The Holy Land Experience
Dec. 18th, 2004 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amand_rSo, in an effort to do something completely off the wall, Tianyu and I decided to immerse ourselves in Christian Propaganda by going to The Holy Land Experience. I really can't explain it, and you really have to click on the link and surf around. It's basically, uhm, the Holy land. Select parts of the Holy land. Very select parts of the Holy Land. "Christian" parts of the Holy Land, with parts of the actual Holy Land mixed in. Or something. The punchline is that this place is two miles from our house.
So, after all the jokes about going to the Holy Land (you know, we're going to see the Palestinian children and tanks and flaming imams), we went inside.
I have heard a bunch of madrigals singing "Old English" Christmas songs that weren't in Old English, learned about the festival of lights, saw a model replica of Jerusalem 266 AD, and watched a Christmas Cantata with possibly the worst choreography ever in the history of human movement. Really. It was like bad para para while singing mild Rich Mullins songs whose lyrics have been written by a crack addicted evangelicist five year old.
Of course the real reason we went was to get Tianyu a head scarf.
And to see the camel. Two seconds after this picture was taken, the camel let loose the poo.
Oh, and a goat.
In the garden tomb, Tianyu is shocked, SHOCKED to discover that there is no body. Note the placque that informs us that his is not here because he is risen.
Then I was horribly attacked by mutant Christmas presents.
The above is a picture of the singing angels in the cantata. They are blurry because it was night and they were far away and very lit up, and also because, as Tianyu says, "They're angels, duh." I think they look like they're on fire.
Yeah, so this is how we waste our days. There were many many funny and positively unholy conversations, one of which was that we were going to start our own theme park called the Unholy Land, which will either feature the modern day holy land, or just a carnival of horrors in a post armageddon world, including the AntiChrist Hall of fame, in which we will have statues of every man ever purported to be the AntiChrist. I threw a big fit about the menu serving "Jaffa hot dog" platters, until Tianyu pointed out that they were Hebrew Nationals. I mean, because really, pork in the Holy Land? WHATever.
Dear god, we are insane.
So, after all the jokes about going to the Holy Land (you know, we're going to see the Palestinian children and tanks and flaming imams), we went inside.
I have heard a bunch of madrigals singing "Old English" Christmas songs that weren't in Old English, learned about the festival of lights, saw a model replica of Jerusalem 266 AD, and watched a Christmas Cantata with possibly the worst choreography ever in the history of human movement. Really. It was like bad para para while singing mild Rich Mullins songs whose lyrics have been written by a crack addicted evangelicist five year old.
Of course the real reason we went was to get Tianyu a head scarf.
And to see the camel. Two seconds after this picture was taken, the camel let loose the poo.
Oh, and a goat.
In the garden tomb, Tianyu is shocked, SHOCKED to discover that there is no body. Note the placque that informs us that his is not here because he is risen.
Then I was horribly attacked by mutant Christmas presents.
The above is a picture of the singing angels in the cantata. They are blurry because it was night and they were far away and very lit up, and also because, as Tianyu says, "They're angels, duh." I think they look like they're on fire.
Yeah, so this is how we waste our days. There were many many funny and positively unholy conversations, one of which was that we were going to start our own theme park called the Unholy Land, which will either feature the modern day holy land, or just a carnival of horrors in a post armageddon world, including the AntiChrist Hall of fame, in which we will have statues of every man ever purported to be the AntiChrist. I threw a big fit about the menu serving "Jaffa hot dog" platters, until Tianyu pointed out that they were Hebrew Nationals. I mean, because really, pork in the Holy Land? WHATever.
Dear god, we are insane.
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Date: 2004-12-19 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2004-12-19 02:47 am (UTC)I feel so ripped off. I live in Queensland and all we have to mock is this mutant Big Pineapple.
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Date: 2004-12-19 03:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2004-12-19 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-19 03:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-19 03:18 am (UTC)I like the pic of you in front of the presents, though-- cute shot. And I think I might have that same scarf... lime green fun fur? ^_^
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Date: 2004-12-19 05:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-19 06:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-19 05:40 pm (UTC)hmm, any biblical bad guys around?
Date: 2004-12-19 06:27 am (UTC)Re: hmm, any biblical bad guys around?
Date: 2004-12-19 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-19 07:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-19 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-19 06:50 pm (UTC)The 'Jaffa hot dogs' confused me - do they mean big hulking aliens with tattoos on their heads, oranges, orange flavoured chocolates, or orange flavoured chocolate cookies? IS this a brand name in the US?
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Date: 2004-12-19 07:21 pm (UTC)Jaffa....I guess they mean the city. Hot Dogs, you know, frankfurters. I wasn't sure if you were joking or not, but in just in case. I should have made an SG-1 joke while I was there. Why didn't I think of that?
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Date: 2004-12-20 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-20 02:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-20 03:07 am (UTC)I live up in Volusia County, and let me just say, I have now decided that I must make the 'pilgrimage' down to see the Holy Land Experience. Oh, and what an experience it shall be.
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Date: 2004-12-20 03:13 am (UTC)Good luck!
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Date: 2004-12-20 03:43 am (UTC)Here from metaquotes..
Firstly congradulations on getting metaed! Your quote was *priceless*.
Secondly..I can't believe such a thing exists. I love my faith but damn we get some of the worst converts/ideas ever. This ranks right up there with the Crusades and the Inquisition..I think my brain is bleeding. I hurt all over. >.<;;;
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Date: 2004-12-20 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-20 05:31 am (UTC)That is a pretty, fuzzy goat. Lookit the goat! Set the goat free! No, really. He wants to live under my bed.
(Yes, my brain has been set in neutral just to stare at these pictures, Thanks ever so.)
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Date: 2004-12-20 05:42 am (UTC)Just think, after all that time in the Holy Land, he's ready to be set free to tell people about the good word! Hee. A Bible-quoting goat cracks me up. Hee.
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Date: 2004-12-20 05:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-20 06:33 am (UTC)We passed it on our way there, though.
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Date: 2004-12-20 07:55 am (UTC)Re: re: the first pic
Date: 2004-12-20 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-20 03:03 pm (UTC)You realize now that your next trip has to be to the Precious Moments Chapel (http://www.preciousmoments.com) in Missouri, yes?
I stopped there midway through a road trip that began in New York and ended in Vegas. I think Vegas was a wise choice after the chapel.
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Date: 2004-12-20 04:22 pm (UTC)That's horrible. It burns us, it does!
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Date: 2004-12-20 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-20 10:00 pm (UTC)