amand_r: (the asian persuasion)
Hello all, it's been a while, so I shall UPDATE BY NUMBERS.

1. Cookies have been awesome. I am taking a break. I have many new things that I want to try, but they aren't going to ship well in this heat. That said, if you ever want some cookies, feel free to drop me a line. I am now making shit on demand. Except the chocolate caramel shortbread. They are a pain in the ass.

2. Kidlet is done with preschool! Well, for this year at least. I have embarrassing video, but I am too lazy to upload it.

3. My computer died recently! It was horrible. I was trying to log on, and it kept telling me my user profile couldn't load properly. After shedding bitter tears, I managed to save all my files from safe mode onto an external drive, and then I had to reinstall the OS from factory settings. Strange how everything runs now. On the other hand, there's something cleansing about getting a fresh start.

4. I have been reading a great deal. You can find my reading on Goodreads. Right now I'm reading about the monster of Florence.

5. I MADE PASTA FROM SCRATCH. IT WAS AWESOME.

6. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS AWESOME? HOT DOGS.

7. Here is the story of how I am bitter:

One day I started watching Wire in the Blood. I watched 2 eps and then forgot. Then a month later I was all, “I should check out Wire in the Blood”, and lo, I already had. I resumed my watching. BY THE WAY the special with Tony in Texas was the best thing ever. I lolled so hard. Anyway, I got to the end of season 6 when [spoiler] and it ends with [spoiler] and Then I click ed the “Next” button on the Netflix streaming screen.

Nothing happened. I looked and saw they only had up to season six. Never mind, I will download the torrent somewhere.

That's right, in my head I had convinced myself that there are 8 seasons.

Oh wait, no, that's Waking the Dead.

It became increasingly difficult to locate the season seven torrent No one had it. I was going to do a shot out to my flist. Then I decided to see when it was released. So I checked wikipedia.

Boy, am I bitter. WHAT A FUCKING WAY TO END. NOT TWIN PEAKS EPIC, BUT JESUS.

8. I read the new Sookie Stackhouse. Yeah.

9. I had so many things to say! I have no idea where they went.

10. Lastly, I have a novella/thing coming out in October, and the publisher, Candlemark and Gleam was nice enough to send me promo postcard things to distribute. I was thinking of handwriting some short short stories and offering to send them to people for postage. Would anyone be interested? Want one? I guess if you sent me five bucks, I could send you the card and a half a dozen cookies. Or something.

Postage has gone up package wise, by the way. That's how they get ya.

Off to read more about excising vaginas.
amand_r: (torchwood/ianto will fuck your shit up)
Title: Buy My Fucking Cookies
Fandom: Mander fandom
Characters: Mander, Vstroyer, You, eBay, THE DAMN ASSHOLE WOT OUTBID ME, cookies, the computer
Rating: W for WOE and C for COOKIE (it's good enough for me)
Wordcount: 1000
Author's Notes: I am totes not joking. Warning for butter.
Summary: I HAVE A STORY OF DEFEAT AND TRIUMPH TO TELL.

She was a baker desperately trying to lose weight. And desperately trying to buy DVDs. )
amand_r: (tw/ianto hello!)
1.



2. CANT. STOP. LAUGHING.

3. BUTT.

4. WRITING RCBW STOP SUCKING ASS STOP NOT YOUR ASS STOP YOUR MOM'S STOP HA HA I JUST MADE A YOUR MOM JOKE IN A TELEGRAM STOP EXCEPT THIS ISN'T A TELEGRAM SEMICOLON IT'S A POST ON THE INTERNET STOP I GUESS THESE SHOULD BE CLOSE TAGS OR SOMETHING STOP IS THAT TOO META QUESTION MARK STOP I DUNNO I'M JUST SAYING I HAVE BEEN WATCHING A LOT OF FAMILY GUY STOP WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT QUESTION MARK STOP OH YEAH I'M WRITING AND IT'S NOT GOING WELL STOP MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH TRYING TO WRITE ANGST WHILST HAVING A HEAD FULL OF AN INFANT SAYING 'WHAT THE DEUCE' QUESTION MARK STOP AND AN ALCOHOLIC DOG WHO SINGS SHOWTUNES STOP.

5. I have one sentence of wholas. One. It's four lines long. Wharton, you say? You will recognise my story this week because it will be the only one that, whilst you read it, in your head it's narrated by Joanne Woodward.
amand_r: (spartans dine)

"MOMMY DON'T GO TO THE BEER FESTIVAL WAH."

I wanna write this up, but I have so much to do that I really cannot spare the time, so here's a half-assed entry.

THE BIG POUR NUMBER 4 )

By: Amanda
Grade 4
amand_r: (YOUR MOM)
I HAD SEX WITH GARETH DAVID LLOYD ON A SINK AT DRAGON*CON AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY MANICURE:



Yes, this sums up my whole D*C experience nicely. )

That was my big fat D*C exp. Seriously, few panels, lots of booze, tonnes of food, great people, EXCELLENT CONVERSATIONS, and a renewed sense of writing. I WILL WRITE THAT FPREG. IT WILL BE AWESOME.

OH AND I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A SEASON TO AIR THIS FALL.

Oh, and Jack and Ianto's post-it D*C adventure )

BUT FOR NOW, my dad is out of surgery, and I'm waiting to hear how he is, and I have plans to make biscotti with cabernet cocoa powder, and possibly some cupcakes.

I dreamt about biscotti last night.

I made a list of shit to do divided by pages: on page per category, house, work, online, general, errands, etc. IT'S NINE PAGES LONG.

See ya'll on the flip side.

EDIT: I bought their Netherworld Blend and the Reanimator Blend. The latter is great. Haven't tasted the firmer. Go there and browse the teas and coffees.
amand_r: (COFFEE)
I SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. NOT ONLY THAT BUT I WOKE UP AT 8:30 TURNED OVER AND WENT BACK TO SLEEP UNTIL 11 AM.

WHAT CAUSED THIS MINOR MIRACLE? BITE GUARD.

IT IS CONCLUSIVE. GRINDING MY TEETH WAKES ME UP AT 2, 4 AND 6 AM. BASTARDS.

BUT BUT BUT BIB IF THIS MATTERS. NOT ON REX MANNING BACON DAY.

Because [livejournal.com profile] emquilxy beats me every time at the gift giving game. LOOK AT ALL THE BACON:



MORE BACON THAN YOU CAN HANDLE UNDER THE CUT. )

I'm off to read more wholas. And weep.
amand_r: (tw/ianto makes my ass look great)
1. GAH.

ME: Blah blah blah.
THERAPIST: Blah blah BLAH blah. ::eyebrows::
ME: Blah Blah. ::wavey hands::
THERAPIST: AH HAH. THERE IT IS!
ME: Whut?
THERAPIST: There's your problem! Your issue!
ME: ::smacks head:: GODDAMMIT.
THERAPIST: Ha ha ha! Found it! NOW YOUR REAL THERAPY CAN BEGIN.
ME: SHITBEARS!
THERAPIST: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE IT.
ME: SHUT UP, RAFIKI.
THERAPIST: Same time next week?
ME: Yes please.


2. MBABB IS AT 137,350. That sounds impressive until you realise that on 6/27 I had 125,242, so this month I have only done 12,108 on it. SHITBEARS.

3. I'm going to start taking my prozac at night and see if that doesn't cure my exhaustion during the day.

4. Because I can't leave well enough alone, the current ep I'm working on:

They both jumped into the SUV and Maggie started the car, turning the heater on full blast. It hadn't been off long enough to have completely cooled down and the warmth spread across Lois's hose-covered legs. Bliss.

"Lo," Maggie said, tucking the tickets into the sun visor, "please tell me you packed denims or some other heavy work trousers."

Lois shrugged. "I have slacks and a pair of coveralls."

Maggie sighed. "Okay, we have a little bit of time, and the Quay is open." She pointed to the hulking shopping arena that boasted hundreds of outlet stores. "Lois Habiba, you need to dress for a mess."

"Dress for a mess," Lois deadpanned as she pulled her shit coffee from the cup-holder and took a sip. Absence did not make the tongue grow fonder. Maggie started the SUV and pulled out of the Wightlink lot.

"I bet they have a Starbucks," Maggie sang.

Lois gestured at the windshield with the cup. "Sally forth, my good woman."


That is all.

ETA: IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.
amand_r: (Default)
The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request ~something~ of any pairing/character of their choosing from me. In return, they have to post this in their journal. If you absolutely can't write, you can offer drawings or icons or something instead (meta? picspams? reasons why that character/pairing rocks/doesn't rock?).

They will be fics. They have to fit in the comments to this post, man. You don't have to repost to request. Any of my listed fandoms. Awwww yeah.
amand_r: (Default)
Last week I went to the Urgent care because my throat was sore on one side to the point where my neck was sore. The doctor gave me a Z-pak and some magic swizzle, which didn't work because my throat is sore on the outside. The antibiotic, however, worked like a charm and in 2 days I was feeling better. I finished the Z-pak Saturday and all was well.

EXCEPT.

Everything came raging back Monday night. I was due to see my doctor Wednesday, so I held on, and now, I'm still recovering. He gave me a scrip for another antibiotic that is a ten day one. Something about Z-paks not working sometimes due to their brevity. Lovely waste of money, that was.

Anyway, I am tired and sick and I haven't written in 2 weeks because I just haven't felt well enough. well there was that one story. Anyway, I feel...

I dunno if there's a point to writing any more fanfic, actually. That's how I feel. I dunno. I'm writing some and..anyway, whatevs, I feel bad because my betas have been all over it and I feel like they wasted their time. I dunno if I have anything else to say.

Maybe I'm just sick and tired of being sick. And tired.
amand_r: (VSTROYER OF WORLDS)
WORK:
--This week three stories will go out.
--Three more will be done, but I might have to set one of them aside.
--I have to start a set of three. I seem to work best in threes.
--Am getting ready to work on the novel again. The werewolf one. Not the porn. I think I might self publish it. For shits and giggles. No one wants this books, I guarantee.

FANNISH:
--Working on episode 6/14. Total word count: 125,242. It's brilliant, I think. But by the time I'm ready to show it, you will all have forgot me. (insert woe is me).
--Have been doing WIAD, but I feel uninspired and hackneyed. Might just stop now.
--Have a rec list I am compiling, but feel blah about it.

HEALTH:
--Cannot seem to lose weight. Working on it.
--Upped the melatonin back to 3 mg after 1.5 woke me at 4 am repeatedly.
--I hate iron pills. I hate Benefiber. I hate Colace.

READING:
--Finished all of LKH's Anita Blake. Skin Trade wasn't as bad as I remember it being. PLOT. Gratuitous cumshot at the end, though. It was so crass I almost have to give LKH props for putting a pearl necklace in a mainstream book.
--Working on the new Star Wars.
--Stalled on "The Stranger".
--Stalled on Sloane Crosley's "I was Told There Would Be Cake"

KIDLET:
--Potty trained. Did I mention that?
--Also:



THIS ENTRY BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE 'IT'S TOO HOT TO BE OUTSIDE BAH' COMMITTEE.
amand_r: (Default)
today that weren't really that big a deal in an of themselves, but served to make me feel meh about today:

1. Some fandom shit I shouldn't have read. I need to use my filter, otherwise I just get agitated.

2. My doctor's office called and they want to do more blood tests. Apparently, I am anemic. Orly.

3. I sold a whole box of books at Half Price for 5.50. Usually I get about 20 bucks, and I know it's all subjective and shit, and the guy was like, "Well, we have a huge backlog", and also hey, free money, gift horse, me. It was still less than I expected. Likewise at Once Upon a Child, where I got 11 bucks. Still, I don't really know why I should be bitching about this, but something in me was disappointed. They never offer me less than 20 bucks.

4. I'm not going to be finished with the MBABB by August 30. I'm at 111,149, and I'm just about to finish part 5/14. This does not bode well (only 10K of that is forward writing). I don't know what I'll do about it. People don't want to read a WIP, but I don't know if I can not start posting it then. Because so much of it will be done. And they're episodes, so they're encapsulated.

5. My insurance company sent my monthly bill, and there's a note at the bottom saying, "Highmark has submitted a filing to the PA Insurance Department requesting a rate increase." I don't know what that means. It could be routine, insurance premiums go up every tear, it feels like, but this time I just read that horribly.

6. I just keep focusing on all the bad things. None of these things is bad in and of themselves, but they just added up to create a spiral of thinking in my skull.
amand_r: (the server is robust)
I don't think it's news to anyone that I'm an up and down person. I have mood swings, and until recently I have always gone with the flow. Back in February the anger end of those issues started to hinder relationships, so I tried to locate causes and tracking on a calendar, and lo and behold they were cyclical, like another cycle I have, go fig. Knowing that it was "that time of the month" for my anger issues had helped me to control that. That's fine.

Here's where everything went pear shaped. )
amand_r: (obligatory serious icon)
The thing is, given any current time you are bound to feel certain ways, and even though you feel that way now, you won't feel that way forever. So when I say all of these things, I already know that I might feel differently later. I'm always surprised at the number of people who feel the need to tell you that you won't feel a certain way forever, that things will pass. That's never helpful for me. It just makes me feel like they think I'm a moron. Though to be fair, it's one of those things to say when you don't know what to say, so it's not like it's horribly offensive to hear, so we should all feel free to keep on saying it. It's okay. So, in full cognizance that I am not feeling very well, I say the following things: )
amand_r: (doctor who/HARRIET JONES)
The point was that I needed a deadline and people to force me to meet it. There were no convenient fests, so here we are.

RULES:

1. So it's basically us all forcing ourselves to do this.
2. Minimum is 10K.
3. You have to include messy sandwiches, which can be a one liner, a whole scene full of them, a partial scene, or as my mother brought up, a messy sex sandwich, if you are so inclined. Thank you, Mum.
4. Posting starts on Sept 15. My goal is to all but done by Aug 30.

SO FAR:

[livejournal.com profile] amand_r: Torchwood, season 4
[livejournal.com profile] paragraphs: You've Got Mail with aliens!
[livejournal.com profile] topgeargirl2: A dark story from Jack's past
[livejournal.com profile] cruentum: Torchwood Finds Nemo. No, really.
[livejournal.com profile] valancy_joy: 1980s Jack off the rails in NYC (Beauty and the Beast crossover!)
[livejournal.com profile] blue_fjords: The Sequel to my Supernatural AU that I haven't even finished writing yet!
[livejournal.com profile] solsticezero: Ianto Jones aboard the Starship UK
[livejournal.com profile] misswinterhill: Whoniverse Adventure/Romance/Humour/Angst WITH Jack/Alonso, Eleventh Doctor, Amy, Face of Boe
[livejournal.com profile] wynkat1313: Torchwood and the Tree of Life
[livejournal.com profile] neifile7: Jackstory as The Odyssey.
[livejournal.com profile] wildeagain: Jack Harkness and Ludwig Wittgenstien
[livejournal.com profile] pocky_slash: A totally self-indulgent, completely AU Not!OT3 that ends in kidfic

Have one? Link me!
amand_r: (tw/jack licks eleven)
1. So last night I'm writing a check to the cemetery to put a summer box of flowers at Tianyu's grave, and they ask for the location, and I don't know what the fuck that is. I'll have to dig it out. But I'm sitting there filling out the rest of the goddamn form, and I find myself crying and apologising to Tianyu, and I don't even know what the fuck for. For the flowers, maybe. That that's all I can give him now, maybe. That I rarely go there. I can't look at it. I don't know what to say to it. It's just kind of there. That stone isn't for me. I would have cremated him and sent his ashes to George Takei to dispose of as he saw fit. Or Christopher Lambert. NO NO. JET LI.

Dear Mister Li:

Enclosed is your future.

Sincerely,

Yul Brynner's Rotting Corpse



2. ENOUGH OF THAT BULLSHIT. DON'T ASK ME TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU, WARREN.

(NSFW)



I missed you, threebrain.

3. apparently Scott Baio just went insane, which I am surprised at, because really, Goats has been making fun of Scott for a while.

You know what I'd like to see? Certain celebs given a twitter and free time to use it and get all wrapped up in it, so that we can see the meltdowns we really deserve. Candidates are: Mel Gibson, Debbie Gibson, Naomi Campbell (we might have to supply additional phones), Kirk Cameron PLEASE GOD KIRK CAMERON. Maybe the youngest kid from Hanson.

4. How a shark gets ready.

5. Lastly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa's 1993 masterpiece, "None Of Your Business":

I never put my nose where I'm not supposed to,
Believe me, if he's something that I want, I'm steppin' closer,
I'm not one for playing high-pole
Like the house of ditty 90210 type of ho.
I treat a man like he treats me;
The difference between a hooker and a ho ain't nothin' but a fee.


I feel as if I have been enlightened. I'd also like to mention:

So, yo, so, yo, ho - check it, double deck it on a record butt-naked, but you really have to listen to it: at 2:36

It's also worth it to note that dating the song in the text of the song does not do the song any favours, except that I think that it's charming in a way (1:20). Also, let's give the ladies props for putting a same sex couple in a video back in 1993 (3:14), nicely placed during the line about how no one has the right to judge others. I know it feels like a pittance, but one thing I always admired about SnP was that they were always open minded and fairly liberated in some ways. (Heaven and Hell passes the Bechdel test in a time when most songs were about relationships. The last track on the album is a short skit about HIV from an inner city improv group).

SO, YO, SO YO HO.

Bonus! )
amand_r: (waaaaaaaa)
1. FUCKING SHARK HELL WEEK, DAY THREE: Not really pissed. More like, resigned to futility. LOL. I said it aloud—LOL. YAY!

2. Pondering how some OTC medicines for already embarrassing ailments have even more embarrassing names: Beano, Gas-X, Preparation H (which I guess is not embarrassing unless you know what it is for).

Me: Me, seriously, who likes taking PREPARATION H to the checkout aisle?
Mum: Well, there's always Anusol, that's not embar…oh wait.
Me: THAT WILL NEVER STOP BEING FUNNY.

3. Got a statement for a dental visit from a year ago from my old insurance company this weekend. Read THIS IS NOT A BILL and shrugged. Then today got a bill from my dentist saying "Sorry this is late! We just got the thing from the insurance company! LOL!" for $82. While I am told this might violate HIPPA laws, I'm just going to pay it. Still, just another reminder of the grinding wheels of humanity.

4. I'm still tired.

The rest under a cut: Dexter, writing fanfiction, why continuity errors doesn't bother me, crack, random shoes, disabling comments, when you fall out of love with fandom, and mutual fic masturbation. Oh, and Catherine Parr. And poop. )

That's it. Someone get me a fucking bear claw.
amand_r: (jaws/imma eat y'all)
1. Still pissed about everything. Hrm.

2. Morning emails have revealed that partial pissiness is not unjustified. This is enlightening.

3. Was thinking of cleaning the house today. Sounds good. I am dismantling my dining room work station and relegating the computer to the recreational slot of "coffee table." Hopefully this will convince me that it is not as important as I have made it. I don't need a desk. I don't have a job. I need a dining room table.

4. I had big long post about hip-hop, but you people don't find the same things funny that I do, and so this is how the comments would unfold. )

Also, I cleaned up my flist. Nothing personal, just different reading habits and a few dead ljs.
amand_r: (Default)
I take back all the mocking I did. I have never seen it like this. If you live in a place that get a lot of snow, feel free to mock me, but I just wasn't prepared for:

SNOWPOCALYPSE 2010

1. Lost power (re: heat) at 2 am. Ate the kid for warmth.

2. I kid, we did that huddle for warmth thing.

3. Discovered all coffee was unground. Used mortar and pestle.

4. No method of heating water. Did you know that when water is hot enough to burn you in the shower, it is still not hot enough for coffee?

5. Drank coffee anyway.

6. Went outside. Pics included! )

7. Went inside, peeled off clothes (PLUS: I have lost so much weight that I was able to wear my fleece pyjamapants under my old size 14 jeans. MINUS: COLD)

8. After lunch. POWER RETURNS! HUZZAH! COFFEE FIRST, CHARGE CELL, RUN DISHWASHER.
amand_r: (drwho/daleks!)
1. Happy Birthday, Lord Byron. I still hate your fucking poetry but want to be your drinking buddy.

2. My kid has discovered the miracle that is Disney Princess SpaghettiOs with meatballs whereas mommy feels like her childhood has been whupped upside the head with a cricket bat.

3. "At the age of 22 Conan applied for a job at Mrs. Fields, but sadly never received a call back," John Lauck, President of Mrs. Fields, tells the Daily News. "We want to officially call you back, and make amends for what we now know was a huge oversight in talent recruitment." OH I LOVE YOU.

BORDERS! I APPLIED FOR A JOB IN 2006! AND 2003! CALL ME! (omg what is wrong with me that you don't want me? Is my hair too natural looking? I CAN CHANGE! MY LIFE FOR YOU! MY LI—WELL NO, BUT—WELL, YEAH, IF YOU ESSENTIALLY CONSIDER THAT I AM OFFERING HOURS OF MY LIFE TO WORK IN YOUR STORE IN EXCHANGE FOR MONEY, I LITERALLY AM TRADING MY LIFE FOR MONEY. HIRE ME! I CAN INDEX AND COLOUR CODE, USE A STEP STOOL AND LOOK PRETENTIOUS AND BE ABSENT WHEN CUSTOMERS NEED HELP! I COULD DO THAT FOR YOU.)

4. I started using a new conditioner, and I gotta tell you people, it smells fucking fantastic. I don't know that it's any better or worse than what I was using before, conditioner wise, but it SMELLS GREAT. I HAVE BEEN HUFFING MY HAIR ALL DAY.

5. The following conversation also occurred.

Me: Wanna listen to Dream?
Her: No. Sleep!
Me: You want to go to sleep?
Her: Yeaaaaaah.
Me: You never want to go to sleep. What, are you on crack?
Her: Oh yeah, okay crack.
Me: I wasn't offering.

Then she spent fifteen minutes trying to cram the stuffed giraffe into her ski pants. OH I HAVEN'T SHOWED YOU THE GIRAFFE AND HIS CLOTHING ADVENTURES. I have been remiss. )

6. [livejournal.com profile] opium_and_tea I owe you, and it's partially done! I have showed it to peoples! So, soon, but I need to pause-button today to work some shit out in RL. Muther fuckers.

7. mini-meme: Five Favorite Female Characters, because I ain't putting pics up for you: a) Princess Fucking Leia, b) Vanyel's Aunt Savil in the Last Herald Mage books, c) Gwen Cooper, d) Lt. Anita Van Buren on the Original Law and Order, e) Buffy Summers, BONUS: f) Amy Gardner, from the West Wing (possibly also Nancy Botwin, Mary Louise Marker's character from Weeds)

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