it's bài nián time, baby

[amand_r]

1. The response to the RPF is lolarious. Part of me is like, "Well, you knew it would be like this," and the rest of me is like, O_o? Not mad or anything, so much as intrigued in a dissecting animals way.

2. Porno or Pony? You decide. I got 5/12, so obviously I need to watch more porn, and also get me some more fishponies. (h/t kwanalicious)

3. Oh yeah, BTW:



laurab1 is love.

4. I am immensely proud to announce this: tw_itallchanges. Check it out, friends it, and then read along. The episodes are OUTSTANDING, and the construction of the entire season is amazing. I have an ep in here, co-written with mah fishpony, cruentum. Don't worry, we don't use any non-famous significant others. :P I think there might be puke, though.

5. lefaym asked me 5 questions.

1. What is your favourite f/f pairing from Torchwood/Doctor Who?

This is fucking hard, because I don't know a lot of Who. I don't like my Who girls for f/f, because I think of them as straight in my head. BUT TORCHWOOD. My 2 favorite pairings involve Johnson. I like her with Alice, but I would have LOVED to have had her with Tosh. I could do a whole saga of the relationship of Tosh and Agent Johnson, whose first name, in case you are wondering, is Dierdre. They call her Dee. Most people call her Ma'am. Or Sir. She likes Sir. When they are in bed and cuddling, Tosh calls her Sweetie Dee-dee. What? I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MY ART TO YOU, WARREN

2. What is the best fic you have read recently?

Aside from FISHPONIES' latest work? I kid.

That's really hard. I should bookmark more. I really really liked troubadora's fic from yesterday, and nancybrown has been laying out some amazing fics for halfamoon not all of them TW. Go meander through the fics on tw_lucky_7; they're pretty good, too.

3. Someone puts you in charge of TW S4 -- you have complete creative control: What happens?

I hate this question, because what I would like to see in a show and what I think is cool in fic are two different things. I like the concept of an arc, like in Buffy, that takes the whole season. I'd like to see Agent Johnson come to the team. I'm writing a fic right now in which she does. I'd like to see Jack come back, but be demoted by the Queen herself. I'd like to see Jack with a new interest, not necessarily a man, not strictly a woman. I don't think it has to be a relationship.

I'd like there to be some mention of Ianto, maybe an ep where Jack hallucinates him everywhere. Maybe it can be a recurring thing for Jack to see/talk to him in his personal quarters. And you have to be unsure whether or not he's a ghost or a hallucination. In the end, wait, this is the fic I'm writing. I AINT TELLING YOU SHIT.

I'd like to se Gwen juggling work and a kid. I'd like to see Rhys as mister mom, because I think we need more men like that. I'd like to see a Lois Habiba who is lusting after a women or man who doesn't notice her (Tosh!). I'd like to see more shit with Flat Holm.

I want an ep where they have to infiltrate a gambling ring, and Jack is a dealer, and Gwen is a cigarette girl, and Agent Johnson is a high roller and she takes all of her frustrations about her current position and her seething resentment of Jack and Gwen (it's latent) out of them because they're just employees and they have to play along.

I want more Bilis Manger.

I think the subplot of the first episode should involve Gwen searching the skies the whole time, and you think she's looking for Jack. And she keeps asking Lois, "Anything?" and Lois always says, "Not today." And then there's the actual plot of the week, and then at the end, Lois says, "I have it," and they track the coordinates, and they capture Myfanwy. And you realise what Gwen had been asking hadn't been about Jack, but Myfanwy, and then after they get her situated, just before the credits, Gwen hears her name across the Plass (she goes there to remember sometimes) and she turns, and it's Jack. Credits.

Okay, that was ep one. I suck a lot.

4. If someone gave you a pony, what would you do with it?

WHAT. I WOULD MATE IT WITH A FISH. DUH.

5. What makes a better sex toy: Jack's belt or Ianto's tie?

This question requires more input, because like a punnet square, the answer is either dominant or recessive (submissive!) depending on the combination:

Ianto wielding Jack's belt
Ianto wielding his tie
Jack wielding his belt
Jack wielding Ianto's tie.

AND ALSO:

Ianto wielding Jack's belt in the conference room
Ianto wielding his tie in the conference room
Jack wielding his belt in the conference room
Jack wielding Ianto's tie in the conference room
Ianto wielding Jack's belt in Jack's room
Ianto wielding his tie in Jack's room
Jack wielding his belt in Jack's room
Jack wielding Ianto's tie in Jack's room

That list goes on for a while and THEN we get things like:

Ianto wielding Jack's belt for good sexay fun tiems
Ianto wielding his tie for good sexay fun tiems
Jack wielding his belt for good sexay fun tiems
Jack wielding Ianto's tie for good sexay fun tiems
Ianto wielding Jack's belt as he's possessed by an alien sadism ai
Ianto wielding his tie as he's possessed by an alien sadism ai
Jack wielding his belt as he's possessed by an alien sadism ai
Jack wielding Ianto's tie as he's possessed by an alien sadism ai

And so on. So the answer is actually: cock go in hole.

I suppose if you're dying to have me ask you questions, you can respond to this meme with a quote like, "NOT IN THE FACE! THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!" AND I'LL ASK YOU 5. But I might have company, so I email fu will be weak, like Dumbledore after he drank all that manky water in HBP. Then he fell off that tower (SNAPE DID NOT KILL HIM! HAN SHOT FIRST!), and then everyone did that 21 wand salute into the sky or something. I forget. For me the pain is not very near, or some shit. Wow, four pop culture refs I one paragraph. I must be slipping.

Come on, if I referenced "Play Misty For Me", would any of you get it?

6. On my recommendation, cruentum watched Logan's Run. Something about this makes me lol. I also lol that he didn't email me afterwards and demand those two hours of his life back. Owaite, lemme get my TARDIS and we'll refund that to store credit. Haahahahahaha IF YOU SEE ANYTHING CALLED CAROUSEL, RUN, CRUE! YOUR HAND CLOCK IS FLASHING!

Comments

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

I was really disappointed to to find Logan's Run wasn't about Wolverine. I was sort of imagining this Forrest Gump-esque Canadian road movie. I have no idea if the film itself was actually any good from that point on because I was too crucified with woe to concentrate.

You can ask me questions, if you like. I'm collecting them for I need actual content with which to update my LJ and there's none of that inside my brain.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

oKAY UHM. EVERYONE WANTS QUESTIONS.

1. Did we like Hugh Jackman's version of Wolverine?
2. Best forgotten Marvel character ever (mine is Maggot)?
3. What is Professor Xavier's natural enemy?
4. Why dolphins? Why couldn't Ianto turn into a velociraptor?
5. Have you ever been dragged by a horse?

[cruentum.livejournal.com]

The film wasn't that bad.

Umm.

Ask me questions.

Man I need chocolate, a lot of it. AND I BOUGHT SOME! WHAT CONVENIENT COINCIDENCE!

There are more thoughts in my brain, I suppose they'll likely dribble out sooner or later and make a puddle.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

1. Based on the reaction we have gotten on the RPF, should we write more? Do you think that it was a step too far?
2. Ianto--teenage handjobs in the locker room y/n?
3. John Barrowman and botox--y/n?
4. What kind of chocolate?
5. Why do you people use so many potatoes?

[golden-d.livejournal.com]

Ask me questions! I need something to do. Something that isn't shoveling.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Okay, I don't know you super well, so I'll have to go off fandom stuff:

1. Do you have training in linguistics? Because you seem to be attached to languages as subject material.
2. Tosh--if she were still alive, what would she be doing for TW? would she have saved their asses in CoE?
3. Gwen's baby, boy or girl?
4. In that other universe-- how are Rose and her human Doctor doing?
5. DESERT ISLAND TOP THREE BOOKS. (I love desert questions)

[beesandbrews.livejournal.com]

Re: Play Misty. I would. One of the most covered tunes in jazz and a movie that is disturbing to this day.

[djin7.livejournal.com]

Exactly *points up*.

Any who remembers Logan's Run should also be able to remember ~Misty, or at least have a working idea of all Clint's work. :D

[nancybrown.livejournal.com]

4. Cannot wait to see this. :D

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

\o/

[curriejean.livejournal.com]

OMG #5. I LOLD AS HARD AS I DID AT THOSE VIDS YOU GAVE ME.

NOT IN THE FACE! THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Walter? will you marry me?

OMG WRITE A BOOK ABOUT US, PAULA.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I want an ep where they have to infiltrate a gambling ring, and Jack is a dealer, and Gwen is a cigarette girl, and Agent Johnson is a high roller and she takes all of her frustrations about her current position and her seething resentment of Jack and Gwen (it's latent) out of them because they're just employees and they have to play along.

I want more Bilis Manger.

I think the subplot of the first episode should involve Gwen searching the skies the whole time, and you think she's looking for Jack. And she keeps asking Lois, "Anything?" and Lois always says, "Not today." And then there's the actual plot of the week, and then at the end, Lois says, "I have it," and they track the coordinates, and they capture Myfanwy. And you realise what Gwen had been asking hadn't been about Jack, but Myfanwy, and then after they get her situated, just before the credits, Gwen hears her name across the Plass (she goes there to remember sometimes) and she turns, and it's Jack. Credits.

Okay, that was ep one. I suck a lot.

No you don't. I love these ideas! I want to see or read them.

Five questions, perrrlease.

OH AND THAT BANNER BY LAURA IS ACE. LOOK AT BILLIE! OMG CUTE.

[laurab1.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Foxy :)

Look at Billie's boobs, to be precise ;)

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Some of that is really cool, and some of it was me vomiting shit.

1. Best place you have ever lived.
2. Song you got sick of playing on the radio so much that you never want to hear it again?
3. Just when did Rose and the Doctor get jiggy with it?
4. What is your favorite type of prophylactic? and if you got an STI, which one would you prefer?
5. If you WERE and STI, which prophylactic would you prefer to encounter?

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

The undercover-in-a-club trope is one that could use your fiercely revisionist brush. Also, Myfanwy recovery for the muthafuckin WIN. I'm approving this plan hard, with all the sparkle I can scrape up off the monitor.

(But what about Jaaaaaaanet?)

In the meantime, we are going to enjoy the fuck out of the Virtual Season, and gird our loins for Carnevale.

Also, pritty plz, five questions?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Poor Janet is dead.

1. Just how many languages do you speak, oh languid one?
2. Hookers or blow?
3. Masquerade? Paper faces on parade?
4. Can Jack contract STIs? Or does he just carry them? OR does his body reject them? Give us the skinny.
5. Favorite alcoholic beverage?

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

The first time ever I saw your face ... I pounced on you. (Dude, is that the right song for the right movie?)

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

THAT IS ROBERTA FLACK.

[sthayashi.livejournal.com]

Your demand for more Bilis Manger was making me think of Buffy (that and your direct mention of Buffy). The extremely minor character Doc, who shows up for the resurrection of Buffy's mom episode (and comes back in later episodes), is eerily similar to Bilis.

I know this, because we just rewatched the season 5 finale of Buffy (in which he plays a role).

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I just rewatched it too! Hah! That's Joel Gray!

[brilliant-snark.livejournal.com]

Recover Myfanwy and bring back Billis! I agree!


...is it wrong that I LOVE Logan's Run?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

nOT AT ALL! I THINK IT'S A FUNNY ASS MOVIE.

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

Ask me, go on, I dare ya.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

1. Why huskies?
2. Why Savage Garden?
3. When the kids are gone, what is next?
4. Ianto was suspended after CW. What did he do?
5. BEST GERMAN FOOD EVER.

[quean-of-swords.livejournal.com]

I think the subplot of the first episode should involve Gwen searching the skies the whole time, and you think she's looking for Jack. And she keeps asking Lois, "Anything?" and Lois always says, "Not today." And then there's the actual plot of the week, and then at the end, Lois says, "I have it," and they track the coordinates, and they capture Myfanwy. And you realise what Gwen had been asking hadn't been about Jack, but Myfanwy, and then after they get her situated, just before the credits, Gwen hears her name across the Plass (she goes there to remember sometimes) and she turns, and it's Jack. Credits.

That would be EXCELLENT. SRSLY.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I can totally see it in mah head, that last scene, and then the next episode opens with the same scene, but instead of cutting to the credits after the turns and sees him, he walks towards her with his arms out and she decks him. THEN OPENING CREDITS.

Her <I>first name</I> could be "Agent"...

[behindblue-eyes.livejournal.com]

...and they track the coordinates, and they capture Myfanwy.

Oh yes, thank you, that's perfect. Because to hell with Jack, the ladies can do this on their own. (Gwen would be angsty about being Jack's boss, but quietly so and only where no one would see break her but the baby. Lois would be trying to live up to Ianto's standards in Gwen's and the coffee machine's eyes. Agent Johnson would have already dealt with this stuff during her entire military career so it never occurs to her to be worried about a thing.) Myfanwy is one of the girls. I'd love it if Jack were the only male in Torchwood, how kickass would that be? All these heels clicking on the grating, over and over, Jack sitting at his desk (because Gwen moved into his office) rubbing his temples and clenching his jaw. Click-click-click, until it's pad-pad-pad and the grating under his feet rumbles to a lower heel, shiny patent leather (not helpful for running but oh the lines of them) and warm blunt fingers digging into the tension in his shoulders. And then Gwen drops a file folder on his desk and Jack's startled awake. She smiles at him, and her boots click-CLICK when she walks away.

Or something like that. (I like the idea of Ianto being there during the first few episodes, but no one really mentioning him. Like Gwen kissing the photo of Tosh and Owen during CoE, only a little more subtle. Just a reminder of someone that should be there but isn't.)

And I'd get the reference, because my parents were hippies and named me Misty and I get that all the damn time.

OMG WHAT'S THIS IN MY EYE EWW IT BURNS or questions would be lovely, thank you.

[topgeargirl2.livejournal.com]

Will read your RPF today.

Have already done meme, thanks to lefaym.

Can't wait until the RPF battle.

[annemjw.livejournal.com]

I think the subplot of the first episode should involve Gwen searching the skies the whole time, and you think she's looking for Jack. And she keeps asking Lois, "Anything?" and Lois always says, "Not today." And then there's the actual plot of the week, and then at the end, Lois says, "I have it," and they track the coordinates, and they capture Myfanwy. And you realise what Gwen had been asking hadn't been about Jack, but Myfanwy

That would make me so happy :)

I did a terrible job at telling apart porn stars and ponies.

[lefaym.livejournal.com]

I would totally watch your TWS4 -- the stuff you mentioned in there such as Jack not being in charge anymore, and Ianto coming back for a hallucination/ghost episode (or maybe a 2-3 parter? :)), and Jack having a THING with someone who doesn't necessarily fit into a gender binary, and Lois and Johnson being on the team -- yes, I WANT ALL OF THAT. I also love your idea for the first episode.

Actually, I love it so much that right now I'm working on a magic spell to body-swap you with RTD, JUST SO YOU CAN DO THIS.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

OMG YOU WANT ME TO SWAP BODIES WITH RTD? WHAT KIND OF SICK WOMAN ARE YOU?