That's WOT I like, Mick!

[amand_r]

1. THE HERMIONE BIG BANG IS FINISHED. 49,500 WORDS. I REPEAT, EFFING FINISHED. If you guys end up hating it, IT WILL BE ALL TORCHWOOD'S FAULT.

So, here's like…a fannish whoring confession. This fic? I've been working on it for six years and so the first 70 pages or so have been beta read by lots of people, and for that I'm insanely grateful. On the other hand, I am some sort of whore, and so I typed out this paragraph were I explained that I wanted someone to read it all at once in one go (what do we call those? Alpha readers?) to tell me what they think of it when they have a chance to just read it in its entirety from start to finish, and then I realised that the only purpose of that would be so that they could either say "this blows," or "this rocks!" That's such whoredom. I think even mentioning this gets me whoredom.

Do fanfic writers get paid in anything other than feedback and cred, anyway? Self-satisfaction, I guess. I guess I want to get PAID. STAMP PAID, SETHE (I just made a Toni Morrison joke. I get the SPECIAL HELL.) I dunno. I want to show it to the world. I love this fic like a loving thing. That I have to wait is like, a crime or something. I should send myself to jail. But first I'm going to pass go and take $200.

2. How did I not know about writerinadrawer? GAH! But my peeps are in there. LAWSUNTULLE! CRUE! VERA! Fight anonymously FOR MY PLEASURE! (I feel sort of creepily like Ray Fiennes picking up Emily Watson in Red Dragon. Now I need pie.)


I know I could never have done it (also? Every time I'm in an anon fest I AM LIKE THE FIRST PERSON ACCURATELY GUESSED, EVEN WHEN I TRY TO BE DIFFERENT), BECAUSE I HAVE LIKE fifteen million things to be writing (like MANDY fic that ends with Mickey showing Andy the big gun. We'd all read a fic in which the two of them accidentally fall in together and end up stopping a catastrophe through a series of events that no one else ends up knowing about because they're busy elsewhere saving the actual world, right?

I am petulant. But ANTICIPATORY! AND EXCITED ABOUT SHIT AGAIN!

3. I AM MAKING A LIST OF ALL THE FICS I AM WORKING ON RIGHT HERE, AND IF YOU WANT TO STEAL THE IDEAS, WELL, THEN YOU GO ON AHEAD, BUT I HAVE STARTED THEM ALL.

Believe it or not, I actually think I might be doing this because I can't keep them all straight. I have a scribble book, and it's not ordered, and amidst the pages that are Xed out with "DONE" on them and Gatsby quotes and other shit, I don't think I have a consolidated list of all the crap I want to do.

FICS WOT I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF:

1. Jack/Highlander, AKA Jack/everyone
2. BODYSWAP
3. SNARRY GAMES FIC (classified)

FICS WOT I HAVE STARTED:

1. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaandy.
2. SECRET HOPEALICIOUS FIC. (IANTO'S PATRONUS IS JACK-SHAPED LOLOR5.)

FICS WOT I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT:

1. Jack in wartime. Starts simply with, "It required no dressing or temporizing, no lying or waffling; Jack loved guns."
2. Jack steals John's wrist strap for some indecipherable reason and travels back to watch everyone's first times. (thanks, wiredblowfish and 51stcenturyfox!)
4. The silent fic.
5. Possible sequels to fics I have already written (unlikely)

KINKBINGO (That's it. I'm going for the blackout. I have until August 31, right?)
1. Gwen/Ianto cold branding
2. Sheriff Truman/Josie Packard gunplay
3. Trevor/Brian Enter the Haggis RPS confining
4. Samson/Delilah shaving depilation
5. Jimmy/Chazz Blades of Glory spanking (don't judge me!)
6. Bruce/Tim possibly Dick/Tim uniforms
7. Logan/Jubilee dirty talk
8. Ianto/Tosh ageplay (with candy necklaces! Yay! Foxy!)

The ones in bold have been started. The rest have been thought of, and well, that's like half right there if you count WOT I ALREADY DONE.

4. My kid, my kid. So I took her to the park, and we did the slide and the merry-go-round and the swings and then I wanted to kill more time so I took us on a hike up into the uncut fields, following the ATV tracks, and we picked flowers and weeds and shit, and she fussed about turning around, but it was starting to look like Hansel and Gretel town, and the only song I know about Hansel and Gretel is Sophie B. Hawkins's 'Don't Stop Swaying,' and that's just ew. The incest, not the song.

So we turned around and came back, and accosted some tolerant dogs, and then we went to a new set of swings. I put her in one of the swings and then settled in myself for a long…evening's…swing. Sorry, I almost collapsed into "The Night Before Christmas" there. ::smacks self::

This swing? Silent running, just long enough to make the arc bliss. High enough off the ground to make the pull back acceptable. The front mound of woodchips stops before a hill, so that you're invariably swinging out over a cliff. The view? Nothing but trees and a pavilion, but I block out the pavilion.

I found swingvana. Here's a thirty second video in which I try to explain swingvana whilst ON swingvana. At the very least you get to hear me make an ass out of myself. At the most, you might vomit.

5.

Murasaki Shikibu The beer case is hers.

Man Killin' Sasquatch. My foot is in there for scale.

6.
51st Century Fox: I ate free steak.
Amand-r: There ain't nothing wrong with free steak.
51st Century Fox: That's what I said. BRING ME SOME FUCKING FREE STEAK!
Amand-r: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT JACK WOULD SAY.
51st Century Fox: Also, free WINE!
Amand-r: MAKE SURE THE STEAK IS TASTY!
51st Century Fox: Jack would say:
I
FUCKING
LOVE
FREE
STEAK!
Amand-r: "I ATE THE HELL OUT OF THAT STEAK."
51st Century Fox: Yeeeah baby!
Amand-r: Then he and Ianto would have a fifty comment conversation about how to cook the steak. That would end in giving something steak like to Max-Theresa.
51st Century Fox: Yup!
Amand-r: And Hart would rub raw steak all over himself. And Martha would freak out because Tomb Raider would be licking him.
51st Century Fox: And Gwen would be all... RIGHT. I want TAPAS ANYWAY. So you blokes knock yourselves out!
Amand-r: So they don't even have to post this weekend. We just wrote it right there for them. God, I have to stop reading that thing.

Comments

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

Girl, you have one giant pussy!

And I don't do tulle. Ew. It clashes with my Glock.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

OMG IT TOOK ME LIKE FIVE SECONDS TO GET WHAT YOU MEANT BY PUSSY! I was all, O_o? I'm all, "did she mean that I am a big pussy?" LOLOR5. MY CAT IS HUGE.

IT'S PHONETIC. Not even a little tulle?

[sivatheminty.livejournal.com]

I miss swinging. I used to spend most of recess (when not clobbering ignorant boys) attempting to touch the sky with my feet.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

YOU JUST HAD A KID. That's like, LICENSE TO SWING, for srs. When people see an adult on the swings, they look for the kid, and then they see the kid/stroller, and they say, Oh, well, that's okay.

SWING MUTHAFUCKA, SWING!

[amonitrate.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I don't think wanting someone to read a fic you've been working on a long time from start to finish is whoring. I feel that way about Sentinel, should it ever be finished, because in my crazier moments I consider going back and re-editing the whole thing to make it more coherently one piece, instead of many semi-autonomous chapters written over the span of over a year.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think for me, that's the problem with writing a long WIP that I post in parts (which I try not to do anymore, because I have a shitty track record on WIP finishing). Whenever you finish it, I think you should go back, see what it looks like all in one go.

[amonitrate.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't think I'll do it again. It was sort of an accidental WIP, in that it was supposed to be a one off that just. kept. going.

On the one hand, posting in parts did give me motivation to keep going. On the other hand, consistency and the natural changes that stories go through. Ah well, it's a learning process.

[ithildyn.livejournal.com]

Really, you do. I try to read over a long WIP at points, but nothing beats reading it from start to finish once it's finally done. And I asked a friend to read it through as well for fresh eyes. It really helped.

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

You are exuding fic from every pore, gf. Keep hydrated, and it will all come! (And we will all come with it!)

Murasaki Shikibu is gorgeous and well-named, and possibly a bit on the smug side. With reason, no doubt, if the beer's hers.

a_cj totes loves free steak, especially hangar steak. Or steak on a stick. See today's post.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

All this fic is going to kick my ass. When will we get more Anya fic?

Saki likes the Troegs!

LOL STEAK. Ianto referenced the steak to me! SOMEONE READ MY BLOG. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

Of course Ianto referenced the steak. He knows everything, and it says so at the bottom of your entry.

Saki has good taste in beer, I must say. EvilCat here would probably stick to the barbecue Bud (cans of, for grilling beer-can chicken, under no circumstances let it pass your lips). She has no discrimination whatever.

Anya fic (Jackstory) is in progress. Simultaneously writing five linked pieces and it's kicking my butt. Trying to finish before S3, not bloody likely at this point.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Haahahaahaha, Ianto's tentacles of thinky are everywhere.

Yeah, Saki is a princess. I figure she deserves the beer after writing a classic Japanese epic. She also likes beer can chicken. I like beer can chicken. NOM.

YAY for Anya fic! Anything with your Jack is highly anticipated! ::makes anticipatory face::

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

Ooooooh! I want Anya fic, too! I was trying to finish something before series 3, too, but I seriously doubt it now. At least UK airing.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I'm undecided on how to approach my viewing. When shall I watch it? What are you going to do? I saw you mention it to Lefay, but I forget.

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

UK airing is HOPELESS. I've kind of resigned myself to the instant jossibility possibility, but don't think I can alter the story. It's been brewing since before Cobbler, and, well, that's too long to hang onto a bunny.

I envy mah flisties who can write ten stories for every one I wring out of my fic-turnip. (Although it's bloody hard to keep up with y'all!)

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

I LOVE SWINGS! I'm going to see my nieces Monday night for almost two weeks! And they love swings! We're going to go to the park and swing and pick berries and eat ice cream and have tea parties and read stories and play dress-up and bake cookies and go shopping and sing songs and play kitchen band and paste stickers all over my dad and brother.

Damn you have lots of fics in progress. I have three and a handful of timestamp memes that I haven't started.

I forgot to say that your kitties are amazingly beautiful and wonderful!!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

SWINGS ARE THE BOMB. I LOVE SWINGS TOO! Damn, you have a lot of things planned there. I do all of that shit every day! It's like I'm the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland! Except I also write porn!

Haahahaha, yeah, I like to have a lot of balls in the air, fic wise. We'll see how it goes. I don't think I've ever been working on so may things simultaneously. Something will fall.

Mah kitties are pretty cool. when they aren't trying to kill me.

[ithildyn.livejournal.com]

I love swings! I want one in my backyard!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I do too!

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

1. I want to read it. Now. Send it. LOL.
2. Yup! I am crazy excited--can't wait to read all these and vote! I am pretty sure I will be able to detect Crue's style...for some reason. I kinda know it well. Plus...

Oh. This is interesting. Started this reply, got distracted, forgot what I was going to say.

Um... I have steak tonight! EAT STEAK!

yeah.

(when is Big Bang for HP up? I will read yours and yours alone)

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

LOL.

1. I have some edits to make before I send it to anyone, and it isn't going to be up until SEPTEMBER. Wah!

2. WIAD is going to rule. I never get it right when I'm guessing. NEVER.

STEAK IS AWESOME. WE SHOULD ALL EAT STEAK. IF I HAD ONE I WOULD EAT THE HELL OUT OF IT. As it is, I think I'm stuck with pasta. Meh. OH! TUNAFISH SALAD! HELLS YEAH.

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

1. September is awfully far away. That is not good.
2. It is going to be AWESOME and I flip my pink to the Anons who tromp on our peeps. Hmph. I might be able to guess Lifty's, and N's, maybe Vera's...possibly. It's just going to be amusing too--can't wait for N's wails when outlandish prompts crop up. Tee hee!

STEAK IS AWESOME and I seriously treated myself to a ribeye from the best butcher in Foat Wuth. Seriously, 14.99 a pound. On sale. TO DIE FOR STEAK TONIGHT AND MORE BIG BANG THEORY! My kind of Saturday (at least, here)

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

SWINGS!
i was once on a swing, on a mountain
BEST SWING EVER!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

My friend used to have a swing on this tree at the top of this hill that ended with like a 20 foot drop. When you swung out, it was like you were over a gorge! BEST SWING EVAR.

SWINGVANA!

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

that would be AWESOME
that's like the ride in las vegas where you're on top of a building and you swing out over the edge and WAH!
i want to go to vegas