i sense there's something in the wind that seems like tragedy's at hand

[amand_r]

1. Non-Torchwood fan Kwanalicious peruses the pairings list at omnijaxual and inadvertently writes fanfic.

Kwanalicious: so i'm reading that omnijaxual fic pairing list. and i'm fucking blown away. motherfucking animorphs, man. those bygone innocent years of enjoying ghostwriting
Amand-r: LOLOR5. WAIT TIL YOU GET TO THE BOTTOM.
Kwanalicious: the care bears?! dear god
Amand-r: THE LAST CATEGORY BLEW MY BRAIN APART.
Kwanalicious: if fraggles are on this list, i give up
Amand-r: I SIGNED ON FOR CAREBEARS!!!
Kwanalicious: hahaha, you WOULD. goddammmit
Amand-r: EITHER THAT OR GOD, FROM DOGMA.
Kwanalicious: wtf
Amand-r: JACK/ALANNIS MORISSETTE FTW.
Kwanalicious: is there a single person in the dr. who universe that ISN'T listed in this? ew, flubber?
Amand-r: TONS OF PEOPLE AREN'T LISTED. FOR SRS.
Kwanalicious: wtf no sex with fraggles but sex with the trash heap
Amand-r: LOLOL. I JUST TYPED IN WHAT PEOPLE SUGGESTED. THE LIST IS NOT COMPREHENSIVE.
Kwanalicious: lol lol, tachikoma
Amand-r: I added that.
Kwanalicious: cortana?? she's only digital
Amand-r: Tachikoma.
Kwanalicious: that means..cyber sexing
Amand-r: YES.
Kwanalicious: lol. i would just write it up as a chat log
Amand-r: DUDE, SOMEONE SUGGESTED the cosmological constant. GOOGLE THAT.
Kwanalicious: jack: i put on my robe and wizard hat
Amand-r: LOLOR5.
Kwanalicious:
cortana: i put your 1 in my 0
jack: googleplex!!!!!!!
the end
Amand-r: YES!!! JUST LIKE THAT!
Kwanalicious: hahaha
Amand-r: See how you wrote it and you didn't mean to?
Kwanalicious: yeah. that...may be the only fanfic i have ever written or will ever write. wow, magical portraits from harry potter? that's like having your own reactive porn
Amand-r: COME SHOT. "sorry, got some in your tempura"
Kwanalicious: haha, ew. Ugh. some of these are decidedly unsexy. like the coffee room aliens in men in black.
Amand-r: haaahahaha I KNOW.
Kwanalicious: it just seems really...unsanitary.
Amand-r: That one is strangely appropriate, though.
Kwanalicious: jesus christ
Amand-r: I wish someone would write Jack working for the MIB.
Kwanalicious: who suggested all the aztec gods? wtf.
Amand-r: I don't remember?!!!?!? FLAYING SEX!
Kwanalicious: hahaha, a lolcat?? i imagine that it would ONLY respond to jack in approved lolcat phrases.
lolcat: i can has cheezburger please?
jack: here ya go stuffs dick in lolcat
Amand-r: Jack: ORLY?
Kwanalicious: lol.
Amand-r: LOLCAT: INVISIBLE HANDJOB Like how I included that in mythology?
it should have been ceilingcat. lol
Kwanalicious: haha yes. well that would be the punchline at the end. or the intro. ceilingcat is watching jack masturbate! so he jumps down to lend a paw? holy crap, the horta from star trek? gross
Amand-r: LOL I LIKE HOW DISTRACTED YOU ARE HERE.
Kwanalicious: who the fuck is kit fisto? i feel like i'm pretty decently nerdy in star wars, yet i don't know who that is.
Amand-r: ??? I DON'T KNOW.
Kwanalicious: hahahaha edward cullen. please tell me that was your suggestion.
lol, any cereal mascot?
Amand-r: NOPE!!
Kwanalicious: how about that goddamn bear that's on price chopper's generic brand cereal
Amand-r: SHADINGS SUGGESTED IT. SHE WAS FUNNY ABOUT IT TOO!
Kwanalicious: my dad always fucking laughs at those
Amand-r: SHE WAS ALL, "LOLOR5 EDWARD *SNORT*."
Kwanalicious: haha



2. That meme thing from yesterday? Much more complicated than I thought. Give me time.

3. I beta read a Harry Potter/Torchwood crossover for the Snarry games, and It'd be nice if you went over to give it a whirl. It has mystery! Sex! A FIREARMS LESSON FROM CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS, RAF. You know, all the good stuff.

Here it is: Sands of Time by rons_pigwidgeon.

4. My carpet has mystery spots. What are you, mystery spots? You are not cat puke. Hrm. Don't worry, Billy Mays will take care of you.

5. Update that I don't want to get into: Hives are not gone.

Comments

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Soaking in hot water, JSYK, will make itching worse. Always use lukewarm or cooler!

I grew up flea dipping my cats, and one of these ones is a maine coon. I'm not bathing them unless they get caught in an oil spill. And even then I might give them an evaluative look and say, "really? You can't clean that off?"