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amand_r1. List the first lines of the last 20 fics you posted. Find a pattern.
1. They don't have a name for themselves.
2. Albert Norville Apparates into the alley next to Terroni and Sons because it is the only shop that carries the prosciutto his wife likes.
3. Harry was about four fingers into Severus's arse when it occurred to him that the reason Severus had been acting oddly of late was probably that he was having an affair.
4. Jack laughs into his hands, and it's a little silly, and a little sexy, and probably wouldn't be half so distracting if he hadn't those gloves and those painted nails.
5. Ianto opened the lid of the cardboard box and pulled out a thin packet of papers, setting them on the conference table in front of Mickey with a smile.
6. Time yet again for a story of the sex lives of the world's most formidable secret alien catchers!
7. "opebn mw aspppap," read the title of the email.
8. He's seen it.
9. 'Why'd you come from London?' you ask.
10. Jack found it in his drawer one night, and he knew that it hadn't been there the night before.
11. "So, when did this appear?" The Doctor asked Rose, who shrugged and slid down the finish.
12. Tosh wasn't sure when it started: the coffee in the mornings, the complete lack of time schedule at the Hub, or his hands on hers when they had done weapons training in the very beginning of her tenure, when he had showed her the array of guns and then demonstrated how to use them.
13. She should be calling Rhys.
14. Jack rode Alice on the sofa, and Emily twisted the glass of the dildo gently in her harness.
15. Tosh bent over the waist-high partition and braced herself with a vice grip on the slick tiles, watching Jack on the other side as he grasped Suzie's ass and shoved farther into her.
16. They said they were out getting it washed and waxed.
17. Jack watched Ianto crawl up to Myfanwy's nest with the hesitancy of one who was sure they were about to be killed.
18. The path leading to Tatsumi's front door is so covered with cherry blossoms that it feels as if you're walking on a carpet.
19. Gwen has been at Torchwood for three weeks when her birthday rolls along.
20. Ianto had been running on about three hours of sleep, and so when he had walked into himself in the Hub, he wasn't as surprised as, in retrospect, he should have been.
Looking at this, I have concluded that
a) I wrote quote a bit of porn, and I like to start in the middle.
b) Sentence length doesn't matter.
c) I don't like starting with dialogue. This means that I should do more of that.
d) I use character names in 14/20 lines. I should avoid that too.
2. I shall be writing today, my lovelies, so I may not talk to you. I have a warden, she is keeping me in line. Later tonight I shall be going to see HBP, in IMAX, bitches! IMAX HARRY POTTER FTW. Then I may get some pierogies, because this is PITTSBURGH, and I am very YINZER.
3. This sums up the future. If we're not CAREFUL. Ph34r.
4. Certain events have transpired that make me doubt my beta abilities. I know that I owe things to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rons_pigwigeon(sp?), kickair8 and curriejean, but after that, I think I'm going to have to stop. Holy fuck, I didn't see it coming.
Also? When did I stop using onomatopoeic metaphor? Jesus, It's time to regress.
5. The first wave of epistolary fic envelopes went out this week:kel_reiley, I sent yours Tuesday, so you should have it very soon. sanginmychains and valancy_joy, yours went out yesterday, and neifile7, I just licked the envelope on yours and dumped it in my bag. First wave done.
6. Lastly, I ain't cutting this. Men, cover your eyes. My boobs hurt. Shark week isn't until the middle of August, but right around ovulation, they fucking hurt. I have to hold them when I go down stairs or run. I never got anything other than some occasional cramping around my BT before, and this PMS bullshit is making me cranky. I thought it was because of the kid, but apparently this shit can appear when you turn 30.
Every month I think I have cancer. I shit you not.
1. They don't have a name for themselves.
2. Albert Norville Apparates into the alley next to Terroni and Sons because it is the only shop that carries the prosciutto his wife likes.
3. Harry was about four fingers into Severus's arse when it occurred to him that the reason Severus had been acting oddly of late was probably that he was having an affair.
4. Jack laughs into his hands, and it's a little silly, and a little sexy, and probably wouldn't be half so distracting if he hadn't those gloves and those painted nails.
5. Ianto opened the lid of the cardboard box and pulled out a thin packet of papers, setting them on the conference table in front of Mickey with a smile.
6. Time yet again for a story of the sex lives of the world's most formidable secret alien catchers!
7. "opebn mw aspppap," read the title of the email.
8. He's seen it.
9. 'Why'd you come from London?' you ask.
10. Jack found it in his drawer one night, and he knew that it hadn't been there the night before.
11. "So, when did this appear?" The Doctor asked Rose, who shrugged and slid down the finish.
12. Tosh wasn't sure when it started: the coffee in the mornings, the complete lack of time schedule at the Hub, or his hands on hers when they had done weapons training in the very beginning of her tenure, when he had showed her the array of guns and then demonstrated how to use them.
13. She should be calling Rhys.
14. Jack rode Alice on the sofa, and Emily twisted the glass of the dildo gently in her harness.
15. Tosh bent over the waist-high partition and braced herself with a vice grip on the slick tiles, watching Jack on the other side as he grasped Suzie's ass and shoved farther into her.
16. They said they were out getting it washed and waxed.
17. Jack watched Ianto crawl up to Myfanwy's nest with the hesitancy of one who was sure they were about to be killed.
18. The path leading to Tatsumi's front door is so covered with cherry blossoms that it feels as if you're walking on a carpet.
19. Gwen has been at Torchwood for three weeks when her birthday rolls along.
20. Ianto had been running on about three hours of sleep, and so when he had walked into himself in the Hub, he wasn't as surprised as, in retrospect, he should have been.
Looking at this, I have concluded that
a) I wrote quote a bit of porn, and I like to start in the middle.
b) Sentence length doesn't matter.
c) I don't like starting with dialogue. This means that I should do more of that.
d) I use character names in 14/20 lines. I should avoid that too.
2. I shall be writing today, my lovelies, so I may not talk to you. I have a warden, she is keeping me in line. Later tonight I shall be going to see HBP, in IMAX, bitches! IMAX HARRY POTTER FTW. Then I may get some pierogies, because this is PITTSBURGH, and I am very YINZER.
3. This sums up the future. If we're not CAREFUL. Ph34r.
4. Certain events have transpired that make me doubt my beta abilities. I know that I owe things to
rons_pigwigeon(sp?), kickair8 and curriejean, but after that, I think I'm going to have to stop. Holy fuck, I didn't see it coming. Also? When did I stop using onomatopoeic metaphor? Jesus, It's time to regress.
5. The first wave of epistolary fic envelopes went out this week:
kel_reiley, I sent yours Tuesday, so you should have it very soon. sanginmychains and valancy_joy, yours went out yesterday, and neifile7, I just licked the envelope on yours and dumped it in my bag. First wave done. 6. Lastly, I ain't cutting this. Men, cover your eyes. My boobs hurt. Shark week isn't until the middle of August, but right around ovulation, they fucking hurt. I have to hold them when I go down stairs or run. I never got anything other than some occasional cramping around my BT before, and this PMS bullshit is making me cranky. I thought it was because of the kid, but apparently this shit can appear when you turn 30.
Every month I think I have cancer. I shit you not.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 03:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 03:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 03:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 03:54 pm (UTC)Me like #16 especially, for some undeniably pervy reason.
I will be sniffing that envelope for your pheromones when it arrives. Sniffing it HARD.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 04:00 pm (UTC)I STUCK THE ENVELOPE DOWN MY PANTS. j/k. I totes didn't.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 07:34 pm (UTC)I think I'll just amp up the Aleve.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 09:03 pm (UTC)14 really piqued my interest - link?
I wonder if I have 20 fics to quote from. Hmmm...
Personal wiggety-wack?? hehe
no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 09:11 pm (UTC)It's Shameless Jack/Emily/Alice prons (http://amand-r.livejournal.com/340519.html)
no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 10:22 pm (UTC)opening it now!
oooh, lookat me! i'm an adorable stick person (i wish my hair was that long again)
christmas in july!
instructions!
is black, ballpoint ok?
TOSH! she makes me cry
(damn dyslexia! i am going to have to do practice tries)
no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 12:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:31 am (UTC)I GAVE YOU THREE TO CHOOSE FROM.
HAAAHAHA, THAT'S TOSH ON THE ENVELOPE, NOT YOU. BUT IT CAN TOTES BE YOU IF YOU WANT.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:37 am (UTC)will try harder (press pen SOFTER)
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Date: 2009-07-31 03:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:40 am (UTC)i just haven't handwritten anything that someone else would need to read in... some number of years that i cannot divulge
no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:59 am (UTC)my handwriting is pointy
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Date: 2009-07-31 04:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 04:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 11:17 pm (UTC)15. - ... SAME.
Certain events have transpired that make me doubt my beta abilities. I know that I owe things to [info]rons_pigwigeon(sp?), [info]kickair8 and [info]curriejean, but after that, I think I'm going to have to stop. Holy fuck, I didn't see it coming.
DON'T WORRY. I'm not looking for perfection anyway, and you know how to write, so you know how to read, whatever it was that transpired. And truth be told, what I'm looking for most is credibility anyway. :P Like, "AMAND-R GAVE ME PERMISSION TO POST THIS SO STFU." Okay, and also concrit. These worshipful bastards won't give me contrit (love you all).
no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:32 am (UTC)I will rip your shit apart. Just let me finish this snarry games fic.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 10:55 am (UTC)My boobs hurt like the Dickens before I surf the crimson tide. And I have zero kids, but am 30. At all other times, my boobs are the most insensitive things known to man (or woman). But then -- ergheekfuck.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 01:46 pm (UTC)Yeah, boobage today isn't any better. :(
no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 02:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 02:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-31 03:20 pm (UTC)