My most vivid memories all involve cheeseburgers.

[amand_r]

1. THIS IS ART, BITCHES. However, dragons having sex with cars? Not so much. My favorite, BTW, is number three. (h/t amonitrate)

2. Day fifty billion. ask_captainjack still doesn't know my name. I SHOULD WRITE HIM A LETTER.

3. My sister in law makes sure to keep me apprised of R Pat's health AT EVERY TURN:

Kwanalicious: Robert Pattinson almost hit by car whilst running from fangirls.
Amand-r: OMG LOLOR5. I shouldn't laugh! BUT! HAAHAHAHA. That is horrible. Haahaha.
Kwanalicious: hahahaha --I just have this mental image of this HUGE guy bending over Robert Pattinson and then looking up and shaking his fist at the fans and screaming YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID?!!?!?! YOU ALMOST KILLED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Amand-r: Haahahha.
Kwanalicious: and then he slings r.patt's arm over his neck and helps him stagger away.
Amand-r: Oh god. Too funny. Pooor Rpat.
Kwanalicious: hahaha r-pat. rhymes with ceiling cat. RPAT IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE

4. It was a fly, peoples. Call me then he kills an ox with his bear hands. Get it? BEAR HANDS.

Kwanalicious: so I watched the Obama fly swatting video. It's actually pretty impressive. It's one of those fat houseflies, not a gnat.
Amand-r: I wasn't impressed. HE NEEDS TO DO THAT SHIT WITH FUCKING CHOPSTICKS. Then I'll be all, "OH SNAP! TAKE THAT PETA WITH YOUR FUCKING SEA KITTENS! THEY'RE FISH." Next, president Obama will make us paint the fence and wax the cars. That's actually going to be our foreign policy from now on.

5. I opened my inbox this morning, and hells yeah! 21 UNREAD EMAILS! AMERICA, FUCK YEAH.

6. I am going to Hub 3. I say this because I totes don't know who else is going, and then I learned that I'd be able to hump accost slobber on both laurab1 and smirnoffmule, I think I peed myself. Okay, no I didn't lose control of bodily functions, but I am tres excited. Anybody else? Bueller? Bueller?

7. For reasons beyond my control, when I woke up this morning, my voice sounded distinctly like Stormer from the Jem cartoons (The blue haired one. go to about :30) Now I need to find a sexy red-head and lay down an album. I'm Okay!

8. OMG darthhellokitty-- there will be no pics because I fell asleep lying on the floor of the shower and then dragged myself into the bedroom after the water got cold. There I passed out, alien towel thing on my head, and now my hair is all wonked.



Look, I took a picture of myself, but it was REALLY BAD. So here is a picture of my kid, who is digging the whole "take off your clothes" vibe these days:





Haahahaha. sthayashi, we did indeed fail. I count only 17 empties total, and 2 of those are Emminator's. We….suck. Haahaha. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH.

Comments

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I lovelovelove your cutie child pics. They allow me to admire the adorable without having one of my own.

AM JELLUS, YOU. Hub 3?

I think you should email Ask_CaptainJack with some Destiny's Child:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GWNIBHTi88

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I like to think that I and the kid perform a valuable service.

HUB THREE, LADY. ME, KICKING IT IN THE UK, until I get arrested for something like...sheep hooliganism or something.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Let us know what he says!

I emailed him once, back in...January? Just to tell him he was REALLY EPIC.

[sthayashi.livejournal.com]

We'll Track that Next Time!!!!!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I can't help it, but--MARK IT ZERO.

[moljn.livejournal.com]

3: I saw some fans refer to him as Our-Patz. No wonder he runs, poor guy.

4: I admit I'm somewhat opposed to swatting flies. Only the black/grey-striped female ones, though, because they're livebearers and if there's something worse than a big fat fly, it's a big fat fly with tiny maggots crawling out of its dead body.

Uhm, yeah, hope you weren't eating anything just then.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

OUR patz? Oh Jesus. That poor dude.

[pogrebin.livejournal.com]

Dude, you casually mentioned Jem and the Holograms. I LOVE YOU.

80s cartoons were clearly on crack. Biker Mice From Mars, anyone?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Haahaha. Jem was truly truly truly outrageous. I didn't watch much TV like that when it was on. I probably missed the Biker Mice. :(

[pogrebin.livejournal.com]

CRACKIEST INTRO EVAR.

[moljn.livejournal.com]

Is it sad that I thought, "Hm, weren't they from the nineties?" and then went and googled it to prove myself right? Stuff like that should not be occupying my brain matter, is what I'm saying, and yet there it is, along with the Samurai Pizza Cats and several versions of Peter Pan.

[sivatheminty.livejournal.com]

Art, definatly...and Dinasaurs WTF?? I have to show Steve those, AFTER his dad leaves. :P

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was like, WHO DREW THESE AND WHY?

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

I object to the dinosaurs fucking cars, on the grounds that they should have bits like lizards, not mammals. That's just silly.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Hasahahahaha. Like Jack.

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

I approve of all your struck out actions! A humpslobberaccost of a weekend it shall be.

FFS, even if I can't afford the ticket, I think I'm still gonna come and lurk outside the hotel to say hi to people, and possibly get drunk at their bar.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

If worse comes to worse, and you promise not to like, rob me blind, you can sleep in my room.

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

2. Day fifty billion. ask_captainjack still doesn't know my name. I SHOULD WRITE HIM A LETTER.

he once said my email was sexy
i forgive him many things for that

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I BET HE THINKS MY TRACTOR IS SEXY.

I wrote him a letter.

[tripperfunster.livejournal.com]

Dragons.

Fucking Cars.

No, really. FUCKING CARS!

Tru fax, I once saw a video of a MAN fucking a car. It had many lulz in it.

But really. DRAGONS.

fucking cars.

And robots? Imagine the epic-ness of like, a transformer-robot-car being fucked by a dino-dragon!?! *gets goosebumps*

And why do 90% of those robots look like Bender? He would never fuck a dinosaur. Nevah!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I DIDN'T CLICK THE LINK! hahaaahaha.

ALSO, I WROTE KNIGHTRIDER SLASH ONCE. IT WAS SCARY.

[cruentum.livejournal.com]

Have fun at Hub 3. If there was ever con I could attend in reasonable 'oh possible' ways it would be that one, but I'm not because it's a con. I'm so anti-cons. Also: I don't like drinking in company. I'm a solitary drinking person. Drinking in company and parties make me hide in a dark corner and be annoyed with the world, so no cons for me. But you'll have a good time, I'm sure.

Had a reply from Jack yet re: your name?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Haahaha, I am very antisocial unless I'm drinking. Okay, I'm fun at dinners, too, but if I am at a party and I don't know anyone, I'm a solitary drinker, too. And I drink alone most of the time anyway.

I haven't mailed it yet! But I know he won't respond. ::sob::

[aster-laevis.livejournal.com]

I have that lamp. And that striped blanket.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

THEN YOU GO TO TARGET AND IKEA.