Methos Masturbation Fic

Okay, here goes. I hate writing sex. I don't even read most of the sex scenes in stories because they make me cross my eyes and never want to have sex again. So if it sucks, you can blame the fact that I think most words for the male anatomy sound too funny to be sexy, and therefore have a hard time using them in all seriousness. But I said I would, plus it was supposed to be a funny mock fic, and then, turned into...this. For the ladies of ODM/lj. Here's hoping that none of your chakras are stimulated, because I can't take the wank (HAH! Two erotics jokes in one! Wah!).

"Mirror masturbation is a confrontation with your essential self, your uncluttered beauty and your most real sexuality. " (Eric Francis)

( ~this ain't got no title~ )

( none o' that exposition crap, lady, skip to teh s3x0r! )

( Amand-r's husband shows how a guy would write this story. )