Arsenic and Amanda worry about Dalek Pon Farr (Ponn Far?)

[amand_r]

Amand-r: la la la la. Rule number one: NO SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM.
Arsenicjade: oh, COME ON
Amand-r: CHRIS ROCK DEMANDS IT. SO SEX. IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM.
Arsenicjade: you said NO SEX
Amand-r: oh shit. YES. DAMMIT. I THINK THE CAPS HAVE BEEN INVADED BY DALEKS AGAIN. omg...
wait. when we mistype anything in caps ever again, we can blame it on them.
Arsenicjade: good thinking
Amand-r: ALWAYS. Downside-- you'll never know when it's me, or when it's daleks trying to make you think it's me.
Arsenicjade: this is dangerous. we should come up with a contingency identification system
Amand-r: yes. and we should plan it in all lower case so that we are not overheard. by the daleks.
who apparently can spy on us via capslock.
Arsenicjade: well, obvs
Amand-r: suddenly i feel like i'm seven and we're playing boat by sitting on the couch and pretending that everything around us is water.
or rather, something about things we are not supposed to touch being 'hot lava'
Arsenicjade: wait..it isn't?





Amand-r: Hey. I'm losing weight! I fully expect to be thin and fuckable by October.
Then I will go to the UK and have lots of safe sex with many many people, all of whom have spectacular accents and no morals.
Arsenicjade: excellent
Amand-r: It's like Colin from Love Actually, but the reverse gender and country.
THIS IS MY PLAN.
SUPREME DALEK WILL GET LAID.
INDESCRIMINATELY.
Arsenicjade: i wish you the best of luck
Amand-r: I know you do. I'm just messing, anyway. I'll be my usual insular self.
Arsenicjade: whatever, just have fun
Amand-r: And hide in my hotel room when I am not out, wandering alone like a raggle-taggle gypsy-o.
Arsenicjade: you could hide with someone
Amand-r: Like?
Arsenicjade: a boywhore
Amand-r: Ah, but then I'd have to pay him. Her. I like to keep my options open.
Arsenicjade: well, I'm just saying, it's a vaca, you deserve a little sumpin
Amand-r: Like eclairs.
AND PON FARR. LOLOR5.
damn you, dalek supreme! get out of my conversation!
Arsenicjade: pon farr with eclairs would be pretty messy
Amand-r: anything with eclairs would be very messy.
Arsenicjade: hm. I suppose this is true
unless you froze them
Amand-r: and even then. bodyheat, yo.
3:52 PM Arsenicjade: well, with the sex, yeah, but not if you were just, like, using them as projectile weapons, or something
Amand-r: i think that qualifies as pastry abuse.
RULE NUMBER TWO: THERE SHALL BE NO PASTRY ABUSE.
Arsenicjade: okay
Amand-r: THE PUNISHMENT IS. GRAPE NUTS. CONSUME A WHOLE BOX WITHOUT MILK OR ANY OTHER LIQUID REFRESHMENT.
Arsenicjade: is that even humanly possible?