amand_r: (tw/jack licks eleven)
[livejournal.com profile] touchyerwood HAS BEEN UPDATED! SPREAD THE WORD! GO! READ! LINK! REQUEST!

Next, does anyone know hoe to get in touch with waldo? I emailed a few weeks ago. How long should I wait before I just plow ahead? Two weeks? I think we should wait for MD to end in the US, which is next Friday. So, plenty of time. Then I guess I have to make a comm. Will everyone pimp for me?

Also, Highlander people, waiting for word from [livejournal.com profile] tryfanstone re: shortcuts this year. If she wants to do it, she can, but I am more than happy to take it on this year! Or. We could let yuletide have it. SADFACE.
amand_r: (waaaaaaaa)
Okay. So.

I opened a document to start a new story (in which vampires are normal and humans are the myth. I'm working on it.), and I couldn't face the whiteness. So I opened episode 8 and corrected the grammar there, and then. Then. I looked down.

There, from under the L key—dust. I saw that.

So after about twenty minutes of tweezing clumps of cat hair and dust and detritus from my keyboard, I stopped to consider that I might have a small problem.

Writer's block.

It's not like I haven't had it before, the erectile dysfunction of the literary world (can you tell how desperate I was to make that joke?), but this comes at a time when I am teeming with ideas. I have about a dozen scenes in the season 4 that I'd love to put down. I have about thirty short stories in various stages of development. I have four stories that I should edit and resubmit.

I'm going to have to drop out of the tw genfic fest. I know it's not going to be done. It's not even started. It's planned. I could start it and get myself rolling, but I can think of so many other things that are more important, like the stories for money. I can't make myself work on fanfic because I think I have to get more stories done so I can sell them.

I have to relax.

Here's how bad it is: I get Poets and Writer's Magazine, and I use the back to mine for submissions, and I haven't opened the last 2 (it's every other month, so that should tell you something) because the Jan/Feb issue is titled 'The Inspiration Issue'. Look at that cover and tell me that's not intimidating. Or it could just be me.

It's not a new thing that I don't like to listen to other people talk about their writing. And I don't mean in a "this is my plot" way. That's okay. I don't like to listen to meta about writing. I don't care about why someone writes, or how they do it, or what drives them. Because it makes me think about what drives me, and I don't care about that either. Everyone seems more together than me. Everyone seems to think this is…important enough to talk about (I think I'm doing that now). All I know is that the more I think about my process, the worse my fic is received, the less it's liked, so I don't LIKE to think about it. So, there.

Also: everyone I know is writing a book. One of them sold their book. Others are submitting theirs. I don't even have a short story to send anywhere. Every time I try to sit down and edit, I think, "God, what's the point, editing isn't going to make it better." /whine (If you are one of those people reading this, I sincerely wish you nothing but the best, really, I do.)

Anyway, I am blocked. I even have an idea for a two-column poem about a man licking the print advert for gum in the subway car. See? Ideas. Still. Who's going to buy/print that shit? My gum poem? Fuck that shit.

Part of it is this doubt that I know where to submit my stuff. I don't know. It's not like the shit I read in the samples, and I can't find a place that has stuff like mine. And that bothers me, or something. Or maybe I think it's interesting. I dunno. I just have to find the place.

I feel better just writing all this.

Fuck all that. Okay. Coconut Man, Moonheads, and P.



Next on Amanda blogs: I have discovered how to exercise, and nyah nyah nyah, you bastards. Also, Cashmere Mafia was the worst trainwreck of a show I have watched since The L Word, but I couldn't stop watching.
amand_r: (firefly/well fuck)
Stolen from like, three different people:

1. Name 2 characters from any of my fandoms.
2. Name a destination, anywhere in the known or created universes.
3. I'll write you one character's postcard to the other, from that destination.
4. ...because I'm really bored at work.

I don't work, so that last bit doesn't apply, unless you think child rearing is a job. AND IT SO FUCKING IS.
amand_r: (tw/ianto hello!)
1.



2. CANT. STOP. LAUGHING.

3. BUTT.

4. WRITING RCBW STOP SUCKING ASS STOP NOT YOUR ASS STOP YOUR MOM'S STOP HA HA I JUST MADE A YOUR MOM JOKE IN A TELEGRAM STOP EXCEPT THIS ISN'T A TELEGRAM SEMICOLON IT'S A POST ON THE INTERNET STOP I GUESS THESE SHOULD BE CLOSE TAGS OR SOMETHING STOP IS THAT TOO META QUESTION MARK STOP I DUNNO I'M JUST SAYING I HAVE BEEN WATCHING A LOT OF FAMILY GUY STOP WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT QUESTION MARK STOP OH YEAH I'M WRITING AND IT'S NOT GOING WELL STOP MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH TRYING TO WRITE ANGST WHILST HAVING A HEAD FULL OF AN INFANT SAYING 'WHAT THE DEUCE' QUESTION MARK STOP AND AN ALCOHOLIC DOG WHO SINGS SHOWTUNES STOP.

5. I have one sentence of wholas. One. It's four lines long. Wharton, you say? You will recognise my story this week because it will be the only one that, whilst you read it, in your head it's narrated by Joanne Woodward.
amand_r: (amanda is nuts)
1. What's with Family Guy's Conway Twitty thing? It started with short clips, and now 7.13 had a whole performance of "I See The 'Want To' In Your Eyes". Not that I didn't LOL, but what up with this? Did Seth MacFarlane get the rights to all Conway Twitty's music or something?

2. The drawback to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS in my house is that I don't want to write. Why does this happen? It happens when I have a shitload of things to do, that's for damn sure. Wholas, kinky krimmas, the twfemfic fest, about six original fic things to do, plus that charity book thing (NO I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN, TWITTER PEOPLE). I need something to jumpstart my ass. OH AND ALSO I HAVE THAT SEASON OF TORCHWOOD WOT I BE DOING. JESUS.

SOMEONE KICK ME IN THE ARSE.

3. My fried egg fu is sufficiently warmed up, so tonight it's stout and cheddar rarebit with fried eggs and the old stand-by, carrots and leeks. Oh carrots and leeks, why can't I quit you? I am using balsamic vinegar again instead of red wine vinegar.

4. My kid is in preschool! She started Monday, and so far so good.

5. This year she wants to be Snow White for Halloween. See Mander drive from one store to another.

6. I SEE THE 'WANT TO' IN YOUR EYES.

7. Ever look at all your junk and become filled with the urge to see how much of it you can sell? Because I think that might be my new hobby.

8. Writing a short story about a unicorn showing up on a midwest farm, and it's not going to have a happy ending. But all this urban or modern fantasy, I have no idea who takes it. My horror is not going over well with the horror markets. All my rejections are like, "This is good, but it's not us. Do you have anything more us?" It's enough to make a girl turn to poetry. Which, oh hai quiet passion.

9. I keep all my books that I'm currently reading stashed about the house in places. I have, at any given time, about 8 of them, and sometimes I substitute more when I get in a new pulp crap thing that I'll do in three days (or hours). So I finished Wharton, and picked up The Abridged Tale of Genji, like a responsible reader. Then I got waylaid by The Murder of Biggie Smalls. BUT THEN I GOT WAYLAID BY LKH'S NEW ANITA BLAKE BOOK. OH MY GOD IF MY READING HABITS WERE A NASDAQ CHART, IT WOULD LOOK LIKE BLACK MONDAY. With any luck I can skim my way through LKH and back into Biggie and then into Genji and the Burroughs I cracked the other day.

10. Okay, I just want to state for the record that I find it humourous, given the general attitude that the lyrics of Death Row records used to have re: the police, that they would only hire off-duty cops for their security. On one hand it's heartening, because it shows that it's possible to believe in the corruption of some of the police dept and still believe in their abilities or that some of them are good. On the other hand it's lol.

11. I have a mental image of Jack teaching Lois, Maggie and Robert how to lindy hop after hours in the atrium, to this song. They all have their shoes off, and they're goofing off in their stocking feet in the atrium. Gwen and Dee are in their offices pretending they don't hear. But they do. Gwen gives in, but Dee puts her head phones in and listens to Barry Manilow. BEANS AND CORNBREAD.
amand_r: (YOUR MOM)
I HAD SEX WITH GARETH DAVID LLOYD ON A SINK AT DRAGON*CON AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY MANICURE:



Yes, this sums up my whole D*C experience nicely. )

That was my big fat D*C exp. Seriously, few panels, lots of booze, tonnes of food, great people, EXCELLENT CONVERSATIONS, and a renewed sense of writing. I WILL WRITE THAT FPREG. IT WILL BE AWESOME.

OH AND I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A SEASON TO AIR THIS FALL.

Oh, and Jack and Ianto's post-it D*C adventure )

BUT FOR NOW, my dad is out of surgery, and I'm waiting to hear how he is, and I have plans to make biscotti with cabernet cocoa powder, and possibly some cupcakes.

I dreamt about biscotti last night.

I made a list of shit to do divided by pages: on page per category, house, work, online, general, errands, etc. IT'S NINE PAGES LONG.

See ya'll on the flip side.

EDIT: I bought their Netherworld Blend and the Reanimator Blend. The latter is great. Haven't tasted the firmer. Go there and browse the teas and coffees.
amand_r: (obligatory serious icon)
You know how they air pilots early? Like to test the water?

Would anyone be averse to seeing that? Just a bare bones pilot, no explanation, just the pilot, at a late night slot. :P
amand_r: (tw/ianto makes my ass look great)
1. GAH.

ME: Blah blah blah.
THERAPIST: Blah blah BLAH blah. ::eyebrows::
ME: Blah Blah. ::wavey hands::
THERAPIST: AH HAH. THERE IT IS!
ME: Whut?
THERAPIST: There's your problem! Your issue!
ME: ::smacks head:: GODDAMMIT.
THERAPIST: Ha ha ha! Found it! NOW YOUR REAL THERAPY CAN BEGIN.
ME: SHITBEARS!
THERAPIST: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE IT.
ME: SHUT UP, RAFIKI.
THERAPIST: Same time next week?
ME: Yes please.


2. MBABB IS AT 137,350. That sounds impressive until you realise that on 6/27 I had 125,242, so this month I have only done 12,108 on it. SHITBEARS.

3. I'm going to start taking my prozac at night and see if that doesn't cure my exhaustion during the day.

4. Because I can't leave well enough alone, the current ep I'm working on:

They both jumped into the SUV and Maggie started the car, turning the heater on full blast. It hadn't been off long enough to have completely cooled down and the warmth spread across Lois's hose-covered legs. Bliss.

"Lo," Maggie said, tucking the tickets into the sun visor, "please tell me you packed denims or some other heavy work trousers."

Lois shrugged. "I have slacks and a pair of coveralls."

Maggie sighed. "Okay, we have a little bit of time, and the Quay is open." She pointed to the hulking shopping arena that boasted hundreds of outlet stores. "Lois Habiba, you need to dress for a mess."

"Dress for a mess," Lois deadpanned as she pulled her shit coffee from the cup-holder and took a sip. Absence did not make the tongue grow fonder. Maggie started the SUV and pulled out of the Wightlink lot.

"I bet they have a Starbucks," Maggie sang.

Lois gestured at the windshield with the cup. "Sally forth, my good woman."


That is all.

ETA: IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.
amand_r: (batman/check this shit yo)
IN THE MEANTIME, THE BEST THING EVER. THANKS KEL AND CLAIRE!

amand_r: (Default)
The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request ~something~ of any pairing/character of their choosing from me. In return, they have to post this in their journal. If you absolutely can't write, you can offer drawings or icons or something instead (meta? picspams? reasons why that character/pairing rocks/doesn't rock?).

They will be fics. They have to fit in the comments to this post, man. You don't have to repost to request. Any of my listed fandoms. Awwww yeah.
amand_r: (christmas/mc chris evergreen)
1. Whoa, what's with the haterade, people over on [livejournal.com profile] torch_wood? Stop being asshats.

2. MEEEEEEEEEEEME. A WRITING MEME. LOTS OF BULLSHIT. )
amand_r: (Default)
Last week I went to the Urgent care because my throat was sore on one side to the point where my neck was sore. The doctor gave me a Z-pak and some magic swizzle, which didn't work because my throat is sore on the outside. The antibiotic, however, worked like a charm and in 2 days I was feeling better. I finished the Z-pak Saturday and all was well.

EXCEPT.

Everything came raging back Monday night. I was due to see my doctor Wednesday, so I held on, and now, I'm still recovering. He gave me a scrip for another antibiotic that is a ten day one. Something about Z-paks not working sometimes due to their brevity. Lovely waste of money, that was.

Anyway, I am tired and sick and I haven't written in 2 weeks because I just haven't felt well enough. well there was that one story. Anyway, I feel...

I dunno if there's a point to writing any more fanfic, actually. That's how I feel. I dunno. I'm writing some and..anyway, whatevs, I feel bad because my betas have been all over it and I feel like they wasted their time. I dunno if I have anything else to say.

Maybe I'm just sick and tired of being sick. And tired.
amand_r: (VSTROYER OF WORLDS)
WORK:
--This week three stories will go out.
--Three more will be done, but I might have to set one of them aside.
--I have to start a set of three. I seem to work best in threes.
--Am getting ready to work on the novel again. The werewolf one. Not the porn. I think I might self publish it. For shits and giggles. No one wants this books, I guarantee.

FANNISH:
--Working on episode 6/14. Total word count: 125,242. It's brilliant, I think. But by the time I'm ready to show it, you will all have forgot me. (insert woe is me).
--Have been doing WIAD, but I feel uninspired and hackneyed. Might just stop now.
--Have a rec list I am compiling, but feel blah about it.

HEALTH:
--Cannot seem to lose weight. Working on it.
--Upped the melatonin back to 3 mg after 1.5 woke me at 4 am repeatedly.
--I hate iron pills. I hate Benefiber. I hate Colace.

READING:
--Finished all of LKH's Anita Blake. Skin Trade wasn't as bad as I remember it being. PLOT. Gratuitous cumshot at the end, though. It was so crass I almost have to give LKH props for putting a pearl necklace in a mainstream book.
--Working on the new Star Wars.
--Stalled on "The Stranger".
--Stalled on Sloane Crosley's "I was Told There Would Be Cake"

KIDLET:
--Potty trained. Did I mention that?
--Also:



THIS ENTRY BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE 'IT'S TOO HOT TO BE OUTSIDE BAH' COMMITTEE.
amand_r: (obligatory serious icon)
The thing is, given any current time you are bound to feel certain ways, and even though you feel that way now, you won't feel that way forever. So when I say all of these things, I already know that I might feel differently later. I'm always surprised at the number of people who feel the need to tell you that you won't feel a certain way forever, that things will pass. That's never helpful for me. It just makes me feel like they think I'm a moron. Though to be fair, it's one of those things to say when you don't know what to say, so it's not like it's horribly offensive to hear, so we should all feel free to keep on saying it. It's okay. So, in full cognizance that I am not feeling very well, I say the following things: )
amand_r: (COFFEE)
1. [livejournal.com profile] unovis_lj linked to a slideshow of the paintings stolen from the Museum of Modern Art in Paris on Thursday night. That takes balls. Balls made of stupid. LOL.

2. So, fest time. [livejournal.com profile] retconbookwrite is a fest so we can wrote stories that involve Torchwood book canon. It's an exchange, so you can be challenged! And no, you don't have to have read all of the books! HOW AWESOME IS THAT. Remember though, no matter what the stripper tells you no matter what Cruentum tells you, there's no sex in the champagne room he's running this thing, not me. The [livejournal.com profile] retconbookwrite is open for business and accepting signups until June 5th. Posting begins on September 15th. Rules and Questions here. Sign Ups here.


3. POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTLE.

4. A Partial Map of Your TARDIS (Subject to Change) Haaahahah.
amand_r: (west wing/mrs landingham)
Why do so many people say "I usually hate 2nd person, but..." when they want to complement a 2nd person story? Where is this spate of 2nd person POV fanfic? Because I can think of like, maybe ten I've ever read, and three of them are mine. How much can you have possibly read? Do you think then, maybe it's not the POV that bothers you, but that most people do it badly? So it's no big complement to say "I don't usually like it but..." What you should say is, "I find most 2nd person POV to be crap, but yours is good." There is nothing to like or dislike about a POV. There's something to like or dislike about what a person has DONE with a POV.

In any case, even if, after extensive sampling you don't like 2nd pov, it I dunno gives you hives or something, please think of something to say other than, "I don't usually like 2nd pov, but you did a good job! You made a silk purse out of the sow's ear of 2nd person!"

This really had no point. I just feel for others who write in 2nd and when 75% of their comments start with that I feel like checking to see if comments are being made accidentally triplicate.

Anyway, I don't actually care enough to discuss it. I have episodes of Johnathan Creek to watch. WHO IS THIS HO IN THE 4TH SEASON? AND DAMN YOU BBC FOR INTRODUCING HER IN THE CHRISTMAS ONE OFF SPECIAL THAT ONE CANNOT ACQUIRE LEGALLY FROM NETFLIX. FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE EAR, YOU BBC AND YOUR "HOLIDAY SPECIALS".

I know she's Saffy from AbFab. I just don't like her. I don't like that she and Johnathan had sex. I don't like that she's married and they're still playing the UST all over the place. God does that get old. SOLVE THE DAMN CRIME WITHOUT YOUR BOOBS FALLING OUT OF THAT TOP--OOH LOOK, IT'S MANNY FROM BLACK BOOKS.

So, I said that I was at like 58K in my MBABB, and it's upped to about 60 now, but I stopped the other day and went, "What if this is shite? Jesus, what if people are tired of your writing style?" So I thought I'd dump some stuff out on the table for you and make myself feel better.

It's like the bodyswap in a lot of ways--teamy, funny, actiony. It's less about relationships. It's more about Torchwood and what they do, and the emotional/relationship stuff is all in the back. I mean, it happens, but at about the level you see in the show. It's episodic. As in, I'm writing 13 stories, most of which hover around 20K. It has an arc. Like five of them, well okay a lot of them, and it's complicated and I'm writing all the eps at once, actually, though I try to front load, so like 1 is done and betaed, and 2 is done and waiting for beta and 3 is almost done, and I have 4 already well underway. 5-10 are pretty much outlined and started. 11-13 are still in the planning stages, with chunks written, and I add and change as I write from the front.

But right now it feels like a lot of 'Holy crap, what if I do all this for nothing?' And while I'm having a great time, I still like to share what I'm doing, and it's...wow is it fun. It has OCs and old favorites, old gadgets and new ones, a few characters who barely made an appearance in the show. I even manage to find places to work in things like UNIT, the Valiant, PC Andy, etc. It's awesome.

So, because I can never wait, without giving away critical spoilers, I present six samples. )
amand_r: (x is for x-rated!)
1. Jesus, I'm only into three episodes into season 6 of The L Word, and I completely understand why everyone wants to kill Jenny Schecter. OH MY GOD. edit Finished it. I'm glad she's dead. I really am.

2. MBABB WC: 57,980+. FINISHED %: 15-20. HEADDESK: EMINENT.

3. THIS IS GOING TO BE SO BAD IT WILL BE BRILLIANT. YES PLEASE.

4. GET OUT OF THERE! (thanks, Snaxi!)

5. The thing they be doing here, I like it:



6. pockeh_slasha asked me questions. )

7. Pittsburgh: Solving your 'Who should I drunk dial?' issues since 2006.
amand_r: (tw/jack licks eleven)
1. I want Jonathan Creek and Maddy to hook up. I know it probably won't happen.

2. [livejournal.com profile] copperbadge wrote Scott/John volcano phone sex. YEAH. John Versus the Volcano. LOL.

3. [livejournal.com profile] adjovi was stuck in Benin because of volcanic ash. Read her awesome adventures on flying AIR MALI and their tickets printed on WORD DOCUMENTS.

4. [livejournal.com profile] curriejean sent me a necklace of awesome. Pics when my hair is being better, BUT she also sent me stickers! VOTE SAXON stickers!

5. Big ass bang is at 14 K and that's just episode one. a snippet, because I can't not. )

6. Lastly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa's 1993 masterpiece, "Step":

I'm your honey-dipper so you say, you know
Then you react and attack every flirt and ho
But oh, no - you gots to go now, bro
To and fro, unh-unh, no mo'
So just walk out the door and be out like Margetta[?]
I've been through this before, but now I think I betta
Kick ya to the curb cuz this hurts, word
You dis and wanna kiss? Now that's absurd
Yo, Spinderella ain't the kind type to be pulled down, ya know
Before I go out I go blow-for-blow
So tell those hos that sittin' there waitin' by the phone
That they can have you cuz you's gone.


Because Spinderella is the best DJ name EVAR. (Except for DJ Panda).
amand_r: (this is why we can't have nice things)
Who knows something about:

1. MacHeath the highwayman
2. Mac the Knife the song, NOT THE THREEPENNY OPERA.
3. Alternate versions of highwayman stories in classic poetry, etc.

Like Alfred Noyes, I already know the story of the highwayman and Bess the landlord's daughter.

Mac the Knife, the named dead women in the version I have are Sookie Tawdry, Jenny Diver, Lottie Lignion. Are there others? IR there being.
amand_r: (paperclip/writing)
WHO WANTS SOME KARFLUKI?



1. Bruce Lee plays ping-pong with a nunchuck. It's Bad. Ass.

2. I haven't even finished introducing everyone yet, and my Big Bang is at 10K. Granted, about 3500 of that’s scraps of post episode one, with Jack and stuff, but. Yeah, I'm in love with my fic.

3. I keep having strange dreams. Last week, I dreamed about [livejournal.com profile] earthly_gnome at least three times (Jesus, man, learn how to make a pulled pork sandwich!). Then it was me and Jack Harkness as serial killers. But Thursday night I dreamt that I went to see my sister-in-law, [livejournal.com profile] kwanalicious where she was attending university (still! Sorry K! Maybe you were in grad school or something!), and I saw Tianyu there. He was there studying, and it was awkward, like I was all "YOU WERE DEAD" and he was all blushing, "yeah about that…" He paid a lot of lip service to getting back together, but it was clear that he had a new life there and possibly a girlfriend, and as I tried to like, be in his dorm room with him, all his friends were like, "who is this chick?" and it was clear that I was not supposed to be there. It's pretty clear how to interpret that dream (and K, sorry, but you knew and you were like, "Yeah, he asked me not to tell you."), but it bothered me all day. To the point when after dinner, when I was talking to someone and the conversation came around to Tianyu, as it sometimes does, I actually, for the first time in my life wanted to say, "Could we just not talk about Tianyu?" I mean, it wasn't their fault and I wasn't made at them for bringing him up, lord knows I do it all the time. This is the first time in which I would just rather not deign to say his name or whatever. All the real reasons I have to be mad at him in life and I get pissed to not-speaking over a fictional dream.

Of course today is his birthday, which is both strange and sad. He would have been thirty today, and I would have made many many jokes. And he would have rolled his eyes and given me the finger. And then we would have had "OMG OLD PEOPLE ARE THIRTY!SEX" because that is what we did. Seriously, I got pregnant the one month we were using as a dry run for the actual babymaking effort. We weren't going to start "trying in earnest" until April. March was just for fun. Whoops.

4. Thanks everyone for the kind words last week. I just couldn't think of things to say in response. But I saw them all, and I was touched. Touched by a ninja. No fr srs, it was nice of all of you.

5. Uhm. I made a big bang for myself because I needed a deadline, and then some crazy people(flocked b/c he's a precious snowflake, Crue is) also signed up. So if you feel like it, we're going for it. The only requirement is that at some point in time messy sandwiches must make an appearance. I don't know how that started, but there it is. I hear that [livejournal.com profile] blue_fjords is doing it for SPN, BUT I HAVE YET TO SEE A SIGN UP. COME ON, MY LOVELY. MAKE IT PAN-FANDOM. BI….FANDOM. YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR LABELS. LIKE ARMANI AND HANES.

6. Speaking of fanfic, MAN, YOU PEOPLE HAVE BEEN BUSY over at [livejournal.com profile] touchyerwood. Page six alone needs at least three handy wipes.

7. And lastly, thanks so much for everyone who voted for me over at the Children of Time Awards. I am so pleased that you liked the Het and the Three or Moresome (and to win close to Foxay! Rowr!), but that you voted for When Taken Apart when I know it's depressing as hell…I was chuffed and thanks so very very much. And congrats to everyone and their mum for winning! It's like my friendslist came all over the page! Yaaaaaaay!

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