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amand_rI think it is safe to say that I wish that computers were easier to understand.
I bought a new computer in March. It is spiff. It has 400 GB. FOUR HUNDRED. My old computer is still puttering along, because it's where I keep my iTunes for reasons that have much to do with the fact that I am too lazy to transfer my music library. I also download things from the internet with the ye olde computer, so that she can take the viruses that I m sure she might catch in the manner of a historical whipping boy.
But see, the new computer, a delicate flower, has been acting up. It started with things here and there "encountering an error" and needing to be closed. It was never anything that I a) recognised or b) cared about (except for a few times that it was something to do with my sound, and then I rebooted and it was fine.), so I did what all good morons do and I ignored it, because I like to think that these things magically resolve themselves. I often find myself explaining the inner workings of my computer in the manner of Geoffrey Rush in Shakespeare in Love: 'It's a mystery.'
Anyway, I installed Word 97. Shut up. I love Word 97. It worked for a while. It still works. But see, lately at least once a week the computer runs diskcheck when I start it up, and then when I tried to open Word, it would tell me that some registries were jacked and to run the install disk again.
OKAY, so then I thought, "well I'll install the updates and see if that doesn't fix some of this shit. This has to be all Vista's fault. When isn't it Vista's fault?" Oh hell, this is all long and shitty and I already told everyone I know.
Anyway, the updates failed, then error reporting failed. Microsoft gave me a complicated set of maneuvers to perform that involved washing the computer in a silver basin by the light of the moon with an Alco-pop. The problem seemed to be resolved, and the updates installed. Computer restarted. Then I got the FUCKED UP ERROR OF WTFERY on the black screen:
!! xc0190036 !! 2690/88709 (PresentationNative_v0300.ddl)
Srsly, what the hell does that even mean? I shut down manually. When I restarted, I downloaded 95Prime and ran stress tests. My memory passed. My hardware passed. I uninstalled firefox and reinstalled.
Still unresolved: Firefox, whenever it feels like it, goes non-responsive (quite a lot last night, like every time I clicked anything with the browser open), and when I open the task manger, it's using some riCOCKulous amount of memory, like 675,390K. WTFERY?
ALSO UNRESOLVED: When you get one of these new-fangled HP pavillions and hook them up to a HP printer, they download all the drivers themselves. It's sweet. BUT NOW MY WORD WILL NOT PRINT TO MY PRINTER (some number error with lots of 00's and exceptions) EVEN THOUGH IT WILL PRINT TO ALL THE OTHER PRINTERS. It closes down Word entirely and I have to reopen it.
I think I have the answer. It's frightfully obvious:
When I bought the computer I didn't name it. Much like Adam naming the beasts of the garden to demonstrate his supremacy, I didn't name my computer, and now she's an uppity, high maintenance, bridezilla bitch. Oh, let's be fair, I haven't checked its gender. He could be an uppity, high maintenance, groomzilla bastard.
Must think of a good name, stat.
(And thank you to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sthayashi who talked me down last night. Also 51stcenturyfox who sent me the right thing at the right time and was in general understanding when I freaked out about all this in her chat window.)
I bought a new computer in March. It is spiff. It has 400 GB. FOUR HUNDRED. My old computer is still puttering along, because it's where I keep my iTunes for reasons that have much to do with the fact that I am too lazy to transfer my music library. I also download things from the internet with the ye olde computer, so that she can take the viruses that I m sure she might catch in the manner of a historical whipping boy.
But see, the new computer, a delicate flower, has been acting up. It started with things here and there "encountering an error" and needing to be closed. It was never anything that I a) recognised or b) cared about (except for a few times that it was something to do with my sound, and then I rebooted and it was fine.), so I did what all good morons do and I ignored it, because I like to think that these things magically resolve themselves. I often find myself explaining the inner workings of my computer in the manner of Geoffrey Rush in Shakespeare in Love: 'It's a mystery.'
Anyway, I installed Word 97. Shut up. I love Word 97. It worked for a while. It still works. But see, lately at least once a week the computer runs diskcheck when I start it up, and then when I tried to open Word, it would tell me that some registries were jacked and to run the install disk again.
OKAY, so then I thought, "well I'll install the updates and see if that doesn't fix some of this shit. This has to be all Vista's fault. When isn't it Vista's fault?" Oh hell, this is all long and shitty and I already told everyone I know.
Anyway, the updates failed, then error reporting failed. Microsoft gave me a complicated set of maneuvers to perform that involved washing the computer in a silver basin by the light of the moon with an Alco-pop. The problem seemed to be resolved, and the updates installed. Computer restarted. Then I got the FUCKED UP ERROR OF WTFERY on the black screen:
!! xc0190036 !! 2690/88709 (PresentationNative_v0300.ddl)
Srsly, what the hell does that even mean? I shut down manually. When I restarted, I downloaded 95Prime and ran stress tests. My memory passed. My hardware passed. I uninstalled firefox and reinstalled.
Still unresolved: Firefox, whenever it feels like it, goes non-responsive (quite a lot last night, like every time I clicked anything with the browser open), and when I open the task manger, it's using some riCOCKulous amount of memory, like 675,390K. WTFERY?
ALSO UNRESOLVED: When you get one of these new-fangled HP pavillions and hook them up to a HP printer, they download all the drivers themselves. It's sweet. BUT NOW MY WORD WILL NOT PRINT TO MY PRINTER (some number error with lots of 00's and exceptions) EVEN THOUGH IT WILL PRINT TO ALL THE OTHER PRINTERS. It closes down Word entirely and I have to reopen it.
I think I have the answer. It's frightfully obvious:
When I bought the computer I didn't name it. Much like Adam naming the beasts of the garden to demonstrate his supremacy, I didn't name my computer, and now she's an uppity, high maintenance, bridezilla bitch. Oh, let's be fair, I haven't checked its gender. He could be an uppity, high maintenance, groomzilla bastard.
Must think of a good name, stat.
(And thank you to
sthayashi who talked me down last night. Also 51stcenturyfox who sent me the right thing at the right time and was in general understanding when I freaked out about all this in her chat window.)
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 11:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 12:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 01:53 am (UTC)Honestly, I would be surprised if there's anything wrong with your hardware at all. Most likely Vista is 1) corrupted (your ddl problem is probably a dll problem, which wouldn't surprise me) or 2) just a flaming piece of crap. Except that 2 is Vista by definition...
I just did a search, it seems like if you CAN get Word 97 to play with Vista, the only way you are going to fix the issue with the printing is if you install it as admin (but I only heard one person say that worked). Also, that people have had more luck with getting 95 to work than 97 on Vista. Honestly, I think I would have more luck with getting 97 to work on Linux than on any of the newer versions of Windows.
If you have a copy of XP, I would reinstall.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 02:01 am (UTC)2. 97 has been working well for me, except for that corrupt database thing, which I fixed by reinstalling, and not printing thing, which just started last week. I've been printing with it for months. Most frustrating.
I wish I had a copy of XP. I have it on my old computer, and compared to this shit, it's a dream, and I hated it too. Fuckers.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 02:15 am (UTC)2) You had 97 printing with Vista before?
no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 02:17 am (UTC)2. Yeah, until last week, 97 printed just fine on this computer.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 02:42 am (UTC)It sounds like you have some kind of dll issue.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 08:50 pm (UTC)