this post got a flesch-kincaid reading level of 2.7. a new low! a taste of things to come!

[amand_r]

Okay! Here is what I discovered: I took a shitload of pics in DC, and most of them are signs. No really. I'm an out of context signage whore. But that is for another post. In this one, I give you

The mighty Torchwood Crime and Punishment Adventure.

Note: I do not have taffimai or adjovi's permissions to use their likenesses, so they are not in here. Taff took all the pics with my arse in them. Also, if they suck, that is all my fault. I don't understand my camera's settings. I really don't. That's why my kid always looks like she's entering or leaving the Speed Force. Either that or she's really Bart.

Everything is sporadic. But here's what I got:

There was this dude in chains. We thought he looked way too into it. Blue does her impression of what he should look like.

This is the first photo I took. Hrm.


She was always so happy about this mild bondage and humiliation thing.


The best part about this was that we hadn't even done anything remotely wrong yet. They just had to give us time.


Bang! Bang! Bang!


BANG! BANG! I KEEL U DED.

BLUE FJORDS IS A BAD BAD GIRL: A CRIME IN A FEW PARTS:


Blue uses the fingers of funneh. Amand-r is dead on spray painted dumpster.


WE IMPLICATED BLUE HARD. BECAUSE SHE DID IT. EVEN TAFF KNEW IT. SHE WAS GOOD AT IDENTIFYING PERPS. Taff had to take the photo through 2 way glass and we didn't know when she was doing it. so we're blurry.


Way too happy for someone in jail.


They neglected to see the big fucking hole in the bottom bunk. Hrm. Escape!


Adjovi rides it like it's stolen!


They get away on a motorcycle! Look ma, no hands? WHO'S FUCKING DRIVING THIS THING! Blue called this our porn shot for smirnoffmule LICK IT, BABY. I JUST NOTICED HER HAND ON MY LEG. SAUCY, BABY! SAUCY!


All that's missing is the big TORCHWOOD scrawled in blood, ne?


This exhibit was censored by BBCA.

A SMALL PASTICHE:


AMAND-R: (iz sad because the morgue drawers don't open)
BLUE: You know, I still have that stopwatch.
AMAND-R: O_o?


BLUE: There's lots of things you can do with a stopwatch. (eyebrow)
AMAND-R: Really? Hrm. Like, time races and eggs and shit?
BLUE: (eyeroll)…Do you even watch Torchwood? This is all about me dressing you down and ramming something so far up your ass that your eyes light up like Atlanta on fire.
AMAND-R: OH!


AMAND-R: I'll send everyone home early.
BLUE: You do that. ::click::

THE END


Some gratuitous NCIS Abby on the big screen for arsenicjade


Blue walks up the stairs to the exit, and on the way she stopped at this wall and assigned us all boyfriends. That is her boyfriend. I have not yet discerned her logic. Also, my BF was hot. Also, Blue is random and shit like that.



Then we blew up Parliament.

That was what I did on my summer vacation.

Funny signage later. AND TYPOS. (not mine!)

Comments

[godofstrife.livejournal.com]

You're wrong in the head and I love it.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

WE TOTES ARE. WELL, I CAN ONLY VOUCH FOR MYSELF. BUT YEAH. LOLOR5.

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

Blue would REALLY get into Alcatraz then. Wait. HOW DID THEY GET HIS CELL FROM ALCATRAZ TO DC??? I swear there wasn't a cell missing when we were at Alcatraz!

FWIW, Nick totally got into cell habitation too. Before we left, he was musing about an Alcatraz RPG...

I swear, if you kids ever do that again, I may have to scrape up the $$ and fly up there and join you. I've not been to that museum--was with the wrong people. Sigh.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Hhaaahaha. It was awesome. We should have an American Torchwood adventure and meet right in the centre of the country. Like Kansas. WE COULD SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF THE CROP CIRCLES.

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

I love to be dorky w/ history. Museums, statues, exhibits ... I'm the kind of tourist who stands in front of Mt. Rushmore and lifts her finger so it looks like I'm picking a presidential nose. (But I can be wicked respectful, too! I never litter. And I am solemn on battlefields.)

We should totes meet up. Don't let the nose-picking turn you off.

[luscious-words.livejournal.com]

Great captions to those photos. *snicker* Really? Hrm. Like, time races and eggs and shit? Um, yeah, sure, if you say so. ;)

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

clueless!amand-r is clueless still about what you sexually do with a stopwatch. Aside from timed orgasms, and where's the fun in that?

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

<---------- NEEDS MOAR BLOODY GRAFFITI

I agree!

How awesome are you guys? I love the morgue scene reenactment and the fingerprint panel on the post-its. LOLZ!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

LOL @ UR ICON.

HAAHAHAHA IANTO DOESN'T WANT HIS FINGERPRINTS TAKEN. WE ALL KNOW WHY.

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

We saw that morgue and our eyes went "Zoinks!" and our minds went to the same exact place. There was also a totally Ianto quote for the sign post, I imagine. A sad Ianto quote, not "this is something Ianto would say, that super sexy Welshmuffin, hubba hubba."

[lionessvalenti.livejournal.com]

I was seriously cracking up over you and Blue doing the stopwatch scene. You two are both so crazy fucking hot, I think I ship it. In a threesome. With me.

The Washington Monument Post-it reminded me of the Gay for America video:


Poor Ianto. Bad coffee and his whole day is shot. I love his angry face in the fingerprinting one. SO CUTE. I WANT TO PINCH HIS TWO-DIMENSIONAL CHEEKS.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

You will have to join the foursome! Or we could all just be a big poly fandom house. I think that was mentioned before. Something about a room that's just a huge bed and pillow fights.

That video made me snarf Fresca out my nose. Thanks. I am playing that at my next 4th of July party!

That's a pretty good Ianto. I like his body in the pregnant one.

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

If we all get to the Wallow Weekend, there will be many -some's, I imagine. WITH CAKE!! For your birthday! It will be sexy AND yummy.

If the cake bit is weird, that can be on its own.

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

For a theory on that stopwatch... I'll let you beta the Ianto fic I'm working on ... if I ever finish it! I had an awesome bunny about said stopwatch... (well I think it's awesome. that's why i'll needs betaz)

pix are a hoot!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

YES, I SHALL BETA. JUST NOT THIS WEEK.

I AM ALL FOR THAT.

[adjovi.livejournal.com]

dude--totes post my pics. ;)

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I TOTES DID!

[dvanulya.livejournal.com]

Hey, ba-bee!

I thought the same thing about the bedroom crime scene!

Excellent pics - totes.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Hi hi hi! Are you back in the land of fun?

That crime scene was hysterical!

[dvanulya.livejournal.com]

Yes, and it's fucking hot. Not in the good way.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Awwww, get a fan! Can you get a fan?

[phaetonschariot.livejournal.com]

BLUE: (eyeroll)…Do you even watch Torchwood? This is all about me dressing you down and ramming something so far up your ass that your eyes light up like Atlanta on fire.

The existence of this fic is relevant to my interests.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha the original reference uses the words "ram this butter churn so far up your sphincter."

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

Squees! I been there, I been there! But never with anyone as cool as you!

I'll be in DC, probably around Christmas, so I'll let you know for sure once we lock down plans for the in-laws.

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

We will have loads of laughs!

Also, I voted in the wallow poll, but then I just went back over there -- my vote against was for the last weekend. Do we have weekend? B/c amand_r is wicked fun and you totes deserve to meet her.

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

I AM FRAMING MY PORN PHOTO. AFTER I HAVE SHOPPED IN MORE SKIN.

You guys could not be more cute if you had actual rabbit ears.

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

I had a rabbit tail on my ass. You just can't see it. It was totes cute and sexay.

You and amand_r have to take some wicked hot porn shots for me in October. I'll provide the tootsie pops. :)

[snaxcident.livejournal.com]

I wish I could be 'crime and punished' with y'all !!!!

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

Dude, my beloved brother just had a phone interview w/ the Toronto branch of his company, so I may be up there in a few months! amand_r doesn't know it yet, but I've just volunteered her to road trip me to Toronto. Do you have any cool museums or kinky sex shops in Toronto?

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

I am apparently not all that bright. I didn't realize that was two way glass until I read your post.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

HAAHAHAAAHAHHA. THAT'S WHY WE LOOKED SO CONFUSED.

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

Also, Blue is random and shit like that.

Totes. This has always been true. Although the Boyfriend Game has been going on since college. I have so many deadbeat boyfriends. There are two categories for my boyfriends: the ugliest, skuzziest dude in the pic, or the most exuberantly geektastic dude in the pic. I do not have girlfriends. I do have wives, but that's based on genuine awesomeness and mwroar.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I loved your random, "this is your boyfriend" moment! The first time you did it, I figured you'd been here before and had picked him out last time for me, but DOI, how lame is that? We just met like a month ago! ::smacks head::

We left there with like, five bfs apiece.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

...

Okay. Win.

Which is to say you need to go on adventures moar oftenz.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Haahahaaahahaha. I'M GOING TO CARDIFF. TELL ME THAT WON'T END IN TEARS.

(THAT'S A REFERENCE TO YOUR FIC, WHICH I AM STILL WORKING MY WAY THROUGH, BUT WHICH IS LIKE BUTTER.)

[reddevilpoes.livejournal.com]

Will you come with me on my next vacation? It so looks like FUN!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

HAAAHAHAH I TRY. I SHOULD HIRE MYSELF OUT AS A VACATION JESTER.