amand_r

Hello all, it's been a while, so I shall UPDATE BY NUMBERS.

1. Cookies have been awesome. I am taking a break. I have many new things that I want to try, but they aren't going to ship well in this heat. That said, if you ever want some cookies, feel free to drop me a line. I am now making shit on demand. Except the chocolate caramel shortbread. They are a pain in the ass.

2. Kidlet is done with preschool! Well, for this year at least. I have embarrassing video, but I am too lazy to upload it.

3. My computer died recently! It was horrible. I was trying to log on, and it kept telling me my user profile couldn't load properly. After shedding bitter tears, I managed to save all my files from safe mode onto an external drive, and then I had to reinstall the OS from factory settings. Strange how everything runs now. On the other hand, there's something cleansing about getting a fresh start.

4. I have been reading a great deal. You can find my reading on Goodreads. Right now I'm reading about the monster of Florence.

5. I MADE PASTA FROM SCRATCH. IT WAS AWESOME.

6. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS AWESOME? HOT DOGS.

7. Here is the story of how I am bitter:

One day I started watching Wire in the Blood. I watched 2 eps and then forgot. Then a month later I was all, “I should check out Wire in the Blood”, and lo, I already had. I resumed my watching. BY THE WAY the special with Tony in Texas was the best thing ever. I lolled so hard. Anyway, I got to the end of season 6 when [spoiler] and it ends with [spoiler] and Then I click ed the “Next” button on the Netflix streaming screen.

Nothing happened. I looked and saw they only had up to season six. Never mind, I will download the torrent somewhere.

That's right, in my head I had convinced myself that there are 8 seasons.

Oh wait, no, that's Waking the Dead.

It became increasingly difficult to locate the season seven torrent No one had it. I was going to do a shot out to my flist. Then I decided to see when it was released. So I checked wikipedia.

Boy, am I bitter. WHAT A FUCKING WAY TO END. NOT TWIN PEAKS EPIC, BUT JESUS.

8. I read the new Sookie Stackhouse. Yeah.

9. I had so many things to say! I have no idea where they went.

10. Lastly, I have a novella/thing coming out in October, and the publisher, Candlemark and Gleam was nice enough to send me promo postcard things to distribute. I was thinking of handwriting some short short stories and offering to send them to people for postage. Would anyone be interested? Want one? I guess if you sent me five bucks, I could send you the card and a half a dozen cookies. Or something.

Postage has gone up package wise, by the way. That's how they get ya.

Off to read more about excising vaginas.

**IN THE FRENCH: "IN SEARCH OF LOST GLUTEN-FREE BAKED GOODS"

Okay, so I'm supposed to be doing Nano, and I SWEAR I WILL MAKE IT UP (aka Famous Last Words, copywrite the universe and MCR) but failing that, I do have evidence what I have been doing the last two days (four days, whatever).

( I am virtually incapable of even typing a journal report. For srs. )

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

I don't think it's news to anyone that I'm an up and down person. I have mood swings, and until recently I have always gone with the flow. Back in February the anger end of those issues started to hinder relationships, so I tried to locate causes and tracking on a calendar, and lo and behold they were cyclical, like another cycle I have, go fig. Knowing that it was "that time of the month" for my anger issues had helped me to control that. That's fine.

( Here's where everything went pear shaped. )

Update in haiku:

the plow clears the road
oily mountains block my car
you son of a bitch

an old joke is new:
the loo roll is empty, woe--
the snow falls in droves

I got fried rice, peoples.

( A brief WWI Jackobite article from Military History. )

Do you ever want to google a pic and find, well fuck, you can't google images? I was looking at a person in someone's icon today and I was like, "Who is that? I'll google it! No wait, what do I type? 'black and white photo, white male, old picture, finger on face'?" Durrrrrrr.

ETA: A werewolf falling in love with a baby. This is why Thomas Edison invented this shit in the first place. So we could see a werewolf fall in love with a baby.

Amen.

So, yet another story finished. I keep this up, I'll be finished with all my obligations by…next Sunday. BRILLIANT! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

( Let's do the countdown, shall we? )

I feel I have accomplished a lot today and I haven't even slept yet. Sleep gives you cancer, man, everybody knows that.

Had a horrid moment Thursday night when, during a discussion about Y-fronts (which I am completely pro, by the way), I realised that I don't have any pictures of Tianyu in his underwear. Why didn't I take more pictures? Jesus, I should have taken pictures.

People, if you have a someone right now, this weekend, get sexy, and take pictures. In your underwear, naked, dressed, lingerie, whatever, get sexy. Photograph it and burn it to disk (and hide it, if it makes you uncomfortable), but take pictures. Photograph every shoulder, the curve of the neck, every important scar. Bend her/him over the bed and photograph the way their underwear stretches over their ass. Put your hand on it and photograph that, too.

Take pictures of the way they hang a towel about themselves when they get out of the shower, or the way they are distracted when they sit at the computer, and they slouch in their chair. Take pictures of the casual moment in which they are completely oblivious to the fact that they are sexy as fuck. Spoons in mouths, chopsticks in hair, that funny little quirk her mouth gets when she thinks you're acting lame as fuck.

You don't have to photograph the sex, if you end up having it, but photograph the tongue, and the lips and the eyebrow. Hands, oh god, you see them every day. But take a picture. Take scads.

I'm not saying this because--look, I'm saying this because you don't know, you never know. He could leave the house tomorrow and you'll never see him again. She could kiss you goodbye and just disappear. And I don't mean literally, I mean, when they're dead, snap of the fingers, it feels like a trick. For three months after Tianyu died I was almost convinced that he'd just disappeared and joined the CIA. It felt as if he had just vanished.

We don't think about these things because that's the way humans are-- and that's good, actually. You can't live your life in fear. But prepare for the possibles. Prepare for the idea that it could happen. Prepare, think of, ruminate on it, just for a second, or three, that god, you're here, and you're together, and maybe you're in love, or just love, and if it disappeared, what do you want to remember seeing? Touching?

Anyway, I don't have anything for you today, lovelies. Writing and things. Memes tomorrow or something.

1. I remain sad. I do not know why. Bleaugh. But blocking out fandom is A LOSING BATTLE, since I find that entertaining, at least. Still. I need to self-police…suck my personality back in. In this bottle. Labeled, uhm, 'Cleaning solvent'. Hrm. Wrong bottle.

Maybe I should go to the cemetery. Tianyu would know what to do. Why I even wonder is a mystery. Tianyu would have said, 'Fuck all y'all bitches' and then dropped his pants so that he could wave his dick at you.

Wow. I know I miss Tianyu when one of his more irritating habits makes me melancholy and verklempt.

2. I had to drop out of the Torchwood Virtual Season 3, and I'm kind of sad about it, even though I did it voluntarily. I feel like I couldn't deliver what they wanted, given the parameters of like, working well with others and in general plot issues, and I wish them well. I will be reading and cheering from the sidelines, because people? It's a fucking fantastic season with some amazing writers (the best, actually!).

3. This leaves me with lionessvalenti and our TORCHWOOD BIG BANG OF DOOM. I am not betraying secrets to tell you that it is JACK/TARDIS/IANTO. AND IT IS AWESOME if you like porn and funny! Poly big bang is progressing and in the hands of some loverly people (blue_fjords, the beta mistress extraordinaire, and curriejean, whom I roped into just reading it as if she was an alpha reader). None of you should read it, because you'll make fun of it. Hermione Big Bang is due Monday. I should finish making changes and send it. *is lazy*

4. HOLY SHIT I WANT TO WATCH TV AND WRITE AT THE SAME TIME BUT THAT IS NOT CONDUCIVE. I haven't seen True Blood since the Barry episode, and I have only seen one episode of PR, and if I am right, then Top Chef Las Vegas has already started? Le sigh. I haven't seen Weeds since the Van Nuys episode. And I think I have netflix disks here since…March 30. Oops. I think I'll just send M back, unwatched. Was it any good, people?

5. Last night was the first night that the kidlet didn't have crib rails on her bed. She was SO EXCITED about it, but alas, she awoke at 1 a.m., 4 a.m., and 6 a.m. Each time I tucked her ass back in bed, but mommy didn't sleep well.

6. I have to pay bills today. I keep forgetting they don't let me live here for free.

7. Did you ever have so many completely odd but unrelated things to do, that you know you should make a list, but you can't seem to recall more than one? And it nags at you? I'm like that. Right now all I can think is, 'Buy cowboy boots' (I'd just get my old ones resoled again, but the leather wore through at the toe. SUCK.). I know there's more. There has to be.

8. Welcome to Pennsylvania, where we love our elk (they do not taste like chicken!). Elk in Distress Rescued by Pennsylvania Game Commission Aw, the worst part is that he has to walk around like that for the rest of the year.

Elk1: Hey Bob, what happened to your other antler?
Bob the Elk: mumblemumblemumble.
Elk1: What? You're mumbling.
Bob: I GOT IT CAUGHT IN A SWINGET, OKAY? HAPPY NOW?
Elk1: That was you? I only saw pics of your ass.
Bob: I hope you get shot this season.

Sometimes I feel like a complete arse.

Bah.