Good things come in threes:

[amand_r]

1. I AM FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE! MY LIFE! I am currently locked in a duel to the death with darthhellokitty. ::weep:: Layna, I luve you and all, but uhm, it IS the Gathering.

Go vote for me! Wah!

2. I woke up this morning and found that evildrem had gifted me with paid livejournal time! Muwah! Muwah! I shall have to write thankful muffin fic. Because as Tyne Daly says, "Cookies are bribes, and we are against them in most cases. But muffins say 'thank you' and we are all for them." Good to know I'm getting my manners education from "Judging Amy." I bet Tyne never imagined that thank you muffins could be used in sex play, though. *veg*


3. Because I am not teaching full time anymore, I am no longer able to tell my funny stories to thirty captive fascinated teenagers at a time. You'll have to do. I present:

How NOT to take a shower:

Amand-r: La la la… *turns on tap, starts shower with hot water*
Censors: all kinds of things are happening here: washing, scrubbing, blah blah.
Amand-r: *singing opera and conditioning hair* This is my boooooooooox!
Hot Water: I'm done now.
Amand-r: That's okay, I was finished anyway. *turns off tap*
Towel: I'm here to dry you. Hey hey HEY! What's that gunk in your hair?
Amand-r: What gunk? *reaches up to touch hair* Oh! I forgot to rinse out the conditioner!
Hot Water: Dude, I'm gone, sorry.
Amand-r: *rinsing* Coldcoldcoldcoldcold….

Some would say the moral of the story is to make sure you rinse immediately after conditioning instead of wasting time singing Amahl and the Night Visitors. I say the moral is to not take a shower with personificated objects. But it's a by product of living so close to Disney. Everything fucking talks down here.

Computer: Watch your language.
Amand-r: Yeah whatever. Stop being so goddamn slow.
Computer: You seem to have a lot of hostile energy built up. Perhaps you would like to sing a soothing song…daisy, daisy…

Oh yeah, and a Meme, because uh. uh.

Amand-r in Rebel Without Applause

In this compelling kill-fest, amand_r (Andie MacDowell) is a respected FBI agent with a pet squirrel. She elects to get to tianyu (Billy Zane) before her nemesis, danawoods (Halle Berry), outwits him. Following a conversation that seems to justify all violence, she sneaks into an underground facility. See it because all of your friends will.

Produced by ianiceboy

Comments

[earthly-gnome.livejournal.com]

Andie MacDowell. Isn't she like a foot and a half taller then you?

Bilie Zane as Ti. Nice. I think I like Ti's ass better though.

Halle Berry as my wife who is also your nemesis-es-ese. Interesting.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Chuckalicious, EVERYONE is taller then me. Except that guy from Fantasy Island. I am sure that you are enjoying the Halle Berry factor. Have fun.