amand_r

A long time ago, in a fandom far far away,

amand_r to write her a slash story. But before Amand-r wrote it, jam had some

Amand-r: Oh, hell, I should write the damn slash.
Jamwired:: yes!!!! you'd be my hero!!!
Amand-r: *lol*
Jamwired:: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Dunkie?"
"I think so, Meefus, but I don't think Joe will dress up in drag for us."
Amand-r: *lol*
Jamwired:: "Dunkie, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"I think so Methos, but can you use house paint as a lubricant?"
Amand-r: ouch.
Amand-r: So, this slash story, who shall I have screwing each other into oblivion?
Jamwired:: oooh...um...
Jamwired:: hm...
Jamwired:: i want a methos/duncan or methos/richie first time
Jamwired:: lots of cock fondling.
Jamwired:: i love that.
Jamwired:: whichever you prefer.
Jamwired:: not the cock fondling, the pairing.
Jamwired:: and put some methos masturbation in there too.
Amand-r: Okay.
Amand-r: chuckling.
Jamwired:: oh, wait, wait wait!
Amand-r: what?
Jamwired:: have methos masturbate thinking about duncan and then have methos hop in bed
with richie! or the other way around...
Jamwired:: yeah....
Amand-r: Whoo hoo!
Jamwired:: *rubbing hands together maliciously*
Amand-r: and here's the problem I have with that... how the hell do I explain that?
Jamwired:: what? does it matter? just make it one of those gay stories.
Amand-r: Richie's sudden attaraction to men?
Jamwired:: no, wait.
Amand-r: drugs?
Amand-r: drunkenness?
Jamwired:: no. okay, methos thinks about richie, and has sex with duncan.
Jamwired:: oh! you could make it right after they'd met.
Jamwired:: methos and richie
Amand-r: heh.
Jamwired:: that would kind of explain it.
Jamwired:: why methos was thinking about him
Amand-r: what, in chivalry?
Jamwired:: yeah, yeah, and then duncan gets drunk because methos killed kristin and one thing leads to another...
Amand-r: wait, who is screwing who here?
Jamwired:: Okay, a few days or a day (i don't know how long the episode was spanned over), Methos masturbates thinking about richie just 'cause richie was cute and his hot little 18 year old body popped to mind. Then, the night after Methos kills Kristin, Duncan gets drunk, Methos pops over...and Methos seduces Duncan.
Jamwired:: i mean a few days after he'd met
richie.
Amand-r: all right, I think I got it.
Jamwired:: and don't call richie "richard" i hate that.
Amand-r: nonononono.
Jamwired:: and don't make any lovey stuff. no "Duncan, i love you". and don't use the pet name "love". i hate that too.
Amand-r: no, just nasty sex.
Jamwired:: and try to keep the sex talk to a minimum when they're actually having sex. I hate it t when they start having a conversation in the middle.
Jamwired:: yeah...yeah...
Jamwired:: what else...
Jamwired:: hm...
Jamwired:: i think that's it.
Amand-r: just grunting?
Jamwired:: huh?
Jamwired:: i'm just trying to make sure you make this story geared to my taste. it's for *me* after all.
Amand-r: *sigh*
Jamwired:: eeeehehehehe
Jamwired:: i wuv woo
Amand-r: last call for things you want, cause I'm saving this conversation...
Jamwired:: um...
Jamwired:: thinking, wait...
Jamwired:: make it more real
Jamwired:: don't use any funny stuff for lubricant.
Jamwired:: DON'T USE BUTTER FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Jamwired:: and no food. don't involve food. or feet! no foot masaging or toe sucking. bleh
Jamwired:: okay, that's all i can think of.
Jamwired:: oh, one more thing. NO OFCs!!! no exception!
Amand-r: how long do you think this is gonna be anyway?
Jamwired:: i dunno.
Jamwired:: i'm just giving you what i like/dislike to prepare you for all possible outcomes
Jamwired:: oh oh@ and end it badly so that there's no chance that they'll get back together.
Jamwired:: duncan wakes up in the morning and regrets everything. so he kicks methos out and pretends it never happened.
Amand-r: Yes!
Jamwired:: 'cause after all, he was drunk, he hardly remembers anything, only that he woke up naked, next to Methos.
Amand-r: heh, cool. and methos is unsympathetic.
Jamwired:: yeah, he just says "fine, whatever you big idiot. leaves and forgets about it too.
Jamwired:: and don't call mac "highlander"
Amand-r: I might have to but not outloud, boo.
Jamwired:: i mean, you can clal him that, just don't have methos call him that.
Jamwired:: right.
Jamwired:: oh, and have methos say "duncan" only once or twice (preferably once)
Jamwired:: 'cause he doesn't use it a lot.
Jamwired:: like right on orgasm or somethign'
Amand-r: okay!
Jamwired:: and have lots of nipple teasing.
Jamwired:: okay, now i'm done.
Jamwired:: wait, methos nipple teasing, not duncan.
Jamwired:: now, done.
Jamwired:: yeah, have methos tease his own nipples when he's masturbating.
Amand-r: you sure?
Jamwired:: done.
Jamwired:: what?
Jamwired:: i just said about 3 lines there all in a row
Jamwired:: the nipple teasing?
Jamwired:: yeah, duncan's chest is too hairy, i just can't get in the groove.
Amand-r: okay.
Jamwired:: and don't title it with a noun and a verb
Amand-r: huh?
Jamwired:: like i was saying earlier.
Amand-r: killing the bat?
Amand-r: wrecking the carpet?
Amand-r: eating the walrus?
Jamwired:: right. the hand that bites. the dick that sucks.
Jamwired:: exactly
Jamwired:: just call it: Methos, Sex, and Cindy
Jamwired:: wait a minute...
Jamwired:: no.
Amand-r: No, I shall title it.
Jamwired:: Methos Jams his Dick up Duncan's Ass
Jamwired:: that way it has my name in it.
Jamwired:: oh, and i like duncan underneath for some reason.
Jamwired:: no, no!
Jamwired:: i meant methos!
Jamwired:: erase that!
Jamwired:: DUNCAN ON TOP! METHOS ON BOTTOM!
Jamwired:: or, if you like it the other way, i don't mind too horribly
Amand-r: I shall seeee.
Jamwired:: it's okay the other way. i don't have *really* strong feeling about it
Jamwired:: so, what's your title?
Amand-r: I don't have one yet.
Jamwired:: ah...
Jamwired:: call it. No Business Like Ho Business
Jamwired:: *LOL* that cracks me up
Jamwired:: LOLOLOL
Jamwired:: ho...business...*snort, sniff*