a blatant misfiring of the local language

[amand_r]

1. mrsalemp rescued a set of Swainson's Hawks and named one of them Captain Jack Hawkness. It's pretty sweet, except that the second one, whom she almost named Ianto, died (he was pretty hurt when they rescued and turned him over,TBF), and now Jack apparently has West Nile Virus and refuses to eat. OH MY GOD THE PARALLELS (that I drew in my head in the manner of a crazy person who sees her own life in the three line horoscope in the paper). Patelyne has pics in her LJ, though, and bonus: THE VET CANNOT TELL WHETHER JACK IS A BOY OR GIRL. PART OF ME FINDS THAT HYSTERICAL. Pat, your story totes made my day.

2. kalichan asked for the post-it, so I made it. rm, I tried to put you in a suit. Also, smirnoffmule! WE ARE IMMORTALISED!



3. The kidlet and I are…we're having serious talks about chocolate milk, and how we cannot have it all the time. It's Ovaltine, not chocolate milk, BTW. I hate that shit like burning. Nastay. Anyway. It goes like this:

Mommy: Do you want a drink?
Viola: Scotch and soda.
Mommy: Think again.
Viola: Chocolate milk? (which is really just, "chocomilk?")
Mommy: You had some with lunch. How about juice?
Viola: KITTY REJECTS YOUR OFFERING ::headspinning:: YOUR MOTHER'S IN HERE WITH US, CARIS. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.
Mommy: Ohhhhhh kay. ::sets cup of white milk on the table::
Viola: IF I HAD THE RING, THE UNIVERSE WOULD BE MINE TO CONTROL. ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR.
Mommy: Go to your chair.

Later:

Mommy: Do you want a drink? (see how I set myself up for this shit?)
Viola: Chocomilk?
Mommy: No, I don't think so.
Viola: CHOCOMILK.
Mommy: Yeah, 'kay. ::hands her a cup of water::
Viola: ::looking at the cup of water:: Nooooo! (as she does this she runs away, hands flailing, like a muppet)
Mommy: Go to your chair.
Viola: ::is already in the chair:: I'M DONE. AHAAAHAHAHGHRHGHAH I'M DONE.
Mommy: Obviously if you're screaming about being done then you're not done.
Viola: I'M BLOGGING ABOUT THIS WHEN I GET OLDER.
Mommy: I ALREADY BEAT YOU TO IT, CUPCAKE.
Viola: You're the reason I'm in therapy!
Mommy: Haahahahaha welcome to the human race.

Ours is a loving relationship.

4. Just for you. (h/t kwanalicious)

5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ME. (h/t, sthayashi)

6. 51stcenturyfox, here's your sexy Mermaid song, courtesy of Great Big Sea.

7. Die Trufachts: for the past three nights in a row, one of my recurring dreams involves me trying, and failing to correctly install my shower curtain rod.

Comments

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD, THE LAST TIME I WAS IN CHURCH WAS FOR MY HUSBAND'S FUNERAL, AND THE LADIES THERE WANTED TO TAKE ME INTO THE KITCHEN AND LAY HANDS ON ME IN PRAYER.

You said many interesting things, but that was what popped out of my head and into this little box.