I love you, Cracked.

Where else do you get dry writing like this?

You're begging us now, "Please, Cracked, don't tell us that all of that stuff about Thor and his hammer, Odin, Loki and other Marvel properties are horseshit made up to sell some books!" Unfortunately, our dedication to the truth is only seconded by our dedication to killing your dreams. Pretty much everything we know about Scandinavian paganism comes from the Eddas, two books compiled in the 13th century by a guy with the hilarious, Muppet-like name of Snorri Sturluson.

Bwahaaahahaha.

Viv: When I grow up, I want to be a mommy.
My mum: You could be a mommy. You could be something else too, if you wanted to be.
Viv: Some mommies say very bad words.
My mum: o_o Orly? Like which mommy says bad words?
Viv: My mama says very bad words, but I'm not allowed to say them.
My mum: Well, just this once. Only so you can tell me. Which bad words? Like what?
Viv: son of a bitch.
My mum: Yeah, that's pretty bad.
Viv: Damn it.
My mum: Yeah, not something we want to hear you say, unnerstand? What else?
Viv: Shut up.
My mum: Oh definitely, you don't wanna say that one.
Viv: But next time when I get bigger I can say them.
My mum: How about you wait until you have your own place? You just might be safe with those then...
Viv: I could build things. Like Bob the Builder.
My mum: You certainly could. You can do anything you want...except say those words for a while...