 400 words

--and so on until I get to 900 words in the last scene, and then the Epilogue is 200 words.

It's been horribly vacillating between funny funny jokes about the movie Jaws (Jack thinks it's funny, they take a boat out called the Shamu. Ianto is not amused) and horrible depictions of people getting slaughtered. I think I might have even used the phrase "meat strippets". I don't know what they are, but I can describe them. I think I like the word "strippets". And if the meat strippets are cooked, the are then termed, "meat scribbles".

I hope you weren't eating.

THAT IS ALL.
amand_r: (HL/Seekret SantARRRRRGH)
THAT IS RIGHT, MY HO'S!

Sign Ups are officially open for the Highlander Fic Exchange! Boo-yah! See you there kiddies!

If you are member of a comm or a maintainer of a community HL related, please help a sister out and spread the word. Y'all rock!



[livejournal.com profile] hlh_shortcuts

No changes this year--lowered the minimum, but really, who uses that? Pah.

The direct link to the Sign Up Sheet. ALL Y'ALL SAID YOU WOULD. NOW DOOOOOOOOOO IT. I NEED ME SOME CRIMMAS METHOS LOVING.
amand_r: (Default)
1. FUCK YEAH SHARKS has their own tribute to John Hughes.

2. DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:

Me: (puts kid in bed)
Her: The bears?
Me: (piles every bear she owns on top of her torso) Yes?
Her: Bears?
Me: (looking at the pile) These are all the bears.
Her: (wailing) The beeeeeeeears!
Me: (O_o)
Her: (gibberish ending in "the bears")
Me: (moves a panda bear two inches closer to her face) Like this?
Her: Okay.

WTF, PEOPLE. I CANNOT WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS. I SAID RED M & Ms ONLY. (TOSSES FRUIT BASKET)

THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARS. (Imagine I sang that, Victoria de los Angeles style)

3. So last night I had a fandom playdate with [livejournal.com profile] azarias, who is awesome and lovely and has some of the most awesome ideas about DW and TW, and is friends with someone I know from a different fandom, therefore proving that we are a VERY SMALL COMMUNITY, no matter how far apart we seem. We met in a neutral location, just in case one or the other of us was crazy, and managed to eat a great Thai dinner around screams of, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS RUSTY THINKING?!" and "OH. MY. GOD. JB. NO." Then we went for coffee, which is a lot less complicated than it sounds, since Starbucks was right next door. But we sat outside and she sold me on The Authority again, and we talked about what a horrible ship Alan Moore/Tori Amos would be, and how Mark Millar needs to be bludgeoned a little bit.

Also, she has a Van Helsing fic she's working on THAT SHE SHOULD FINISH (yeah girl, I'm looking at you!). She listened to me blather on, and SHE EVEN LAUGHED AT MY JACK/JOHN SCAT FIC IDEA. BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME. Or because it made her nervous. Hrm.

We also think Kenneth Branaugh would be a great Thor, esp. if he'd more like Ultimates Thor.

4. THAT MEME THING WOT I DID LAST WEEK, CONT. )

5. FUCK YEAH NEIL PATRICK HARRIS is officially my favorite blog of the week.

6. I haven't seen Monsoon Wedding in years, but with the seemingly-constant rain and my daughter continuing to pick my neighbour's marigolds and being them to me (eep! sorry, neighbours!), I find myself thinking of the minor character of Dubey the wedding planner, who is a stressed out, rather socially awkward and yet obnoxious man who is jaded from planning so many weddings and yet never falling love himself. In the film, he falls for one of the servant girls, Alice, on sight. They spend most of the film never really talking, but they kind of make cow eyes at each other (or rather, he makes them at her), and I am stuck by the memory of him watching her from across the yard, and eating marigolds which, IIRC are supposed to settle the trembling heart. Aside from that meaning I know there are others, but that's an image Nair sticks me with, and Jesus, is it beautiful and wistful, and I kind of wish for it in some ways.

When I'm all romantic and not, like, writing scatfic.
amand_r: (x is for x-rated!)
OH HAI BIRFDAY. MY CHILDREN, I AM NOW OLD ENOUGH TO DIE FOR YOUR SINS. AND IF YOU THINK THAT WAS BLASPHEMOUS, THEN YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND JESUS VERY WELL. HE THINKS YOU NEED TO SIT AND SPIN. HE TOLD ME SO.

BEFORE I TELL YOU ALL ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU ROCK, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING SAD.

[livejournal.com profile] simons_flower passed away last week, leaving us all behind, but most importantly, her daughter and husband. I cannot imagine what that would be like, to lose a parent at that age.

But sometimes fandom rocks; they raised money for her 2 fandom BFFs to fly out to the funeral, and they are raising money to donate to the Lupus Foundation, and that's good.

And [livejournal.com profile] mudblood428 did this art for her, and it's gorgeous, and kind of indicative of how I wish things were. It's brilliant and sad and good all at the same time, and encompasses the kind of "reunion" that I wish was in the afterlife, if I believed in one, deep down.

(And you know what? Deep down, I do. I really really do. Jeez. I'm like the fuckign velveteen rabbit.)



Srsly, guyz. )

Okay above the cut, I want to tell you all about the awesome people in fandom, like Foxy and Anya and zomgvampires and Taff and Smirnoff and Blue-blue and Jesus (that's a cuss word, not a person. Jesus writes SPN MPREG WINCEST, and I'm not into that), everyone I missed. You are all fabulous and funny and brainy (I know, I checked ur skulls while you were sleeping—scrapple!). That almost devolved into Harley Quinn's Joker fish song, so be grateful that it did not.

Also of note: [livejournal.com profile] lionessvalenti made me a Jack/TARDIS fanmix. JACK/TARDIS, MAH OTP. It's called You Taste Like the Wind, and it has GORGEOUS ART. I feel like my birthday was a big bang story or something, people. Check-- crue's srsly NSFW post it art that makes me actually frightened of weevils, and Neifile's Cute action figures that inspired the Delores/Jack/Myfanwy in the comments. It's not my fault. It's this $50/pound Blue Mountain Jamaican that I'm quaffing like it's going out of fucking style (it totes isn't.)

ALSO: [livejournal.com profile] idontlikegravy emailed me and asked me if I had any topics for her, and I provided man, because I LIKE TO GIVE OPTIONS. SHE WROTE THEM ALL. OMGWTFBBQ. five ficlets for mah birfday. And they are all crossovers either Buffy/TW crossovers or HL/TW crossover and they fucking rock. They include: JackHarkness/Faith, Oz and Ianto Jones at the Hub, Methos and Gwen Cooper trapped in an elevator, The Doctor and Joe Dawson, and Jack/Anyanka (THAT WOULD BE ANYA WHEN SHE WAS STILL A DEMON, AND IT BRILLIANT). Plus there's a bonus fic with everyone!

In light of all of that awesomeness from all of you, I want you all to promise that you won't kick me out of fandom for the next fic I post. HAAAHAHAHAHAA. SUCK IT.

Also? I have never had so much fandom Whee! over my birthday before. I'm flattered and a little giggly. And a little blushy.
amand_r: (HP/thuggz 4 life)
Today is my personal WIP dump as I clean out my "fics to write" folder. Some of these have been languishing for a long while, and alas, I cannot finish them. So here we have three fics that I am abandoning but which have either full scenes or large enough sections to make them interesting. Anyway, I never remember when it's WIP amnesty day, plus I don't feel as if I need your forgiveness anyway, not for this.

1. Harry Potter: Les Liaisons dangereuses (started, March 2008)

Last year for the Snarry games I wanted to write Harry Potter a la Les Liaisons dangereuses, with Harry as Valmont and Snape as Volanges, and of course, Draco as the viscious Mertueil. I had cast everyone in my head. Ginny was going to be the innocent Cecile, etc etc etc, but there were some issues, and there was some concern that it wasn't Snarry enough (eyeroll), and I had been looking forward to rewriting Harry's past, being sorted into Slytherin, and his sexy hateful relationship with Draco. Snape wasn't going to be good by any measure, but he was going to be voluntarily celibate and despising of Harry and Draco's hedonism and amorality. What's the word? Hrm. It was going to end like the Pfeiffer/Malkovich/Close film, though—Harry and Snape dead. Draco disgraced. Possibly Ginny pregnant with Harry's child.

Anyway, I started it, and I never finished, because I was so put off by the feedback I received by mah cohorts. I did Grosse Pointe Blank instead, and that was fun. But if today is fic amnesty, I'll show you what I got, because it would have been a great start.

Potter—you're a git. )

2. Torchwood: Jack and Narnia (started March 2009)

Wait wait wait, come with me here. It's not that he GOES to Narnia. I've already done that. The fact is I love those books like burning, but that's because of things that don't involve you. Methos went to Narnia to be redeemed, and I didn't want to do the same thing. But something about the subtle nature of Aslan being the savior is striking in the way that he is capricious about it, especially with the information that he doesn't give, and that reminds me of the Doctor in some ways. I had written this in four chunks, but it lays the narrative out, and it's more of a small character piece than anything with any real plot. Plus Ianto gets the funny line about the wardrobe.

Is this about that wardrobe down in the vaults? )



3. Highlander: The Batman (started December 2007)

Duncan MacLeod is Batman. Richie is Robin. Joe is Commissioner Gordon. Amanda is the Catwoman. Michelle Webster is her ward, and Methos is Alfred. It started as a lame ass joke over in the shortcuts comm in 2008, and was egged on by the picture on the left. Oh come on. That is Amanda Montrose (Oh and also sex.). I let it gestate into 3000+ words. It's pretty funny, but it's obvs not done. I keep holding out that I'll finish it, but I never will. Enjoy the crack.

Please tell me that you call that the Bat-cup. )

So there they go into my abandoned fics folder. Bye bye! Hand waving.

::sob::

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