Fic: High Water Mark (J/I sassy fluff for [livejournal.com profile] husiemama)

Jan. 21st, 2010 01:20 pm
amand_r: (torchwood/ianto is crushing)
[personal profile] amand_r
Title: High Water Mark
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Rating: R (for sex!)
Wordcount: 1,630 words
Author's Notes: Okay so this is for [livejournal.com profile] husiemama who snapped me up for the lightning round of [livejournal.com profile] help_haiti. She wanted Jack/Ianto sassy alone time. You got some, Missy!
Confession: Sam gave me the title. Only slightly behind this was Anya's Grout Expectations.
Summary: Two men. One bathtub. Mister Bubble. No dignity.




"I think my exact words were, 'I remember this being sexy'."

"I think when you said that, you were remembering times in a larger tub, possibly by yourself. Or with a smaller person." Ianto hunched over so that he didn't scrape his back on the tap. He scrunched his shoulders and tried to get as low to the waterline as possible, and the mountains of bubbles hid the lower half of his face. His knees poked out of the water, and he was sure that if he moved his feet up any further, they would encounter flesh that wasn't his.

Jack hung one leg over the side of the tub, water dripping from his toes, a tectonic plate of bubbles sliding down his leg to join with another, Pangaea right there on his calf, before it dripped onto the floor. "I think I might be remembering Pretty Woman, instead," he said, grinning and slipping down the back of the tilted tub wall. He frowned. "Is there something rough on the bottom?"

Ianto reached for the loofah. "Those would be the no-slip flowers the landlady put down in nineteen fifty-five." By now, Jack was taking up sixty-five percent and Ianto was getting thirty. The last five-percent was taken up by metal fixtures and soap scum. He didn't get to see the bottom of his tub this closely very often. The grout was actually rather frightening close-up.

Jack wiggled his arse and the water sloshed so violently that it hit Ianto's lowered face and went up his nose. "Why are we doing this again?" he said after spluttering in surprise and ramming his feet into the flesh of Jack's arse. Jack sat up and his leg flailed a bit and then he lost his grip and slipped totally down in the water as far as he could go until his head was under and his arse pushed Ianto back. Ianto felt his skin scrape off in between his shoulder blades when it grated against the lip of the tap.

It took a few seconds, but finally they sat across from each other, knees drawn, staring. Jack's face was damp, and Ianto rubbed his back, sure that his fingers would come away bloody, but they were clean. Okay, it just hurt.

"You know," Ianto said, raising a hand to look at the bubbles cascading down his arm. "I can't help but think that this…thing that I was talked into here was a romantic gesture that you sketched on paper in your head without thinking about physics. Or geometry."

Jack set his chin on his knees and smiled. "Of course I thought about it. You're not thinking outside the box."

Ianto raised and eyebrow. "I think I'd prefer to be thinking outside the tub."

"Is this the part where I say, 'Oh, Mister Jones, I prefer you not think at all'?" Jack reclined and hooked his leg over the tub edge again. "Because you know I find your brain devilishly sexy."

Ianto sighed. "'Devilishly sexy', how droll." Jack leaned forward and turned his face in his hands so that he could see himself in the mirror on the back of the door. Somehow all the splashing and humidity had curled some of his hair so that there were matching cowlicks protruding from either side of his head. "Huh."

Jack leaned back a third time and straightened his other leg, forcing Ianto to scoot the three free millimetres to the right. "Oh come off it and come here."

Ianto made a face. He could feel it on his skin, the way his muscles pulled and his tongue stuck out. Jack did the 'come hither, moron' fingers, bending his index and middle fingers at the largest joint and sighing loudly before Ianto raised himself up on his knees long enough for Jack to grab him, and he fell right on top of the man, almost a full body slam in some ways.

Jack made a grunting sound. "More graceful, was what I had in mind. That was too close to my junk."

Ianto rolled his eyes, but slid down and slightly to the side. If he bent his knees, and Jack shifted over just a little he could be pressed to Jack's chest a little, under his arm and sort of against his side. One of his arms was trapped in the manner of all trapped arms when curled up against someone, but his free hand rested on Jack, and he flipped his palm over to look at his fingertips while Jack manipulated his almost crushed tender parts with is other hand.

"Next time just trust me, and I won't have to force you."

"I can't help but notice that all the hurting happened to you," Ianto said dryly, and then licked a bit of soap bubbles from a nearby nipple. Jack sucked in a breath. "It's as if you should have learnt a life lesson from this."

Jack reached down in the water and groped for Ianto's cock, finding it semi-hard. "I'll have to try harder," he squeezed Ianto's cock and snickered while Ianto found his (it wasn't difficult; it was about a foot from Ianto's face), palming the softness to make it hard.

"What life lesson," Jack murmured, starting a new thread as he gasped when Ianto played idly with his foreskin. His hand squeezed mercilessly on Ianto's cock. Oh god, Jack knew him too well, Ianto thought, that he could do this, just this, and know he could bring him in short order.

"What life lesson," Jack continued thirty seconds later, still working Ianto and thrusting his hips as minutely as he could, which was pretty minute, seeing as how he was partially pinned down and horizontally wedged hip-wise into a small space. "Is this teaching me?"

Ianto bit a little at the skin in front of him as he ground his hips into Jack's side, into his hand, his own free hand hooked around Jack's neck for leverage, the hand underneath him curling its fingernails under the edge of a very old no-slip flower. He didn't have a ready answer for Jack and he certainly didn't care, not when the fingers on his dick were almost crushing and still they moved, and he tried to mimic the opposite of that with his hand, because he appreciated the appeal of simultaneous opposites sometimes.

All things said and done, a double handjob in a singlewide trailer of a bathtub with Jack was pretty much a satisfying end of the day, and he didn't have to clean up, because they were already in the water. He blinked lazily as Jack made more bubbles by shaking his hand in the water very quickly to rinse off, well--come on, Jack, semen wasn't that viscous.

"Does this bubble soap count as actual soap?" Ianto mused. He tried to remember where he would have got this. Had it been stashed in the back of the undersink? No, of course not. Lisa used to keep things like that, but she never lived here, she--

"You didn't bring this bubble bath with you, did you?" Ianto said. "I mean, of course you did. I don't have that kind of—"

Jack reached over the edge of the tub and pulled the bottle up to read the label. "I saw it in Boots. Mister Bubble." He winked at Ianto. "Mister. It's guy bubble bath."

Ianto decided that being on the sort of top was all right, but now his back was cold. He rocked them both to make the water wave up over his back. "I don't think that's what they mean by that."

Jack opened the bottle and let a rivulet of pink spill down into the water, where it could coil rope-like for a few seconds before dispersing. "Does it matter? Really? Here?" He drew a line of the pink soap on Ianto's upper arm and shoulder. "I mean, do you think your landlady knows, that right now we're in this bathtub, two grown men, and a bottle of…." Jack's voice drifted off, sailed out of his mouth through the room, and Ianto could almost catch it in his hand like a floating errant soap bubble.

"No, Jack, it's not lubricant."

"He looks so jolly."

"He's jolly because he's for children, not because he's excited at the prospect of you using him as a sexual prop."

"I know, I was just thinking."

Ianto pressed his cheek into Jack's shoulder, now a little clammy from being wet and out of he water for so long. "This has been the most unproductive bath in history," he said. "No one was cleaned, no one was relaxed, and no one was warmed."

"Speak for yourself," Jack answered, snapping the lid to the bottle shut, tossing it all off onto the bathroom floor and using a flannel to rinse Ianto's shoulder. "That part is very clean."

"It was an important part, I wager," Ianto said around a yawn. He was going to fall asleep here, and for once, he couldn't drown, because there was no possible way he could slip under the water. Comforting thought, that, he decided as he closed his eyes.

Jack dipped the flannel and soaked it, and Ianto heard the steady drizzle of water as he pulled it out again, and then the warm sensation of it raining down on his cold, exposed back. Ianto curled his toes a little and shifted, his free arm resettling on Jack's chest. "All parts are important," Jack whispered, his hand moving to submerge the flannel again before he brought it up to pour down Ianto's skin a second time, and again, until Ianto lost track of it, and drifted, floating but grounded, cold but warm, dead but sleeping, and content, this time, for now, always content.

END

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Date: 2010-01-21 07:04 pm (UTC)
ext_47419: (Default)
From: [identity profile] cruentum.livejournal.com
I want to have a bath with Jack. It looks like it would be fun! I do like how Ianto's the stroppy little bitch in this and then sorta comes around to the idea of it when yknow it sorta works (I didn't want to say when someone has a hand on his dick, but ... yeah). I did like how you took the bathtub stuff/trope (is it a trope?) and made it work for the two of them, in that kind of realistic-bath approach and I liked the bubbles (Why do Mr Bubble's crotch bubbles look like a dick? That's disturbing).

"This has been the most unproductive bath in history," he said. "No one was cleaned, no one was relaxed, and no one was warmed."

LOL at Ianto.

Date: 2010-01-21 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
YOU LEAVE MISTER BUBBLE ALONE. HE'S FOR KIDS.

Hahahah seriously, those bathtubs aren't even big enough for a person,let alone 2 grown men. It was time we explored that.

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Date: 2010-01-21 07:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merucha.livejournal.com
You know, it's very difficult to explain to one's co-workers why one is giggling madly when one is supposed to be working on a bunch of boring old records...

Date: 2010-01-21 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Tell them you have Kuru, the laughing disease. Of course, this means you've been eating people, so it really depends on how you want to be perceived by your co-workers.

Hee!

Date: 2010-01-21 07:42 pm (UTC)
ext_367923: (Default)
From: [identity profile] easilymused1956.livejournal.com
This is so much fun. Poor Ianto, stuck on the faucet end. I guess Jack got the 'good' end 'cause he was the guest? Lalala

OMG, Mr. Bubble's bubbles do look like a penis!

Renee

Date: 2010-01-21 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Jack got the good end because Ianto wants to control the water flow!

YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL SICK. :D

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Date: 2010-01-21 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] etmuse.livejournal.com
You know, I've always rather thought that people must need supersized baths in order to comfortably enjoy one with 2 people in it...

...guess it's possible to find ways to enjoy yourself even in a normal one, if you use your imagination. And aren't too fussy about what sort of enjoying goes on.

(Though not mine. I don't even have a normal sized bath. It's only about 3/4 sized. I don't fit into it on my OWN.)

Date: 2010-01-21 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
HAAAHAHAH Two pwoplw can squeeze into one, but it's rather like packing yourself into a sardine can, large Rubbermaid outdoor storage unit, or oh, say, an RAF camp bed: side by side is out, but one person can lay ON the other.

Not that. Okay I've done this a lot. :D

Date: 2010-01-21 08:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aeron-lanart.livejournal.com
Snark at bathtime is *good* and I love this. I'm surprised having to sit on the plug never got mentioned - or maybe it was just because Ianto'd been too traumatised by the taps to notice.

Funnily enough the biggest bath I've ever been in was in the nurses accommodation where I did my training - there was plenty of room for two in that! *ahem*

Date: 2010-01-21 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Well, my plug is a flat thing that just hermetically seals, so if you sat on it it wouldn't matter, and I only use it because the trap doesn't seal properly anymore, so I guess I just want thinking of it. Hahaahaha poor Ianto.

haaahahahah I had a hot tub om my honeymoon. It was pretty awesome. Also, ever notice that nice hotels have big bathtubs too?

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Date: 2010-01-21 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zortified.livejournal.com
Heeeheeheeeheeeheeeheeeeeeee. We sell that at work and from now on I shall think of Jack and Ianto naked, when I see it.

Date: 2010-01-21 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
AS WELL YOU SHOULD.

JACK LIKES IT.

Date: 2010-01-21 09:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fiwen1010.livejournal.com
Love it, it's so warm and fuzzy and utterly impractical. I'm just having trouble dealing with the fact that my friends got me a bottle of Mr Bubble for my 18th Birthday lol
Gxxx

Date: 2010-01-21 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
OMG IT'S AWESOME. USE IT.

Date: 2010-01-21 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lefaym.livejournal.com
Mmm, delicious and sexy and realistic. And BUBBLES.

Date: 2010-01-21 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
BUBBLES.

Like really.

Date: 2010-01-21 10:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madder-rose.livejournal.com
Imperfect sex in a tub! I love it. Mister Bubbles is Not for Lubricant.

Sauna sex next?

Date: 2010-01-21 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Oh sort of. It is a box.

Date: 2010-01-21 11:56 pm (UTC)
ext_76727: (Operation this will end badly is a go)
From: [identity profile] remuslives23.livejournal.com
That was fantastic. Love how snarky Ianto was and Jack with his enthusiasm never waning despite their discomfort (concern about knees in his bits aside). Wonderfully funny, with a little sweet at the end there. :)

Date: 2010-01-21 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Well, you know, sometimes when you're that squished, knees in the junk are inevitable. and Mister Bubble is a powerful lure. He's all pink and bubbly!

Date: 2010-01-22 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] topgeargirl2.livejournal.com
Yeah, the average bathtub isn't big enough for two people. my bathtub certainly isn't.

I really enjoyed this.

Date: 2010-01-22 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
My bathtub isn't either. and it's also kinds icky right now.

Glad you liked it!

Date: 2010-01-22 12:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zsazsa4168.livejournal.com
Do you remember the commercial where the kid uses the bubbles to be a dog and then an old man and his grandmother doesn't recognize him? At one point she's on the phone: "There's a man in my bathtub!" I kept seeing Jack and Ianto making bubble disguises and laughed myself silly.

Not that I needed that for laughs. This was funny and sweet enough on its own. Just sent me on a trip down memory lane. Thanks.

Date: 2010-01-22 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Haahahah I haven't seen that, but LOL anyway!

Jack likes those soap crayons, too.

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Date: 2010-01-22 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrsalemp.livejournal.com
"He's jolly because he's for children, not because he's excited at the prospect of you using him as a sexual prop."

Okay, you've made me giggle so many times today (of all days) that I think you deserve some sort of trophy or something.

Date: 2010-01-22 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
MAKE ME ONE OUT OF TINY BREAD!

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Date: 2010-01-22 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurab1.livejournal.com
Hahaha! Oh, boys ;)

Date: 2010-01-22 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
haaahahah THEY SQUEEZED IN THERE!.

Date: 2010-01-22 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pineapplepeople.livejournal.com
Hehehe. My bath's big for one person but small for two. Next time i have a bath i'll think of jack and ianto.

Great story!! ;)

Date: 2010-01-22 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Thanks! Awesome!

Date: 2010-01-22 05:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] taffimai.livejournal.com
I love stories where the sex isn't perfect and they don't have anything to eat in the fridge, so this is perfect.

Date: 2010-01-22 05:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
HAAAHAHAH THANK YOU, BB. :D

Date: 2010-01-22 05:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blue-fjords.livejournal.com
Oh, I thought this was awesome. From Those would be the no-slip flowers the landlady put down in nineteen fifty-five. to I can't help but think that this…thing that I was talked into here was a romantic gesture that you sketched on paper in your head without thinking about physics. Or geometry. to Mister. It's guy bubble bath. Really, the whole thing. And look at you, with the artwork again! I did wonder how two big men could fit into a little tub, so thanks for writing it. It was funny and sweet and affectionate and made me happy. :)

Date: 2010-01-22 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Oh lol they didn't really fit. Haahahah Tianyu and I used to do this. It was a tight fit and you had to lay on the other person, but it was easy to fall asleep in.

HIS NAME IS MISTER. IT'S FOR GUYS.

Date: 2010-01-22 06:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curriejean.livejournal.com
SO I CAVED AND READ IT ANYWAY, AND IT WAS GREAT. I love you with the bathtub flowers, and the awkward, because I've NEVER shared a bath that wasn't physically awkward. After I turned seven or so.

Date: 2010-01-22 06:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
HAAHAHAHAH AND NOW I WANT TO READ YOURS. YAY!

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Date: 2010-01-22 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neifile7.livejournal.com
Nick kind of said it all for me, but the requisite "helpless howl of LOL" moment was "guy bubble bath." Which to Jack, of course, would mean it could double as lube. And yeah, this is definitely h/c subversion, because there's usually some form of bathing in there somewhere. :)

Date: 2010-01-22 05:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
hAAHAHAH I didn't think about the H/C angle in this. I m glad you liked Mister Bubble. I think Jack thinks it's GUY bubble bath because there's a man on it, and by that logic, 20th century people delineate the intended consumers of their items by gender. This doesn't explain Mister Clean, but you know...

Date: 2010-01-22 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nancybrown.livejournal.com
Bathtub fail!sex ftw! You *can* fit two people comfortably into a normal tub, but it helps if at least one of them is tiny. Which they are not. :)

Date: 2010-01-22 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
LOL no they are not tiny.

Date: 2010-01-22 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adjovi.livejournal.com
ah...i just loved this! mr bubble! heh. a simultaneous bath sounds like a good idea, but really, there isn't that much room. maybe those cialis people w/ the side by side tubs in the middle of a glorious field are on to something?

Date: 2010-01-22 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
OMG YEAH, but then you'd get like bear poo and dead leaves in the tub in the middle of the field. Bah outdoor tubs.

Date: 2010-01-22 10:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hab318princess.livejournal.com
loved that *grins*

Date: 2010-01-23 01:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2010-01-23 10:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wynkat1313.livejournal.com
I'm just going to fall over in the corner laughing now... gods... only Jack and Ianto could manage to have a bath like this.... and only YOU could bring it to us in MR. BUBBLE LIVING COLOR. wow. *wanders off cackling*

Date: 2010-01-23 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
MISTER BUBBLE IS AWESOME. LOOK, JACK WAS IN THE BOOTS, AND IT WAS THERE AND IT SAID "MISTER". THAT IS DUDE BUBBLE BATH, SPECIALLY FORMULATED FOR...DUDES AND THEIR JUNK...OR SOMETHING.

Obvs he didn't think this one through, but still! Everyone came! Yay!

Haahahaha thanks!

Date: 2010-01-24 09:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] choccy-grl.livejournal.com
I always liked Matey. He was (is?) a sailor dude bubble bath.

Awesome story.

Date: 2010-01-24 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Haahahah ARRR MATEY!

AWESOME.

Thanks!

Date: 2010-01-24 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pocky_slash.livejournal.com
OH GOD I AM SO MANY TABS BEHIND. And I think another fic of yours got lost in the shuffle. I'll find it eventually.

Anyway.

This made my afternoon. I love the idea of Jack planning this out without thinking it through, picking up the bubble bath, all of it. I like Ianto putting on his grumpy, prickly act before letting himself give in to the gesture. Jack being just a little sentimental at the end and Ianto allowing it. And all of the middle cracked me up. The reality of the tub scraping Ianto's back, the mechanics of fitting two grown men into a bathroom tub that can't even fit one full-grown me most of the time. It was realistic, but that didn't take away from the sweetness of the gesture and the affection between the guys.

Date: 2010-01-24 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com
Awwww, thank you! I dunno what I was thinking. I wanted to write anti-bathtub fic, and someone was like, "they could never fit in a real bathtub" and I was like, "YOU ARE SO RIGHT."

and this is the result.
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