amand_r

Sorry for the late creation! I AM WORKING INSANE.

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/hlh2020

Me: So, are you going to write a letter to Santa?
Viv: Yeah!
Me: What are you going to ask him for? (As Amand-r has no idea what to get Viv for Crimmas)
Viv: A Leapster, ballet shoes, and Piglet.
(This is a problem, as she was getting the Leapster2 for her birthday, and Mum has already got her the ballet shoes and piglet doll)
Me: What else would you like to ask for?
Viv: Hmmmm, nothing.
Me: You don't want anything else?
Viv: Mmmm, no thank you.
Me: ♥ ♥ But what if Santa calls me and says, ″Viola's been so good this year, I want to get her something else"? What else might you want?
Viv: (long-suffering sigh) Let me think about it.


″Do You Hear What I Hear?″ comes on the radio.
Viv: This isn't a Christmas song!
Me: Yes it is.
Viv: It has to say, ″Santa″.
Me: Not all Christmas songs are about Santa. Some of them are about the baby Jesus, because Christmas is his birthday.
Viv: Oh.
Me: So you have Santa songs, and baby Jesus songs.
″Let It Snow″ comes on.
Viv: Is this about baby Jesus or Santa?
Me: Uh. Santa.
″Jingle Bells″ comes on.
Viv: Is this about Santa? Or baby Jesus?
Me: I have discovered a loophole in my theory.
Viv: What?
Me: Santa.


″Carol of the Bells″ comes on.
Viv: DING FRIES ARE DONE! DING FRIES ARE DONE!
Me: I love you.
Viv: WOULD YOU LIKE AN APPLE PIE WITH THAT?


Viv: I'll give you a John Reindeer sticker.
Me: What?
Viv: (slaps a tractor sticker on my arm) Here.
Me: That's John Deere.


Viv: Holy whack-a-moley!
Me: I think they're saying, ″Holy Guacamole″.
Viv: No they're not.
Me: Okay.

THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE BEST THING OF THE MONTH. I WILL NEVER GET ENOUGH DARTH VADER PLAYING THE ACCORDION.

kel_reiley reminded me of this post, in which we all shared holiday drink recipes! There was one called TIGER BLOOD. TIGER. BLOOD. AWWWWWW YEAH.

IF YOU HAVE ANY DRINKS TO SHARE FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON, PLACE THEM HERE. I SUBMIT--

THE LELAND PALMER

1/2 C HONEY
1/2 C WATER
3 C CHILLED JASMINE TEA
3/4 C GIN
3/4 C LIMONCELLO
3/4 C FRESH LEMON JUICE
1/2 C GRAPEFRUIT JICE
1 C CHILLED CLUB SODA

Stir honey in hot water. Cool. Mix everything. DRINK.

THE ONE-ARMED MAN: ADD LIMONCELLO TO GRAPEFRUIT JUICE OR GRAPEFRUIT SODA.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE, PEOPLES?

And if you are so inclined, this is what I brewed this season:

CRANBERRY LIQUEUR

Combine 2 c water and 1 c sugar in saucepan. cook over medium high heat 5 minutes or until sugar dissolves, stirring constantly. Remove and cool completely.

Food process cranberries until chopped. Combine sugar mix and cranberries in a bowl. Then add 3 c vodka. Jar and secure in cool dark place for 3 weeks, turning routinely.

Strain. Place 1 c sugar and 2 c water in pan and bring to simmer until clear. Add whole allspice, cinnamon sticks, pink peppercorns, cloves and anything else whole you think would rock ass. boil down to 1 cup. Cool, then add to jars and let sit for a millionty years. Strain. Add plain vodka to mellow if necessary. Bottle and give away.

I was told this was great mixed with chilled club soda.

Savoury Cookie Snackboxes



I couldn't help myself—I made savoury cookies. If I have been reading right, they're the trend of 2012. Woo!

There are three kinds—Dried Tomato Biscotti, Parmesan Shortbread Rounds, and Pepperoni Biscotti. The dried tomato biscotti are the most biscotti-like. The pepperoni biscotti are rich with pepperoni onion, sweet red pepper and parsley, so their dough is less crunchy. The shortbread rounds have an intense cheesy smell, and are peppered with cayenne and fresh chives. Holy crap, they are good!

There is a fourth cookie—the red pepper cheddar wafers. I'm not that happy with them, but they are spicy and rather crunchy, so they are the added bonus.

Every one of these has a little bit of heat in them, except for the dried tomato biscotti, which are sweeter.

When you order a snackbox, you receive an assortment of the three cookies, and a bonus number of the cheddar red paper wafers. Also included is a recipe for biscotti butter for some dipping.

Parmesan Shortbread Rounds
Ingredients: butter, Parmesan cheese, flour, paprika, cayenne, chopped walnuts, chives

Dried Tomato Biscotti
Ingredients: butter, brown sugar, Parmesan, baking powder, salt, cayenne, black pepper, eggs, sun-dried tomatoes

Cheddar Red Pepper Wafers
Ingredients: flour, sesame seeds, sharp cheddar, brown sugar, cayenne, baking powder, salt, butter, egg

Pepperoni Biscotti
Ingredients: butter, Parmesan, sugar, garlic, baking powder, Italian seasoning, egg, milk, flour, pepperoni, sweet red pepper, onion, flat-leaf parsley

Price: $8/snackbox
Available: 4



PAYMENT: If you want something, comment here! Then when I give the okay, paypal the fundage to amandr at gmail dot com.

UNTIL NOW.

In other news, I was thinking about how I would never throw Viv a quincenera or sweet sixteen party because I don't believe in them, and then I thought, "well, I guess I would throw her a party when she gets into college."

INTERNAL TIANYU: Ah, Azn quincenera.
ME: (coffee everywhere)

Glazed Pumpkin Spice Bread



I wasn't going to make this many, but the recipe was supposed to make 3 7x3 loaves. So I just went with it. Each mini loaf is about 5x3x2, and as the recipe told me, it's better after a few days, when it's had time to itself to think and reach nirvana. The glaze was a made up thing I cobbled together with cinnamon, sugar, allspice and eggnog. Yes, eggnog.

Ingredients: BREAD: pumpkin (fresh, not canned), butter, eggs, sugar, water, flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger; GLAZE: confectioner's sugar, butter, egg nog, vanilla, cinnamon, allspice.
Price: $6/loaf—Eastern, $7/Pacific
Available: 2

PAYMENT: If you want something, comment here! Then when I give the okay, paypal the fundage to amandr at gmail dot com.

Me: (as we are discussing the Mayflower) Do you know why the Pilgrims left their home and came here?
Viv: No.
Me: (sifting through all the complicated answers and finding one she'll get) Because the people at their old home didn't like them. So they decided to go somewhere else.
Viv: Oh!
Me: Yeah, and then they came here. And...(trying to find a good answer that doesn't involve either Indian/Pilgrim love or smallpox and oppression) They got here and had a hard time, but when things got better they sat down and had a big feast to celebrate what they were thankful for.
Viv: O_o.
Me: I know. It's like, when you're thankful for something, that means you are glad that you have it. Like I am thankful for you.
Viv: Oh! Yeah!
Me: Is there anything you're thankful for?
Viv: Oranges.
Me: ...you mean like the oranges we have at home? To eat?
Viv: Yup.
Me: Is there anything else you're thankful for?
Viv: ...the color orange.
Me: ...okay. Well, I'm thankful for YOU. Is there ANYTHING else you're thankful for?
Viv: ...hm. Rainbows.
Me: Rainbows.
Viv: Yeah!

From Cracked:

The PC game Sherlock Holmes: Nemesis (or Sherlock Holmes versus Arsene Lupin outside the U.S.) attempts to recreate the classic Holmes/Watson dynamic by letting you play as both characters. You control Holmes most of the time (from a first person perspective), but the programmers made sure that your loyal friend Watson is always close by so you can switch off to him if necessary.

Apparently they forgot one little detail, though: Creating the "walking" animations for Watson. As in, showing him actually move from one place to the other. The unintended result was that Watson ended up looking like the creepiest character in the history of video games.



from here.