amand_r | Entries tagged with and yet we have another problem

I don't think it's news to anyone that I'm an up and down person. I have mood swings, and until recently I have always gone with the flow. Back in February the anger end of those issues started to hinder relationships, so I tried to locate causes and tracking on a calendar, and lo and behold they were cyclical, like another cycle I have, go fig. Knowing that it was "that time of the month" for my anger issues had helped me to control that. That's fine.

( Here's where everything went pear shaped. )

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: sandworms!
Current Music: don't try to figure it out. just go with it.

FIRST:

1. It is the middle of the night, and you wake from a dead sleep because you have to pee. You shuffle to the bathroom and don't even bother turning on the light because you know the way. While there you realise that you have to use feminine protection. You also notice that you run out of loo roll. You unwrap the loo roll and pull the old roll from the spool, and then sit there, half awake, holding the spool in one hand and the new roll in the other.

The spool is, I repeat, the spool is NOT the feminine protection that you have yet to retrieve. No, I stopped myself before it got that far, but I did wonder why it was so big around whilst I held it.

There's a moral (sp—is that spelled right? Moral? Morel? No that's a mushroom. Moral reminds me of sorrel, which always make me think of High Chapparal. Chapparal? Chaparale? Fuck. I'll quit before I start questioning the spelling of "the" and "chair") here, but I don't know who it is.

2. Watching season one of the Tudors again. Why does everyone give each other brooches? From now on, everyone's getting brooches from me.

Side note: OH HAI THAR, EXTREME HOTTNESS THAT IS JOHN RHYS-MYERS' ABS. HOLY FUCK.

3. In cleaning my house, I am stunned by the sheer amount of junk I have, in the form of bits and baubles and things that I cannot simply throw in a box and label. I have baskets and small boxes of little things that I simply don't know what to do with—things I no longer want and haven't needed in the past three years, not enough to unpack them from the basement boxes in which a great deal of them reside. I find myself pitching large quantities of crap. I want to be as light as possible.

Likewise, wow, half-price books, you are awesome.

Additionally, in going through my shelves and boxes of books in the basement, I am slowly filling a box of books marked, simply, "unread". So this year, I shall endeavor to empty that box. It's filled with contemporary novels, non fiction, and a bunch of classic lit I never got to. Like some Dickens and Orczy and even one or two poets whose volumes I purchased and never finished. I would promise not to buy any more books until I finish these, but that is foolhardy and something to which I can never hold myself. So I shan't lie that way. But it's a goal—read more. Read well. Read smartly.

That said, I read the latest Hamilton Merry Gentry book, Divine Misdemeanours. ( Hey, it's in my ereader. OMG SPOILERS )

4. OH HAI. RPF/RPS CARNIVALE THIS WEEKEND. RIGHT THE FUCK IN THIS LJ.

cruentum IS SO EXCITED HE'S ABOUT TO VIBRATE THROUGH THE INTERNETS. THEN HE WILL BE THE GHOST IN THE SHELL, AND HE'LL HAUNT YOUR ISP AND WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING YOUR THESIS, HE'LL REPLACE ALL THE IMAGES AND PIE CHARTS IN THE DOCUMENT WITH PICTURES OF JB'S ASS. YOU MIGHT BE AMUSED. YOUR THESIS ADVISOR AT THE ENTOMOLOGY DEPARTMENT PROBABLY WON'T BE. I think I already addressed this above, but whatevs.

Don't let that happen to you. Write for the Torchwood/Doctor Who RPF Carnivale.

5. So we have a little bit of snow in Pittsburgh this past month. So some mutherfuckers decide it's a great time to do some URBAN SKIING. My favorite is probably the Joe Montana bridge at about 4:00 to the end, and if you watch the credits you not only see some awesome FAIL, but you hear them make fun of Yinzertalk, which is always fun. (h/t

emquilxy)

6. I'm in season two of the Sopranos again. How did I miss this gem? TONY: (frustrated and with finality) Cunnilingus and psychiatry have brought us to this.

Yes. Tony. Yes.

7. My TW season 4 file is corrupted or something, and it was my back up copy. I checked the original and it has no changes since last month. It's like Jesus doesn't want me to write TW anymore. Okay, Jesus.

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: Svalbard
Current Music: mozart, 'soave sil a vento'

1. FUCKING SHARK HELL WEEK, DAY THREE: Not really pissed. More like, resigned to futility. LOL. I said it aloud—LOL. YAY!

2. Pondering how some OTC medicines for already embarrassing ailments have even more embarrassing names: Beano, Gas-X, Preparation H (which I guess is not embarrassing unless you know what it is for).

Me: Me, seriously, who likes taking PREPARATION H to the checkout aisle?
Mum: Well, there's always Anusol, that's not embar…oh wait.
Me: THAT WILL NEVER STOP BEING FUNNY.

3. Got a statement for a dental visit from a year ago from my old insurance company this weekend. Read THIS IS NOT A BILL and shrugged. Then today got a bill from my dentist saying "Sorry this is late! We just got the thing from the insurance company! LOL!" for $82. While I am told this might violate HIPPA laws, I'm just going to pay it. Still, just another reminder of the grinding wheels of humanity.

4. I'm still tired.

( The rest under a cut: Dexter, writing fanfiction, why continuity errors doesn't bother me, crack, random shoes, disabling comments, when you fall out of love with fandom, and mutual fic masturbation. Oh, and Catherine Parr. And poop. )

That's it. Someone get me a fucking bear claw.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: MRS. BUTTERWORTH
Current Music: mulan

i am not signing up for reel_tw again
i am not signing up for reel_tw again
i am not signing up for reel_tw again

BUT BUT BUT:

REAR WINDOW.

REAR. WINDOW.

I am thinking that Ianto would be the obvious choice for Jimmy Stewart's character, but because I like to be contrary, I'd find a way to make it Jack. OR Tosh. Can't you see Tosh flipping her shit over her neighbours while she's laid up?

I can.

OMG. NO.

EDIT: OR OWEN. HOLY SHIT OWEN.

1. My Santa idea is fucking BRILLIANT.

2. ( Anyway, I want to talk about what a douche I am in the matter of talking about fic ideas. )

That said, anyone is free to talk to me about their fic any damn time they want. Any damn time.

3. TOO. MANY. DEADLINES. But still. Good, yeah? A THOUSAND YEARS.

4. That said, the Jaws/Torchwood needs a beta. I will be sending it in chunks (sets of completed chronological scenes) as I finish them. Spag and plot holes. Halp?

5. I want to sell short stories. How do I do this? LOL I kid. No I don’t. For srs, I would research before I asked you dudes. You are busy, and my fingers aren't painted on.

6. I should buy my kid crimmas presents. But I don't know what to get her. Everyone already bought her all the cool stuff.

7. I made cards this year, and you may have already gotten/will be getting one. I made 6 designs total: 5 Torchwood and one custom job. ( So here they all are, so you can see what everyone else got. )

There we go.

Current Mood: ghost-face
Current Location: the slough of despond
Current Music: concrete blonde, 'roxy'

So, yet another story finished. I keep this up, I'll be finished with all my obligations by…next Sunday. BRILLIANT! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

( Let's do the countdown, shall we? )

I feel I have accomplished a lot today and I haven't even slept yet. Sleep gives you cancer, man, everybody knows that.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Location: the luge
Current Music: our lady peace, 'innocent'

Okay, so.

Here's the thing: I don't fantasize. I mean, sexually. I hear lots of people do it, and I fantasize a lot, but it's never really sex. I have about five or so standbys that I use to get to sleep, to entertain myself in the car or whenever I am bored out of my skull. I spend quite a bit of time in these daydreams, but they never really ever get to the sex part. The one time I did actually finish it before I fell asleep, I laid there afterwards and was like, "What do I do now?"

I usually use characters I like. Yeah, that's right: Methos, Jack, Ianto, some others I don't want to get into. The point is, I fantasize in UST and PG-13, and sometimes it's not even sexy at all.

Whatevs. The point is, they're fictional people.

Which I why I was startled and somewhat disturbed to find that last night I fantasized about Tianyu. And not in a sexy way. In a Scrubs-esque "what would have happened if he had been there for Viv's birth" way.

I don't know if this means that I've moved him into the realm of fictional. I don't know how that makes me feel. I never imagined Tianyu in any scenario that occurred after he died because I like to think I have no ides how he'd react. To anything. Imagining it is akin to putting words in his mouth, and I could never do that. So when people say, "Tianyu would have loved this," or "Tianyu would have adored VK" I keep mum because I can't agree. I have no idea what he'd think of his daughter and he's not here to tell me.

So, yeah. I don't know what that means. I can guess, but I don't think I'd like the answer.

Current Mood: blah
Current Location: not a state of grace

I HAVE STORIES!

1. MISSED MY TRAIN! GOT ONE LATER, BUT PAID THROUGH THE NOSE.
2. EVERYTHING HERE IS TINY. I BET WHEN TEXANS COME HERE THEYPASS OUT FROM CLAUSTROPHOBIA.
3. MET

pogrebin AND SHE IS LOVELY! SHE SHOWED ME PUBLIC TOILETS AND I PROMISED THAT I WOULD TWEET HER WHEN THE SINK THING HAPPENS AT HUB.
4. LA CAGE IN HOURS WITH LUCY, CRUE AND BONES!
5. I SAW THINGS! I WALKED THERE! BY MYSELF!
6. PEOPLE THINK I'M SOUTH AFRICAN.
7. THE WATER HERE IS VERY SIFT, AND DESPITE MY CONDITIONER'S BEST EFFORTS, I FEAR THAT I RESEMBLE HERMIONE GRANGER.
8. PEOPLE EAT CONSTANTLY HERE AND YET THEY ARE VERY THIN. PROBABLY HAS TO DO WITH THE WALKING. EVERY WOMAN I PASS HAS POSH BOOTS. EVERYONE HAS A SCARF. PEOPLE, YOU DON'T NEED THE SCARVES! IT IS NOT COLD!
9. HONESTLY, IT IS NOT COLD AT ALL, BUT PEOPLE ARE BUNDLED UP AS IF THE SLED DOGS WILL BE NEEDED AT ANY MINUTE.
10. I WOKE UP AT 7:30 AND COULD NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP. THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW ME UNDERSTAND HOW MOMENTOUS THAT IS. ALSO, AT 12 WHEN I FORCED MYSELF TO GO TO BED, I LAY THERE AND WAS READY TO GET UP. SLEEP IS JUST SOMETHING I MUST DO TO MAKE THE TIME PASS FASTER WHILST I WAIT FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN. HOW INSANE IS THAT?
11. I AM WRITING POETRY AGAIN. I AM SCHWAY. CONVERSELY, I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A LICK OF FANFIC. THIS IS NOT A LOSS.
12. THE POLY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE UP TODAY, BUT SOMETHING ODD HAPPENED IN THE COMM, AND IT LOOKS LIK IT WILL BE THE 28TH. WTF?? I MIGHT JUST POST IT WHENEVER AND SAY NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS.
13. I DON'T MIND THE BUZZCOCKS, ANYWAY.

Current Mood: awake
Current Location: MERRY OLDE ENGLAND
Current Music: NOT THE BUZZCOCKS.