amand_r

Which means that everything I know...I know from fandom.

( Someone else wrote a story about it, and I drew pictures. )

1. MEME DAY, PEOPLE. SOOOOO BORED. BRAIN WISE.

A) Pick a fandom
B) Comment with that fandom's name and
C) I will tell you five pieces of my personal canon from that fandom.

Lemme guess how this will go:

Hrrrr……Highlander and Torchwood. I should just answer it now. No, pick a character or something. Don't just pick the fandom.

2. FIX YOUR GODDAMN TIES, I have become a crotchety old person.

3. THIS IS THE BEST MLIA EVER.

4. ( Okay, so in lieu of anything else, a bit of fic, because I need to prove that I've been writing: )

5. omnijaxual, in case you are wondering, goes live today.

6. Epistolary fic! SOME PEOPLE NEED TO PUT A STAMP ON THINGS AND SEND THEM TO ME.

7. FAMILY PIMP. ijeremy, who I have been told is a fox, is my older brother. He lives very far away in a place called CALY FORN EE AH. Anyway, he is a film student/actor/artiste, and he has his own IMDB page. LOLOR5. He's done some episodes of Man, Moment, Machine for the History channel, so if you've ever seen that show, or it's on, and they show the one about Alexander Graham Bell, my brother is Watson (lots of close up time). I think he also plays Bobby Kennedy in another one. But I think all I remember is that he wears a white suit, and I just made Colonel Sanders jokes when I saw it. I'm his sister, I'm allowed to mock his achievements. You, however, are not.

Anyway, he's been in film school, and he made this short film called The Chase which I think is super neato (and which I think cements the fact that we have the same sense of humor) and won some award at a film festival. I think he won a bag of Fritos and a camera. But yesterday mum emailed me the link to his new commercial in which he is visible for about…point eight seconds, but hey! I saw him! He had lines!

It's for Kashi. Don't hold that against him. Unless he likes it. He's the executive in the glasses that, with a full mouth says, "This is really good. Yeah" (He also says, "Oh, wow!" when they get on the elevator, but I think I might be the only one who can hear it, since I know his voice.)! Hey, blueberry clusters! Whatevs, he gets PAID, people. OH WOW! LOLOR5.

Go marvel at his adorableless. You can wave your hands and say, "That's the brother of the girl who wrote that scatological fic that I secretly loved! Hello, brother of Amand-r! I LOVE YOUR SISTER'S FISTING SCENES!" You can wave, but that was recorded a while ago. He's not gonna answer you.

8. I made croissandwiches. It took a lot of time and I took food pics! I shall make a separate post soon.

1. Hey, wanna see me step on my own dick? It'll be fun. You know, if you're into schadenfreude. ( Mah thoughts on warnings: )

As fandom has broken me. I am content to be overruled. I love fandom, and fandom loves me. Have more Victory gin, Winston.

2. WHERE THE FUCK DID MY PHOTOSHOP INSTALLATION DISK GO? DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS? TELL ME, BITCHES!

3. I love when babies are born in fandom. YAY BABIES. GROW UP TO WRITE MOAR FIC. OR COSPLAY CERES VICTORIA. POSSIBLY VASH DU STAMPEDE.

4. Still hating on the HBB. HATING.

5. Oh Baked Lays, you are evil and must be destroyed by mah belleh.

6. Yet one more thing for which I wish I could take responsibility.

7. I love verasteine for her awesome meta, which I found really helpful, actually. But also, I love her because her post unearthed the phrases "writing Jack is like wearing Prada" and "Ianto makes my ass look great".

8. Because I am bored with myself, I shall post a bit of the ( bodyswap fic, just to make myself feel better about not working on it right now. )

There. Off to read TBB fics. WOOT!

Note: the YOU in this entry is YOU, and I have no idea who you are. If you're insulted by this, then maybe YOU are the one I was thinking of. I'm just too lazy to bother with killing the second person shite. Oops.

WARNING: Freakingly huge gratuituous (sp) use of the word "fuck"! I only mention this because I just noticed it. Sweet Jesus, I say fuck a lot! Fuck me!

( Fanfic readers want too much. )

Today's completely off the top of the head rant was brought to you by tea, as in I've had five gallons of it, and by the letter X.

By no means a full entry for today, but it's all I could muster.

Shit I hate in slash fanfic:

HIGHLANDER AND OTHER ASSORTED FANDOMS HAVE BED IDENTIFICATION ISSUES: The "bed. now" construction is both inane and moronic. What the hell is this all about? I have (not that my sexual adventures are by any means a compendium from which to write a manual) never heard this shit. Let's just play a bit of how this goes in my head:

Methos lifted Duncan's shirt over his head and ...blah blah, something sexy...blah blah....Duncan gasped to feel the sensitive tongue tracing yukka yukka....blah de blah. He raised his eyes up for a split second to lock with the other Immortal's.

Duncan caught the talented fingers in his hands and stilled them, catching his lover's attention. "Methos. Bed. Now."

"Yes, I can see it's a bed," Methos murmured into Duncan's ear, stopping to sharply bite down on an earlobe. "And in fact, it is no less a bed now than it was earlier. Or is it only recently a bed, and prior to this moment it had been a pincushion or a rocket launcher?"

Duncan promptly lost his erection as Methos sat down on the now-bed and mused.

"Perhaps it's a ghost bed, like a Brigadoon bed, and it only appears in certain moments. If we're on the bed when it shifts back to its other plane of being, will we be transported there as well, trapped forever in a realm of beds and sheets?"

Duncan's cock stirred at the thought of a land of beds. Methos was lost in thought.

"Unless you were indicating that now would be a good time for me to get on the bed, in which case you could have said it in a much sexier way, instead of belying the argument you persist in making that you are, in fact, *not* an uncivilized Cro-Magnon Scot who likes to throw the chicken bones over your shoulder to the dogs."

Duncan felt like crying.

"All this talk of chicken makes me hungry. Let's go to Popeye's!" Methos trilled, slapping his hands off his still denim clad thighs before he rose from the rocket launcher (earlier)-bed (now) to cross the room and find his shoes. Duncan promptly sat down on the bed in shock, wondering where sexy!Methos had gone, only to be replaced with hungry!Methos. The bed shimmered for a second, then both it and its occupant faded out in a wail of bagpipes.

Methos turned and examined the spot critically. "Serves him right. 'Bed, now, arr matey.' Hmph." Then he stole Mac's wallet from the dresser top and went out for some chicken and waffles.

Bed. Now. Hmph.

HARRY POTTER PROBLEM: "Accio __________" when what you're putting into the blank is a sexual implement. Accio lube, accio dildo, accio vibrator, ACCIO DENTAL DAM! It's....it's....it's....damn silly.

OOOOOC......Aaaaaach, crap. Shit I never want to see again:

Severus Snape: "I , I, I, Harry, I lurrv you. I always have, Smoochie woochie kins"
Harry Potter: "I just want to watch you shake that ass, honey."
Methos: "What? A bath with rose petals? A facial! Girl, you got it going on! Hit me up!"
Logan: "Staring at the man as he dances in Babylon, I realize that I want to lick Chuck's [Prof. X's] bald head until the glitter raining from the ceiling covers us both."

::choke:: I think I sprained something with that last one.