amand_r

1. I want Jonathan Creek and Maddy to hook up. I know it probably won't happen.

2. copperbadge wrote Scott/John volcano phone sex. YEAH. John Versus the Volcano. LOL.

3. adjovi was stuck in Benin because of volcanic ash. Read her awesome adventures on flying AIR MALI and their tickets printed on WORD DOCUMENTS.

4. curriejean sent me a necklace of awesome. Pics when my hair is being better, BUT she also sent me stickers! VOTE SAXON stickers!

5. Big ass bang is at 14 K and that's just episode one. ( a snippet, because I can't not. )

6. Lastly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa's 1993 masterpiece, "Step":

I'm your honey-dipper so you say, you know
Then you react and attack every flirt and ho
But oh, no - you gots to go now, bro
To and fro, unh-unh, no mo'
So just walk out the door and be out like Margetta[?]
I've been through this before, but now I think I betta
Kick ya to the curb cuz this hurts, word
You dis and wanna kiss? Now that's absurd
Yo, Spinderella ain't the kind type to be pulled down, ya know
Before I go out I go blow-for-blow
So tell those hos that sittin' there waitin' by the phone
That they can have you cuz you's gone.

Because Spinderella is the best DJ name EVAR. (Except for DJ Panda).

Oh hallo. Are you here for something?

Of course you are.

What's your name? You're Candy?

Of course you are.

On behalf of Myself, cruentum, and degenerates everywhere, welcome to:


Thanks again to laurab1 for this gorgeous art!

( Rules and link to the conversation post. )

Thanks so much. Have fun, pervs.

FIRST:

1. It is the middle of the night, and you wake from a dead sleep because you have to pee. You shuffle to the bathroom and don't even bother turning on the light because you know the way. While there you realise that you have to use feminine protection. You also notice that you run out of loo roll. You unwrap the loo roll and pull the old roll from the spool, and then sit there, half awake, holding the spool in one hand and the new roll in the other.

The spool is, I repeat, the spool is NOT the feminine protection that you have yet to retrieve. No, I stopped myself before it got that far, but I did wonder why it was so big around whilst I held it.

There's a moral (sp—is that spelled right? Moral? Morel? No that's a mushroom. Moral reminds me of sorrel, which always make me think of High Chapparal. Chapparal? Chaparale? Fuck. I'll quit before I start questioning the spelling of "the" and "chair") here, but I don't know who it is.

2. Watching season one of the Tudors again. Why does everyone give each other brooches? From now on, everyone's getting brooches from me.

Side note: OH HAI THAR, EXTREME HOTTNESS THAT IS JOHN RHYS-MYERS' ABS. HOLY FUCK.

3. In cleaning my house, I am stunned by the sheer amount of junk I have, in the form of bits and baubles and things that I cannot simply throw in a box and label. I have baskets and small boxes of little things that I simply don't know what to do with—things I no longer want and haven't needed in the past three years, not enough to unpack them from the basement boxes in which a great deal of them reside. I find myself pitching large quantities of crap. I want to be as light as possible.

Likewise, wow, half-price books, you are awesome.

Additionally, in going through my shelves and boxes of books in the basement, I am slowly filling a box of books marked, simply, "unread". So this year, I shall endeavor to empty that box. It's filled with contemporary novels, non fiction, and a bunch of classic lit I never got to. Like some Dickens and Orczy and even one or two poets whose volumes I purchased and never finished. I would promise not to buy any more books until I finish these, but that is foolhardy and something to which I can never hold myself. So I shan't lie that way. But it's a goal—read more. Read well. Read smartly.

That said, I read the latest Hamilton Merry Gentry book, Divine Misdemeanours. ( Hey, it's in my ereader. OMG SPOILERS )

4. OH HAI. RPF/RPS CARNIVALE THIS WEEKEND. RIGHT THE FUCK IN THIS LJ. cruentum IS SO EXCITED HE'S ABOUT TO VIBRATE THROUGH THE INTERNETS. THEN HE WILL BE THE GHOST IN THE SHELL, AND HE'LL HAUNT YOUR ISP AND WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING YOUR THESIS, HE'LL REPLACE ALL THE IMAGES AND PIE CHARTS IN THE DOCUMENT WITH PICTURES OF JB'S ASS. YOU MIGHT BE AMUSED. YOUR THESIS ADVISOR AT THE ENTOMOLOGY DEPARTMENT PROBABLY WON'T BE. I think I already addressed this above, but whatevs.

Don't let that happen to you. Write for the Torchwood/Doctor Who RPF Carnivale.

5. So we have a little bit of snow in Pittsburgh this past month. So some mutherfuckers decide it's a great time to do some URBAN SKIING. My favorite is probably the Joe Montana bridge at about 4:00 to the end, and if you watch the credits you not only see some awesome FAIL, but you hear them make fun of Yinzertalk, which is always fun. (h/t emquilxy)

6. I'm in season two of the Sopranos again. How did I miss this gem? TONY: (frustrated and with finality) Cunnilingus and psychiatry have brought us to this.

Yes. Tony. Yes.

7. My TW season 4 file is corrupted or something, and it was my back up copy. I checked the original and it has no changes since last month. It's like Jesus doesn't want me to write TW anymore. Okay, Jesus.

1. The response to the RPF is lolarious. Part of me is like, "Well, you knew it would be like this," and the rest of me is like, O_o? Not mad or anything, so much as intrigued in a dissecting animals way.

2. Porno or Pony? You decide. I got 5/12, so obviously I need to watch more porn, and also get me some more fishponies. (h/t kwanalicious)

3. Oh yeah, BTW:



laurab1 is love.

4. I am immensely proud to announce this: tw_itallchanges. Check it out, friends it, and then read along. The episodes are OUTSTANDING, and the construction of the entire season is amazing. I have an ep in here, co-written with mah fishpony, cruentum. Don't worry, we don't use any non-famous significant others. :P I think there might be puke, though.

5. lefaym asked me 5 questions. ( They are all about Tor--no wait, they are not. )

I suppose if you're dying to have me ask you questions, you can respond to this meme with a quote like, "NOT IN THE FACE! THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!" AND I'LL ASK YOU 5. But I might have company, so I email fu will be weak, like Dumbledore after he drank all that manky water in HBP. Then he fell off that tower (SNAPE DID NOT KILL HIM! HAN SHOT FIRST!), and then everyone did that 21 wand salute into the sky or something. I forget. For me the pain is not very near, or some shit. Wow, four pop culture refs I one paragraph. I must be slipping.

Come on, if I referenced "Play Misty For Me", would any of you get it?

6. On my recommendation, cruentum watched Logan's Run. Something about this makes me lol. I also lol that he didn't email me afterwards and demand those two hours of his life back. Owaite, lemme get my TARDIS and we'll refund that to store credit. Haahahahahaha IF YOU SEE ANYTHING CALLED CAROUSEL, RUN, CRUE! YOUR HAND CLOCK IS FLASHING!

1. Sometimes when your kid is doing an overnighter at her grandparents, you go to bed at 3 and wake up at 2:43. And then IT IS TIME FOR BIB FORTUNA.



2. So I dredged up some old issues that I have with fandom last night and they made me depressed and worried. Why do I do that to myself? Bah.

3. Then I had a dream that I was trying to...save some of my old CDs or something, and someone told me that what I was doing wouldn't preserve them, and I scoffed at them, and then I ended breaking them, and I should have fit them back together, but they had cooled like bent shrinkydinks in addition to being broken. I cannot help but worry that my brain is telling me something about what dredges up number 2. Hrm.

4. Hair: cut thyself. Accio haircut. Hrm.

5. Snow. Uh huh.

6. So a lot of you read the RPF yesterday, and a lot of you commented, which is awesome. There was some general…amusement and also wondering what the subjects themselves thought (and genuine concern that they were aware of this). So I'll inform the worried that yes, they saw it before you did, in a locked post right below yours, in which we had a discussion about what it was like. I have been told that I can share what they had to say (edited to cut certain things that are too personal for you. sorry! :P)

( Nick, Amanda and Carolyn have thinky thoughts. )

Jeffrey Jones: ...Well. There you have it.

*Emperoresque flounce*

1. My pierogie class for tomorrow was canceled, due to lack of interest. I feel sad inside. Meh. That's okay though, because my mom is taking the kid tonight. Like taking her and she is spending the night!

2. Also I had this dream last night that my butterscotch pudding (which I made and put in the fridge last night) looked like translucent butterscotch pudding, and when I tasted it, it was just orange jello. I kept stirring it and digging to the bottom because I thought maybe the "flavah" had sunk down to the bottom, but alas.

Somehow that led to me, in the dream, going to an academic convention with a bunch of very smart people who had Opinions on Harry Potter, daleks and…something, but when we all sat down to the opening get-together in an auditorium, the speaker at the lectern said, "Hello and welcome" and we all clapped and no one stayed for the rest of it. I guess intellectuals don't have to stay at the opening ceremonies because it's not nerdy enough.

Keep in mind that I NEVER go to the opening thing to begin with, usually because I'm wasted somewhere.

BUT BUT BUT, I don't remember much, aside from some creepy Asian dude who didn't think I deserved to be there, because I wasn't a grad student at MIT (LOOK MAN IT'S A CONFERENCE ABOUT HARRY POTTER AND DALEKS. THE AUDIENCE CHAMBER LOOKS LIKE THE SET OF JEOPARDY, ASSWIPE.). I woke up with this overwhelming idea that I should write a Hermione/Snape in which Sirius comes back from beyond the Veil with a pile of bloody coins, and then there's hurt/comfort and then eventually polyamory.

I'd like to point out that I have never. Ever. Ever written Sirius. EVER. In all my fics, he's dead, even the AUs. But even as I sit here, I think of a load of pennies turned red with blood and I think, "This is a great idea." Then I make funny jokes about the CoinStar machine.

3. I DID A STRANGE, STRANGE THING LAST NIGHT, and I want to share it with you, and maybe someday I will be allowed to.

4. My Chinese New Year shopping list is still unstarted. I have to get off my arse.

5. My kid just ate a cheerio off the floor. I hope that was from this morning. Okay so I find that I treat most things in this world like the emperor in Amadeus at 3:34 of this scene:



6. I started my last haiti fic in my head last night and it is awesome. Also, the VS episode is done and secret project one is close to being done, which just leaves secret project 2 and the bodyswap, on which I made a plotting breakthrough. If all goes well, I should be done with all this by the end of the month.

Hi all! Okay so cruentum and I want to host an RPF version of 51stcenturyfox's porn battles, and we would like your input.

First, lemme post our rules, so that you get a basic idea of how it works:

1. At this point, this BATTLETHINGBAZAAR is Torchwood/Doctor Who centred. At least one of the individuals in your story/stories should be associated with either show. "Crossovers" are fine.
2. Stories may be RPF or RPS and may contain some or no sexual content.
3. The idea is to write comment-sized stories. Story length of 1 to 4 comments is fine (that's 0 - ca 2500 words). Alternatively, post the story to your LJ and link it here.
4. When posting, please use the subject line to indicate who the story involves (individuals' names or pairings) and if the story contains explicit sexual content or not.
5. WIP snippets are fine, but the story shouldn't be published earlier.
6. Anon commenting is turned on, IP logging is off
7. No bashing, no nastiness. Let's try to keep the themes and vibes of this positive (trusting your judgment here)
8. Pairing individuals with significant others is fine (for example, John/Scott). Pairing individuals with significant others that are not their own is fine (for example, Burn/Gemma). Making up individuals (ie. fans as long as not identifiable as a specific person in fandom) to pair them with someone is fine (for example, Naoko/fan).

So, with that in mind, we have a poll. Two, actually. If you are interested in reading/writing for the event, please take it and comment if you want:

[Poll #1516609]

Thanks everyone. I'll keep this open for about five days from the time the announcement pimping it gets to the tw_rpf comm. [POLL WILL CLOSE ON FEB NINTH.]

Title: Little Merry Lies
Author: amand_r
Fandom: RPS
Characters: Scott/John
Rating: PG. Language!
Wordcount: 1,600
Author's Notes: for cruentum for the holidays. ♥ xiao di di. Thanks to 51stcenturyfox for the beta tinsel!
Summary: It's one of those things, an accident, really, that became a lie, and then the lie became too difficult to back out of.

( Little Merry Lies )