in which i am three.

[amand_r]

One thing about having a kid is that no one looks at you funny anymore when you do dumbass things that if done sans child would have got you...funny…looks. This is a poorly constructed sentence. I shall save you the crap writing and instead say it in MOVIE CAPS--

ALLOW ME TO TRANSPORT YOU BACK IN TIME. TO YOUR CHILDHOOD:





These are "Magic Grow" animals. For those of you who have never seen them before, just follow along. If at any time you are tempted to say, "Wait, that's all they do? That…what's the point of that?" GO OUTSIDE TURN AROUND THREE TIMES AND SPIT. I AM LOOKING AT YOU, KIEL PEOPLE.

DIRECTIONS:


WHAT CAN YOU GET? IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK:


KIDLET IS SKEPTICAL:


ANIMALS FROM PILLS, YOU SAY? NO WAI.


TAKE THE GREEN PILL, NEO:


SUBMERGE IN WATER. OR DROP IT IN AND WATCH IT FLOAT ANTICLIMACTICALLY:


THE GELATIN BEGINS TO MELT. WHAT AWAITS US? AS BRIAN KINNEY WOULD SAY, MY PECKER IS ALL A-TWITTER:


BOOOOOOOOOOORING.


I TAKE THAT BACK! IT'S MAGIC! FUCKING MAGIC!


OMG I MADE AN ELEPHANT!


DO IT AGAIN. TAKE THE BLUE PILL, NEO:


OMG WHAT WILL IT BEEEEEEEEEEEEE:


IT'S A RHINO!


OMG DO IT AGAIN!


VIVI IS INTRIGUED AT MOMMY'S MAGIC FUCKING POWERS:


MAKE IT WORK FASTER:


OMG. IT'S A WILDEBEEST.


VIVI KNOWS WHAT IT IS--

VIV DOES IT HERSELF, BECAUSE IT'S THE PILL DROPPING THAT MAKES THE MAGIC WORK:


IT'S A ZEBRA!


OMG THAT WAS THE BEST USE OF 2.99 I HAVE HAD IN WEEKS. AND THAT WAS JUST THE FIRST 4. THERE ARE FOURTEEN MORE. GOD I AM EASY.

Comments

[cruentum.livejournal.com]

When I was home over christmas we made these things where you colour in these princesses and pirates on paper, except it's not paper, and then you put it in the oven and shrinks and it becomes proper plastic and is awesome.

Funny pills. I shouldn't picture this in a Jack/Ianto story. I'm de-aging Ianto too much in my head I think.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

SEE ABOVE COMMENT.

SHRINKIDINKS.

Regressed Jack would eat the pills and then say, "My tummy is rumbly."

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

OMG THOSE THINGS ARE AWESOME!!!


My dad use to get those for us (from drug reps) when I was a kid. My sister and I would play with them in the bathtub. My mom would always get pissed when we'd leave the pill poo (the gooey, outer casing) on the tub and let it dry and harden. Those were a bitch to get off, but the sponges were OMGFUNYAY!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

OMG I remember that they used to be like, dinosaurs and shit. I bet you can still get them like dinosaurs.

OMG I NEED SHRINKIDINKS.

[earthly-gnome.livejournal.com]

Undo it! Undo it!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I TOTES SAID THAT IN MY HEAD WHEN I MADE IT.

[azarias.livejournal.com]

Where did you buy these? URGENT INFORMATION NEEDED.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

SHOP N SAVE.

It's one of those things that randomly hangs from a string in the aisle, you know? Like most of the kids toys are scattered about the store.

[curriejean.livejournal.com]

A WHAT? :O

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

AN AWESOME.

[golden-d.livejournal.com]

AWESOME.

Oh man, I need to get some of those for the kids in my life.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

TWO NINETY-NINE AT THE GROCERY STORE! AWWWW SHEEEEIT.

[count-to-seven.livejournal.com]

OH HECK YES. I buy those things whenever I see them in the store and I do not have a child to fascinate.

But why did you not get the sea life pack? You could have sharks! A little foam Jaws to carry with you wherever you go!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

THIS WAS ALL THEY HAD.

THERE'S NO LAW THAT SAYS I CAN NEVER BUY THEM AGAIN, RIGHT? I WOULD HATE TO HAVE FILLED MY QUOTA ON FUCKING WILDEBEEST.

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA... not so long ago Director Cee and I picked up a expanding pirate at Michaels Crafts. He got as big as the effing waterglass man. It was skeery. Of course it took a week for him to grow big.

Imma quit now afore I make some unintended entendre. :P

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

HAAAHAHAHAH TOO LATE.

[crescent-gaia.livejournal.com]

I might have to write on how Myfanwy really came from a magic pill that came out of the rift. :D

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

OMG THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS IDEA.

[easilymused1956.livejournal.com]

God, the comments are as much fun as the swelling animals.

I'd read any of the potential stories mentioned here.

Renee

[snufflesdbear.livejournal.com]

Me, TOO!

[snufflesdbear.livejournal.com]

Oriental Trading company used to sell those - in all sorts of animals - only you had to buy a GROSS of them AT ONE TIME! OMG! 144 of them???? Where would I put them? I can not use that many sponges!!!

When I worked in a store in Chicago, they sold these bigger ones, size of a pullet egg, made BIG animals!

I thoghts about making shrinkydink TARDIS's (TARDI?) and Daleks, and classic CyberDudes. Or playdough. OR CLAYdough! WOOT!

[crescent-gaia.livejournal.com]

Shrinkydink TARDI needs Shrinkydink Doctors. :D

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

I am pretty sure I've bought these before, for Nick. Or maybe that was just bathtub chalk....

SHRINKYDINKS! or SHRINKIDINKS! I like that better. HOW do you make them yourself?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I think you need the plastic that forms the lids to take away cartons. Then you scratch it up so it's foggy and go to town. Then bake.

[kwanalicious.livejournal.com]

KUDU.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

????

OMG!

[evildrem.livejournal.com]

Sod the kids, I want some of those! I wonder if I can get them over here in the UK?
*goes off to search the interwebs*

Re: OMG!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

IF YOU CANNOT FIND THEM, LET ME KNOW.

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

LOVE THIS!

Now I'm sad cause my kid is all 12 and emo/goth-ish and would still love these but may not admit it!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

You have to do them at the table and cackle insanely until they come over.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHA WILDEBEEST! AND VIVI KNOWS WHAT IT --

Wait, did she just call it a cock?

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

I think she did. Either that, or she has an unfortunate way of saying "cat." But knowing her mother, it was "cock." Vivi will grow up knowing all the good words and will not understand why the other kids look at her funny when she says "I totes slash the principal with our kindergarten teacher!"

But we will understand and love her more for it.

[pocky_slash.livejournal.com]

DINOSAUR SAFARI ANIMAL PILLS OMG!

When I worked at Michael's, I was obsessed with dinosaur pills. I bought them like, once a week. My college BFF and I had tons of them all over the place. My poor friend Seb, recipient of about nine million care packages during this time period, probably has enough to start up his own dinosaur pill store.

THEY ARE STILL MY FAVORITE, OH MAN. I SHOULD GO BUY SOME MORE. I THINK GARY WOULD LIKE THEM.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I WAS THINKING I COULD DO SOMETHING WITH THEM. COLLAGE. HRM.

[topgeargirl2.livejournal.com]

wow, they are awesome, lol.

next you need to give her sea monkeys.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I can't wait til she's old enough for sea monkeys!

[sivatheminty.livejournal.com]

I love those things. They also have these larger polymer type thingies that absorb water to 6 x it's original size. One of the guys at work got his very own "blow up doll". I was facinated watching her boobies grow, but found that she had a malformed foot. :( poor ho

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

SOMETHING ABOUT "poor ho" made that the best commment ever.

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

OMG, how awesome is that? Kids get the best stuff. I find the injustice of this actually physically painful.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

ahaaahahahah THIS IS WHY I NEED TO OPEN MY PRN STORE, SO I CAN ORDER SEXY ONES.

[huesiemama.livejournal.com]

Magic animal pills, rock! My oldest got a magic lizard pill, it ended up about 5 inches long. He insisted we keep it in a jar for months, but it never changed.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I hear they make insane big ones.

[sthayashi.livejournal.com]

VIVI IS INTRIGUED AT MOMMY'S MAGIC FUCKING POWERS

Most disturbing caption? I have to admit that I am intrigued too. Are they similar to these powers?

On an unrelated note, we might actually have some of these kicking around (Magic grows, not magic fucking powers. Although.......). They're awesome, but I don't know what to do with a bunch of sponge animals. E prefers the miniature brick that turns into a washcloth. As she put it, not as exciting, but you do get a washcloth out of it. I always preferred the stuff that grew to mammoth proportions. Not as fast, but you could do it over and over and over again. I'm pretty sure I grew/shrunk one every day for 2 weeks.

Yeah, we were boring nerdy kids, just like how we're boring nerdy adults now.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

HAAAHAHAHA YES IT'S LIKE THOSE MAGIC POWERS.

[alt-baie.livejournal.com]

I get those for Baie at the "Everything is a Dollar" store all the time for her bath. We make it work faster by removing the capsule/gelatin bit. Then she tries to eat them. Or anything really. She's two today.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday, Baie Manet!

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

MWA HA HA! YES!

Awesome.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

IMMA MAKE ME MORE TONIGHT. AWWW SHEEEEIT.

[ab-n0rmal.livejournal.com]

Playing with toys is one of the best parts of spawning! Now mine's sixteen and we just watched Fight Club together! 21st century mother-daughter bonding FTW!

Oh, and now I've switched the Totoro ear-worm for Sunrise, Sunset. Thanks?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I AIM TO PLEASE. PRETTY MUCH MYSELF. MY KIDLET NEVER THINKS I'M FUNNY.