highlander crimmas in july, biatches!

[amand_r]

Ugh. Woke up at 8 am with a migrain. Finally came out of the haze now and am in post-throbbing aurs. You all get an entry from the tin, today, kitties.

I did that stupid word meme again, but this time, blue_fjords gave me "genuine, loving, funny, original, shitbears"



genuine: I dunno. He's a good rapper and all, but I don't like people who spell their name like a bastardised word. Ginuwine.

No, I get you Blue-blue, and that's kind of flattering that you or anyone else thinks I might know anything about being genuine. I like to think that I don't have time to lie because I'm too busy being LOL. I know all about the blessed lies. I really do, but I don't have time to keep my narrative straight, and I don't get the point in us not being open with each other. We're all human and we all suck and rock and we love and fight and we get along and sometimes we don't. But we're human. People deserve your candor, they deserve your love, and they deserve fairness. And sometimes that genuineness, that truth, has to be softened, or held in reserve, but you can, I guess, be genuine without being malicious, because that's useless. It really is.

This moment was brought to you by Mr. Rogers.

loving: Now see, I haven't even begun to LOVE Blue-blue, because we didn't have a first date. So I don't know what she's taking about. I dunno. I have fandom love, and peep love. Like I 'Ginuwinly' care about ya'll, and if there is anything I can do for you people, I would, you know, unless it inconvenienced me. Like, I wouldn't drive your ass across the country or nothing, but I would email you a card or something, or mail you some cake in a jar. I might write you fic, if you asked. NO ONE EVER ASKS. THEY PROBABLY SHOULDN'T.

Is that love? Do we need to sing from Fiddler on the Roof now? Can I be Tevye? You can all be Golde. Wait, no for this to work, I have to be Golde, and you have to be Tevye. Shit! I look ridic in headscarves.

funny: That’s so amazingly subjective. I love funny. Really, and I think it takes talent. Like everyone is varying degrees of funny, and varying types of funny. But there's a reason there are comedians: some people are just universally good at it. It takes skill and timing, and pop culture and instinct. I like using it. I like playing you all like a keytar. A sexy keytar, like Cobra Starship's Vicki or that dude from Dragon Force. Hah, just the IDEA OF DRAGON FORCE WITH A KEYTARIST MAKES ME LOL UNCONTROLLABLY. Also say that out loud: LOL UNCONTROLLABLY.

HOLY SHIT. I just realised that I no longer say "ell oh ell". MILESTONE. It's party time.

I didn't answer the question, because it wasn't in the form of question.

original: There are lots of things that are original that are good. Popcorn is better in its original form: corn. On the cob. Dammit. Original recipe KFC. The Original Hot Dog Shop.

All shitting aside, I love doing something first. In fandom, I don't like to explore ideas if they've been done. You won't find me writing Janto food porn. Not unless a chest burster explodes from Jack's—nope, see, CoE. I want to write an idea that I haven't seen, or if I do, then I format it a different way. I pick tenses that aren't popular.

I like starting things too-- In HL I wrote this 2nd person fic, and then they started popping up everywhere. I started the Lyric Wheel and then they started reproducing by masturbation. It just happens. SOMEONE ALREADY USED 'HUB TUB' IN A FIC, AND I SAW THE AFGHAN AROUND, TOO. People be bitin' off me.

shitbears: SRSLY. OKAY. REALLY, WHEN YOU WATCHED COE, COULD YOU SAY ANYTHING BUT SHITBEARS? I MEAN, NO MATTER WHETHER YOU LIKED IT OR NOT, NO MATTER WHAT DAY YOU WATCHED, WHAT EPISODE, WHEN PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, HOW WAS IT?" YOU CAN THROW UP YOUR HANDS AND SAY, "SHITBEARS". AND YOU WOULD BE RIGHT.

OH SO HERE WE GO. AT COMIC CON SOMEONE ASKED JULIE GARDNER ABOUT THE MORGUE (WHATEVS) AND JANET AFTER THE HUB EXPLODED, AND SHE SAID THAT SHE THOUGHT A WEEVIL COULD DIG THEMSELVES OUT OF THE WRECKAGE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SAY TO THAT?

FUCKING SHITBEARS, THAT'S WHAT.

AW SHITBEARS! JANET LIVES, BITCHES!

kel_reiley tagged my ass for a fucking meme too. GODDAMN IT. THIS IS TAKING TIME AWAY FROM WRITING AND POSTING ABOUT DC.



Lots of pillows or just one? Wait, for what? Pillow fights? You come with two. Sleeping—two. Smothering someone like in a mob movie? One. Jumping off a building? Many, duct taped to your body. Are you a sofa? You need three for the back, three for the bottom.

What kind of books do you read? The ones with pages. ACTUALLY, I have a Sony ereader, so THE CAEK IS A LIE. Okay, I read urban fantasy, and whatever my cousin throws at me, which is usually important fictional best sellers, like, ::looks over at stack:: Augusten Burroughs and something about Newfoundland.

What are your most awesome skills? Uhm. I can hang a spoon off my nose. I can burn holes through shit. I'VE GOT LAZER EYES, MAN. IN THE FUTURE, YOU JUST HAVE TO UPGRADE YOURSELF.

What's your occupation? Momming. It's like Mumming, but with diapers.

What's really creepy? I feel like this question is rhetorical.

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction? Jack Harkness's cock and the places he puts it.

What flavor ice cream would you choose right now? Just an hour ago I chose way too much chocolate peanut butter ice cream, and now it sits in mah belleh and I am dissatisfied. SED NON SATIATA (see? I can be all literary and shit, bitches.) So I guess I won't be picking any ice cream, because them I might puke on the keys.

What websites do you always visit when you go online? Oh. LAME. THUMBS DOWN. Besides, the little tracker in my computer tells the FBI everything they need to know. HA HA HA CIA TRACKERS. FULL DISCLOSURE AND COOPERATION, MY ASS.

…Sometimes I look at the shit I type, and even I don't know where that was supposed to go.

What was the last thing you bought? A box of stationery cards for mah epistolary Torchwood fic.

What do you do to relax? Take Quaaludes.

Do you get cravings? If so, what do you crave? Oh my god, I was going to make a KD Lang joke here, and then I was like, "no one will get that, Amand-r. No one even remembers KD Lang except that she looks like female Kyle MacLachlan a little. Like srsly, they could be related. It's insane. I wish she would have been on Twin Peaks as like, his sister from the CIA. That would have made me LOL. On the other hand, Agent Cooper didn't have a sister, just an older brother who dodged the draft in Canada. That's probably why he had so much trouble at One Eyed Jacks. He didn't really respect his brother.

You should all read the book they wrote about Agent Cooper. It's fucking sweet.

Cravings? CONSTANT CRAVING.

What do you do to change your mood? QUAALUDES.

What is your zodiac sign? ::sigh:: You know, we think it's lame when people ask us that as a pick up line. Why should it be any more acceptable on a meme? Really, what could you POSSIBLY HOPE TO LEARN from this? Okay, I'm a Leo. I'm also a Dragon. Holy shit, I have a temper and I was born in the summer. I think this also means that everyone should listen to what I say and follow my orders. It's good to be king. Everything is so green! (If you get that movie reference, I'll French kiss you.)

Do you want to learn another language? I would say yes, but that would just make me feel bad that I haven't learnt Cantonese yet, so the answer is NO. NO I DO NOT. IN FACT, EVERYONE SHOULD SPEAK AMERICAN, BECAUSE I AM AN AMERICAN AND I AM ENTITLED AND SHIT.

I…I kid.

Five things you can't live without. spinal fluid, The Humpty Dance, coffee. This is hard. Actually, I can't live, if living is without you. Foreigner told me that. No wait, I think they wanted me to show them what love is. Or where they all out of love? Or maybe they couldn't fight this feeling anymore. Shit, who told me not to stop believing?

What's something you'd like to say to someone right now. Oops! Sorry!

What are you looking forward to? The computer screen.

Say something to the person who tagged you: kel_reiley, I bet you're wishing that you hadn't tagged me now, huh?

Lastly, because I am a shameless whore, I asked for five words from bodlon something about pennies and pounds. Himself gave me: Post-Its, purple, gravity, levity, burritos.



Post its: They're little, they're yellow, they're different. Do they even make Nuprin anymore? I like the post its because I like what they stand for—transient, impermanent. They are things you don't think about as you write on them. They're for jotting. Everything on them that you write is meant to be informal. Have you ever seen a post it note wedding invitation?

Oh. My. God.

So yeah, I like what they are—they're me blasting out at you in short bursts, imperfect, usually insane. Like paper twitter. Post its are paper Twitter.

purple: I do wear a lot of purple. I should examine that.

On the other hand, purple prose is something I try t avoid reading and writing. I'm probably better at avoiding the reading, I suppose.

What is purple supposed to be anyway? Regal or something? It makes me think of Julius Caesar, and how much I hated teaching that play. Kids don't care about the politics of Rome when they're in tenth grade (except you, oh flist, but you're all geeks and nerds. That's okay.)

gravity: Uhm. I like it, because it keeps my stuff on the ground, where I can get at it.

levity: Okay, so I use this word all the time, but when I saw it today my brain said, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. I am Inigo Montoya, you kill my father, prepare to die." So I looked it up to ensure that I am sane: lightness of mind, character, or behavior; lack of appropriate seriousness or earnestness.

Oh. Well. Okay. I like to think that I'm flip, but that I can be appropriately serious. Huh. Okay. Should I be more serious? Really? Do you people think I don't take shit seriously? I can do serious. I would prefer not to. Because folks, if I was forced to look at the world without the humor goggles again, I'd just drive my car off the guardrail and right down onto the road.

How's that for appropriate seriousness?

burritos: BECAUSE OF THIS I ATE AT TACO BELL LAST NIGHT. LIFTY, MY INDIGESTION WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.

I regret nothing! ::fist shake:: It was a really really good grilled stuft burrito, though. Really good. A++ would NOM again. It was filled with beans and steak and ::hand waves:: whatever.



If you ask, I'll give you words. But they're going to be completely random words that may or may not have anything to do with you. Or in English. Oooh! It could be like a scavenger hunt on the internets: "Goddammit, Amand-r gave me 'jin duei!' WTF WITH THAT!?"

Comments

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

You should all read the book they wrote about Agent Cooper. It's fucking sweet.

I have that book! It's definitely sweet. If there had been internetz then, I'd have written Twin Peaks fic.

You are very LOLarious. You can't say ell-oh-ell-arious. Ten times fast, anyway.

You should tag me with some werdz. :D

And here. Please enjoy this Mister Rogers:

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Mister Rogers is god here, man. Pittsburgh worships at the feet of Fred. Once, when his car was stolen, it made the news, because WTF? Who steals Mister Rogers' car? Two days later it was found untouched, parked in front of his house, with a note that said, "We didn't know it was yours."

THAT IS NOW MUCH WE LOVE FRED ROGERS.

I WROTE TWIN PEAKS FIC. One is log lady pre-series fic about how she gets the log, and the other is a crossover with buffy. Hrm. I think I might love the Log Lady too much.

I had to sing in a Mister Rogers musical review when I was in 6th grade. IT WAS IN PUBLIC.

[godofstrife.livejournal.com]

Jesus H Christ! You got bitchslapped with memes. How do get tagged with this stuff, anyhow?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

YOU ASK FOR IT.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

I am sorry about your indigestion! Also, I am very hungry right now, but only have $1.50 in my pocket because I am not sleeping well this week and had to buy a ZOMGHEARTATTACKINACAN when I got to work. Point and laugh while I suffer!

Nuprin! Ha-HA! You make me want to marry someone eventually just so that I can float the Post-It idea.

Humor goggles good. We are more alike than we are different in this regard. Yes.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Aw, I am sorry for your woes! HEARTATTACKINACAN, is that soda? RED BULL? THAT SHIT WILL KILL YOU, MAN. I pride myself on not even knowing what Red Bull tastes like.. For srs. In my head, I equate it with Power Bars and Gatorade in the taste arena: not good, and acquired.

God I wish the world was funnier these days. Sometimes it feel like it's too much work to laugh.

[lionessvalenti.livejournal.com]

I'M A LEO TOO. I'm a shitty Leo, though. As much as I worked hard to be overdue to get my August birthday, I would have made a much better Cancer.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

NO ONE WANTS TO BE CANCER.

I was three weeks late. I'm so effing lazy.

[curriejean.livejournal.com]

SOMEONE ALREADY USED 'HUB TUB' IN A FIC,

I WAS WONDERING if hub-tub was an original amand-r-ism or something generally fanon established. It's just too perfect.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I MADE IT UP. I TOTES MADE IT UP! THE PROOF IS ON TWU.

IT WAS TOO GOOD. I mean, wtf is that thing anyway? Rift pool? hub pool? I think I call it the reservoir pool. I dunno. IANTO CALLS IT THE HUB TUB.

I made them discuss it in a a fic I'm working on. Haahahaha.

[cupidsbow.livejournal.com]

I have totally adopted "shitbears" as the the name I use for CoE. It's so evocative of the CoE experience.

To stretch the metaphor to snapping point... You go into CoE thinking, "bears," you know: Janto Teddybears, mainly, but as it's TW, maybe also a few claws and grrrs here and there. But what you actually get are "shitbears." Shitbears are not cuddly. Shitbears are shaped like bears, but they have none of the redeeming features of real bears: they smell bad, are as useful as turds, and no-one wants to cuddle them.

Torchwood: season shitbears!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Oh, you have to LOVE THE SHITBEARS. They want cuddles!

I like to think of shitbears as horribly dirty and mean spirited Grateful Dead Bears:



They walk around like that, too.

[adjovi.livejournal.com]

This moment was brought to you by Mr. Rogers.
and
The Original Hot Dog Shop.

i think i'm a little in love with you. side note: did you ever notice that the o's pizza smells like vomit? they would always get it for law school functions, and we could always tell by the smell where the pizza came from. also? you can buy 40s until 2am!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

We once placed all the layers of Dante's Inferno in Pittsburgh, and I think layer seven was the bathrooms at the Oakland O.

I have never eaten an O's pizza! I GO THERE FOR THE FRIES. OMG THOSE FRIES WILL KILL YOU. Really, how does a whole deep fryer basket equate Large?

The best part about the O, really, is that on Friday and Saturday nights, the paddywagon just sets up across from it on that little stretch of concrete. They don't even wait for a call. They just sit there, because it'll happen.

TRUFACTS! I had to hit the deck once at the Beehive because the guns burst out in front of the O! It was hardcore! The only time I've ever been remotely near a shooting, so yeah, I'm a pussy. But I WAS VERY VERY GOOD: I HIT THE FLOOR LIKE JCVD. BITCHES.

Isn't it true, through, about Mister Rogers? It's hard to convey how Pgh can be all badass "FOOTBALL RAGHR HOCKEY --meh, baseball-- STEELWORKERS BITCHES WE PUT THE FRIES ON THE SANDWICH" and then on the end of it we're all, "Oooh, Mister Rogers says you're special! ♥!"

ne kadar?

[rodlox.livejournal.com]

give me words, please?

Re: ne kadar?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

foxes, Mossad, scalpels, pizza boxes, watches

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

I might write you fic, if you asked. NO ONE EVER ASKS. THEY PROBABLY SHOULDN'T.

i want you to write me fic
i want to hand you all my plot bunnies so you can nurture them into full grown, furry rabbits of actual plot (one of them could be that evil rabbit thing from the twilight zone movie)

LOL - i always always pronounced this (when reading it) and it always made me think of the sound that homer simpson makes when he starts drooling

shitbears! i just love that

o, mel brooks, he doesn't care what your zodiac sign is, he wants you to get a picture of him tattooed on your ass

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Oh holy shitbears, you got the movie reference! I think I love you! I should write you fic. I have a MANDY fic for you, but it is stalled b/c of looming deadlines. :(

[used_songs]

Today when I accidentally dropped a cinderblock on my finger I said, "Shitbears!" and it helped. It really did.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

SHITBEARS WORKS EVERY TIME.

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

Will you write me Snape/Dumbledore? Coz otherwise, I'm gonna have to. Not that this is a bad thing, but I don't want to feel alone.

Also, can I have words? Sexy sexy words? Kel gave me some already but I dicked around with them. I could stand to dick some more.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I will try to write you Snape/Dumbledore. In the meantime, have some Fumbledore (http://tripperfunster.deviantart.com/art/Sleepover-75384553).

WORDS: bionics, horseshoes, vodka, BIGASSGUN, joviality

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

Oh, and also, SHITBEARS is completely part of my normal daily vocab now. I love it.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

HAAAHAHAHAAHAHA. BOW TO MY WHIMSY.

[misswinterhill.livejournal.com]

OMG Fiddler on the Roof reference FTW!

Do you love me...?

But then everyone has to get kicked out of Anatevka and emote about how depressing that is. Oh, the emotion.

I &hearts when people bite from others. It means they have a voice in the fandom.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

WHEN PEOPLE BITE FROM ME AN DON'T GIVE ME CREDIT WHEN IT IS SOMETHING BIG. GANKING MY TEXT FOR THE LYRIC WHEEL AND NOT CREDITING? Bad eye. Using hub tub? I so don't care.

All I want to know is when we do that Bottle Dance thing from the wedding. I have been practicing.