amand_r

I like to think that he died as he lived: with quiet and clandestine dignity.

Or something.

So flashback to yesterday: something in my office smells funny. I think that it is the room, because the windows do not open here, so the ventilation is bad. I ignore it. Late at night it gets stronger, and I start to wonder if one of the kitties hasn't unleashed her excremental fury in a protest of their living conditions (occasionally they protest the state of the litter box in such a way.)

But then it starts to dawn on me: Blarg has not run on his wheel all week.

I open the lid to the age and poke the huge nest that is Blarg's sekrit base of gerbilly operations, where I imagine that he comes up for all his madcap schemes of world domination. Hey, I've never asked. I live in a very strict rule of respecting the privacy of the gerbil, especially one as anti-social as Blarg.

The smell is decidedly stronger, and there is no viper-like attack of gerbil incisors. In fact, there is no response at all.

I mourn, for Blarg, Destroyer of Worlds, is dead.

I guess he was 2 and a half, which as far as gerbils go, is pretty old. I wake up Tianyu at 2 in the morning and we bury Blarg--

Okay no, we dump the contents of the cage in a bag and then put it into box, which we decorate with marker drawings and dump in the skip, but still.

A fitting burial for a gerbil. Plus, we weren't touching something that smelled that bad unless it was...well, we'd never touch anything that smelled that bad.

In summation:

Blarg, how I will miss getting up in the middle of the night to scream at you and take the squeaky wheel away. I will miss the fact that you attempted several coups, and while none of them were successful, the neo-facist world will mourn the loss of their great leader. Lo, for you were small, but so was Mussolini.

I imagine that you are in gerbil heaven, getting a pretty little gerbilette to twist your nipples while you torture some little piggy. Yea and verily.

One day, I will lift a mug of mead and sing of the gerbil who almost conquored the world by astral projecting into the body of George W. Bush. Or maybe...