you even sound wack when you try to check the mike

[amand_r]

1. So last night I'm writing a check to the cemetery to put a summer box of flowers at Tianyu's grave, and they ask for the location, and I don't know what the fuck that is. I'll have to dig it out. But I'm sitting there filling out the rest of the goddamn form, and I find myself crying and apologising to Tianyu, and I don't even know what the fuck for. For the flowers, maybe. That that's all I can give him now, maybe. That I rarely go there. I can't look at it. I don't know what to say to it. It's just kind of there. That stone isn't for me. I would have cremated him and sent his ashes to George Takei to dispose of as he saw fit. Or Christopher Lambert. NO NO. JET LI.

Dear Mister Li:

Enclosed is your future.

Sincerely,

Yul Brynner's Rotting Corpse


2. ENOUGH OF THAT BULLSHIT. DON'T ASK ME TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU, WARREN.

(NSFW)

I missed you, threebrain.

3. apparently Scott Baio just went insane, which I am surprised at, because really, Goats has been making fun of Scott for a while.

You know what I'd like to see? Certain celebs given a twitter and free time to use it and get all wrapped up in it, so that we can see the meltdowns we really deserve. Candidates are: Mel Gibson, Debbie Gibson, Naomi Campbell (we might have to supply additional phones), Kirk Cameron PLEASE GOD KIRK CAMERON. Maybe the youngest kid from Hanson.

4. How a shark gets ready.

5. Lastly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa's 1993 masterpiece, "None Of Your Business":

I never put my nose where I'm not supposed to,
Believe me, if he's something that I want, I'm steppin' closer,
I'm not one for playing high-pole
Like the house of ditty 90210 type of ho.
I treat a man like he treats me;
The difference between a hooker and a ho ain't nothin' but a fee.

I feel as if I have been enlightened. I'd also like to mention:

So, yo, so, yo, ho - check it, double deck it on a record butt-naked, but you really have to listen to it: at 2:36

It's also worth it to note that dating the song in the text of the song does not do the song any favours, except that I think that it's charming in a way (1:20). Also, let's give the ladies props for putting a same sex couple in a video back in 1993 (3:14), nicely placed during the line about how no one has the right to judge others. I know it feels like a pittance, but one thing I always admired about SnP was that they were always open minded and fairly liberated in some ways. (Heaven and Hell passes the Bechdel test in a time when most songs were about relationships. The last track on the album is a short skit about HIV from an inner city improv group).

SO, YO, SO YO HO.

You can stop after :42. It just repeats. The lyrics make it.

Comments

[momebie.livejournal.com]

The 'weeeeee' video is still one of my favorite things on the internet.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT IT. I ONLY REMEMBERED BECAUSE WANTED TO FIND "HYPOTHERMIA".

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

Ranj is in a box (note to self, get Ranj a much nicer box, if he has to sit in one forever) on the side table in my living room, with some pictures and stuff around it. I put candy on his box--seasonal stuff usually although I have no idea what I'll use for summer, I guess I'll just change it out sometimes. Currently he's got three hollow Lindt chocolate lambs, which I think would amuse him.

So much better than a burial, and someday maybe I'll scatter him. But not anytime soon.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's strange. I don't know if I could have cremated him. But I dunno, the cemetary isn't for me. I dunno. Conflicted: I is it.

Hollow chocolate lambs for the win. Summer candy: something sour? SOUR PATCH KIDS!

Pep's ass gets respect.

[count-to-seven.livejournal.com]

I once got into a V. SRS flame war over whether Lobster Magnet or Weee! was the better gem. I still contend it's Weee!, because IT HAS GONADS. LOBSTER MAGNET HAS MERELY MAGNETS AND CLAWS.

And THANKS for getting "None Of Your Business" stuck in my head.

Re: Pep's ass gets respect.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

NO I AIN'T HARD LIKE THE BITCHES ON THE BOULEVARD
MY FACE AIN'T SCARRED AND I DON'T DANCE IN BARS.

[easilymused1956.livejournal.com]

I love you so hard for making my day so, um, lively. Yeah, that's it. Lively.

Thank you.

Renee

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Haahaaahaha THAT'S RIGHT.

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

The Weee vid is much more disturbing/apt now that I live with the emogeek "gonads and strife" could totes be his motto.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

HAAAHAHAHAHAH LOOK UP "SCHOOLBUS". IT'S INSANE.

[sivatheminty.livejournal.com]

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l18pr22xjf1qbeynbo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1272052242&Signature=BZ4Ok7XqvIf0xBpeffjD%2BbbkCVc%3D

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I know! I lolled so hard at that. I think Ianto's shocked face is the best part.

Wee!

[curriejean.livejournal.com]

Stop pulling out the internet's naked baby pictures and showing everyone, mander. It embarrasses it. :P The bit with the gonads and the bunnies has always weireded me out a little. There's something so... bunny-like about those dissected gonads.

Scott Baio is my father. But I don't think I'll ever meet anyone quite as awesome as Baio's wife.

Re: Wee!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I have a theory that she's actually the sane one, but this time she acted crazy so that he would look better.

I'm trying to be a good person here.

I'm failing.

Yeah.

[djin7.livejournal.com]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHaHAHaaha. THANKS so much for the EARWORM of the SaltNPepa variety. *Shakes fist*

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE MOST WELCOME!

[amonitrate.livejournal.com]

PLEASE GOD KIRK CAMERON indeed.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

WOULDN'T THAT BE AWESOME? i MEAN, REALLY THIS MAN IS INSANE:

[behindblue-eyes.livejournal.com]

OMG I forgot about the awesome that was 'gonads and strife'! I used to play that as loud as possible out my dorm window on the day freshmen moved in. You know, just to let them know what to expect.

Love the llama. And that explains where the "doctor doctor jack" icon I keep seeing came from (priceless).

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

OMG I forgot about the awesome that was 'gonads and strife'! I used to play that as loud as possible out my dorm window on the day freshmen moved in. You know, just to let them know what to expect.

This freshly gutted internets is yours to do with as you see fit. I hear they are great sauteed with fava beans and consumed with a nice chianti.

[behindblue-eyes.livejournal.com]

*licks her lips in a very suggestive manner*

Overenthusiastic feshman: Hi! Can someone help me move my tv? *perks ears* Is that... gonads? And strife?
Jaded RA: Eh. It's the honors wing, this is nothing. You should see them during finals.
Suddenly less enthusiastic freshman: Um. Mom?
Me: AND WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *hanging out the window and ROCKING*

That's sadly accurate. The theatre department put on Batboy: The Musical (http://www.sendspace.com/file/wvsn8v) during finals one year and a third of my floor was involved in the production. That was some scary shit.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

ahaaahahaahahaha! AWESOME!

[arsenicjade.livejournal.com]

I would hit that, is all I'm saying.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

you would hit scott baio?

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

can i just express my appreciation for the salt n pepa love?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

AWWWWW YEAH YOU CAN!

[sthayashi.livejournal.com]

BTW, re: #1
The next time you go, go with others. Having done both, I think going with others makes it easier. Used to meet Lu there before he moved away. Last time I brought Sir Sleeps-a-lot.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's a nice thought, but that would be even worse.

I can't imagine sir sleeps-a-lot voluntarily going. did you bribe him with hookers?

[adjovi.livejournal.com]

by the way, I EFFING LOVE THAT SHARK. so much. i would make it my desktop background at work if i thought i could get away with it.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

HAAAHAHAHAHA TOO TRUE. I DUNNO WHY IT AMUSED THE FUCK OUT OF ME.