Day Two in productive blogging. No, really!

[amand_r]

Blogging by numbers:

1. For the love of god, can someone explain the meaning of 'pimps down; hos up'?

2. Why aren't more people giving edIT money? GIVE HIM MONEY, PEOPLE.

3. If I was a Vulcan, I'd want my name to be T'Porn. Still.

4. I am stuck in a Thai food rut: Tom Ka Gai and Tod Mon Pla. STILL.

5. Both of the above sound like awesome Pokemon.

6. It is raining here. I'm wearing a sweater. A sweater. This is made of win.

7. I don't know if I informed all those who knew, but the quest for insurance is over. My appeal was accepted, and I now have insurance with the kidlet for five hundred dollars less a month than I was paying before. WTF. I should have done this ages ago.

8. So, those who are on SS get a $250 stimulus in June. I don't know what the point of that is. BUT, I thought about it, and I have decided that I am going to STIMULATE the economy. ::makes the finger fucking gesture:: If you know what I mean. So far, I have blown $100 on this. And WOW. Okay, so I guess I should offer a review.



So I don't have a lot of experience with vibrators, people. This is the first one I have ever owned. Don't look at me funny; I have reasons. Usually it's because I had a live thing to deal with, but now not so much.

The cone is not….penetrative. The base of it is 7.5 inches in diameter. THIS IS JUST FINE WITH ME. It has 16 settings, and you can cycle through them, or just cut straight to level 16, aka "ORGASM," and I say that with humor, because really, it's terrifying. I think I laughed hysterically the whole time. WHUM WHUM WHUM WRRRRRRRRRRRR WHUM WHUM WHUM NGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGT. It takes 3 C batteries. THREE C BATTERIES.

Am I glad I bought it? Oh yeah. It's fun. If you're happy with your vibrator (I just couldn't get the rabbit thing, mostly because of the rabbit ON THE VIBRATOR. NO, PEOPLE, NO INTERSPECIES EROTICA FOR ME.), then I'd say, well, no, it's pricey. But if you see the website, they have a few neat ideas, especially for couples. It's easily washable.

NITPICK: the company, which I believe is British (and I don't know if that is the reason here), has incorrectly described the threading in the instructions. When trying to unscrew the bottom to get to the battery slot, I ended up tightening it. Because in America, it's RIGHTY-TIGHTY, LEFTY-LOOSY. And that is how it's threaded. So if you get one, disregard the instructions and do it the American way.

With my plan to STIMULATE the economy well underway, I plan to blow the rest of it on booze and hookers. No really, probably more toys and decent lube.



9. My mum is currently on her way to Alnwick Castle, doing Harry Potter squeeing and in general being adorable. Something about Wales (no cannibals! Hooray!) and puppies. For those of you who follow her exploits as joanwilder, here is a pic of her up to no good.

10. She also sent me a pic of my future house.

11. WHUM WHUM WHUM WRRRRRRRRRRRR WHUM WHUM WHUM NGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGT.

Comments

[kickair8p.livejournal.com]

"With my plan to STIMULATE the economy well underway, I plan to blow the rest of it on booze and hookers. No really, probably more toys and decent lube."

Remember -- no silicon-based lube on your Cone! (Yes, I read the promos.) I'm still hung up on "hundred-dollar vibrator!?!?!" But if they come out with one in a nice warm shade of green, I'm in trouble.

~

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

YES, I KNOW. I KNOW ABOUT THE LUBE.

[irishkate.livejournal.com]

I own a rabbit - he is in the library - he doesn't take batteries though he would sniff them if I left them on the ground. He likes cabbage and eating my curtains.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

LOL. Don't get me wrong, I understand the point of the rabbit, I just don't know why they were like, 'let's shape it like a rabbit! The ladies like rabbits!'

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

Well...I own a rabbit. (And a hot pink dildo the size of my forearm and a minivibe) and I have to say I like the rabbit. It's also hot pink.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I own many dildos and other things, but strangely no harness for them. That should be on my list.

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

It should! Also, I think the reason why all my dildos are pink is because: think pink, think dink.

I dunno. Possibly, I'm crazy.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Okay. Mine are mostly purple. I don't recall the reason for that.

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

Because nurples are purple?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I don't think I gave it that much thought.

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

I didn't really think about it either. I only noticed after that my collection was all hot pink. Seriously. Hot. Pink.

[crowie.livejournal.com]

Alnwick castle? The one in Northumbria that had bits of Potter filmed in it?

I've done sword demos there a few times (even the only time ever I've got a wound that bled from a sword happened there, I still have a small scar) They have a raptor show there too sometimes which is cool to watch, and the castle itself is beautiful.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what it's called! Yeah, she's doing the happy Harry Potter thing with her fannish friend. I'm sure they're geeking out right now.

Man, my brain is obviously in a wrong place, since by 'raptor' I'm sure you meant 'bird of prey,' but my brain was like, 'Velociraptors? In the UK? AWESOME.'

[moljn.livejournal.com]

You're not the only one.

And I'm glad to hear that your mother got to go on her trip. She'll have an awesome time, I'm sure.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, she's having a good time. When she has the computer on, gchat video function is a great feature!

[sanginmychains.livejournal.com]

Good sex toys -- not cheap. But well worth the price of admission. I mean, if you count it as minutes of happiness per dollar, then sex toys are up there with nice yarn.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I actually didn't really blink at the price. I did blink at the price of the feelDoe that I want, but that's because the online store I was perusing them in had marked it up.

[moljn.livejournal.com]

I have a vibrating thing (not a dildo) and I can't bring myself to use it because even though it's very silent, the whirr is still so damn distracting. Maybe I should put on some Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds (hey, that music is hot!) to mask it.

If you're in the market for more sex toys, I recommend Fun Factory (http://www.funfactory.de/usa/index.php?SPID=3); their stuff is just damn nice-looking, for one (and not all of it has faces, though i do think the anal bead caterpillar is adorable).

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

They look awesome, but they'd have to have something really good for me to order from overseas. :( So expensive. OH WAIT! NO! AMERICAN! YES!

Yeah, the Cone is REALLY loud. I just had to lie back and think of uhm, yeah.

[moljn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was just about to respond with that :-)

[moljn.livejournal.com]

Actually, just looking through their site myself, I kind of want to buy half of everything. Pretty shapes! Pretty colours! But how many phallic-shaped sex toys does one person need, really.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I only need one!

[milkshake-b.livejournal.com]

Earplugs are lifesavers if you've got self-consciousness problems like that. (Or waterproof vibes in the shower, which drowns them out.)

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

See, now, that's good to know! I have some of those.

[moljn.livejournal.com]

Thanks, for some reason I hadn't even thought of that! Will have to try it.

[milkshake-b.livejournal.com]

I've got friends with severe problems with the rabbit as well for just those reasons, and it's lead to me poking around a lot and finding out that yes, there are some rabbits with non-animal-kingdom attachments, but they're really weirdly rare. And meanwhile there's things like this:
http://www.shevibe.com/fun-factory-whirly-silicone-dildo.aspx
I don't have a problem with animal attachments on my vibrators, but that's just going to far, man. I'm not sticking a perky happy seal up my ladyparts. I'm just not.

Although it's funny you've done that with your SS money, since I'm spending some of mine on a bisexual porn film from Blowfish. (Lesbian with a cape and a utility belt full of sex toys? I'm curious now, at least.) Maybe the checks were coated with sex-dust this time around?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

There was another one on there that has hands. HANDS.

I know, rite? I was like, THE MAN wants me to STIMULATE the economy? Well, I'll STIMULATE IT, GODDAMMIT.

[sivatheminty.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, interesting. I have a couple of toys one of which is a rabbit knockoff, but they generally lay dusty in the closet as birth control kills all fun time urges. We'll see what happens once Child is born, since I don't plan on taking that shit again.

on a side note....

PUPPEH ZOMG PUPPEH!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, like I said, I never had a vibrator before. I have never been on the pill either. I have issues with taking hormones, and I don't have a period that needs to be regulated that way, so I figured that I'd rather not mess with my body that way. But I totes support anyone's choice to take the pill!

OMG PUPPEH. I told her that she can't bring them home with her.

[sivatheminty.livejournal.com]

:( Sadness, lab puppies are the greatest...until they grow up.

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

That cone looks nice! I find penetration to be more distracting than fun with a vibrator, so that's just perfect.

SUPPOSEDLY, the reason for the rabbit motif is that in Japan, where they are made, it was against the law to make them look like a cock. But what, a RABBIT is any better?

This is my local store for that stuff.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, babeland, I know you well, but have never ordered from you.

I believe the Japanese thing. Isn't there something similar in Texas? Jesus people, get over it; people need to get off.

[arsenicjade.livejournal.com]

PUPPPPPY!!!!

[emquilxy.livejournal.com]

Watch out when you move into your future home. Last time I looked there was a long-haired, blue-faced Mel Gibson living there. And he was suffering from end-stage Mel Gibson Disease.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT. WHAT WAS I THINKING.

I'd need one hell of an exterminator for that. Nah wait, just the English.