a blatant misfiring of the local language

[amand_r]

1. mrsalemp rescued a set of Swainson's Hawks and named one of them Captain Jack Hawkness. It's pretty sweet, except that the second one, whom she almost named Ianto, died (he was pretty hurt when they rescued and turned him over,TBF), and now Jack apparently has West Nile Virus and refuses to eat. OH MY GOD THE PARALLELS (that I drew in my head in the manner of a crazy person who sees her own life in the three line horoscope in the paper). Patelyne has pics in her LJ, though, and bonus: THE VET CANNOT TELL WHETHER JACK IS A BOY OR GIRL. PART OF ME FINDS THAT HYSTERICAL. Pat, your story totes made my day.

2. kalichan asked for the post-it, so I made it. rm, I tried to put you in a suit. Also, smirnoffmule! WE ARE IMMORTALISED!



3. The kidlet and I are…we're having serious talks about chocolate milk, and how we cannot have it all the time. It's Ovaltine, not chocolate milk, BTW. I hate that shit like burning. Nastay. Anyway. It goes like this:

Mommy: Do you want a drink?
Viola: Scotch and soda.
Mommy: Think again.
Viola: Chocolate milk? (which is really just, "chocomilk?")
Mommy: You had some with lunch. How about juice?
Viola: KITTY REJECTS YOUR OFFERING ::headspinning:: YOUR MOTHER'S IN HERE WITH US, CARIS. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.
Mommy: Ohhhhhh kay. ::sets cup of white milk on the table::
Viola: IF I HAD THE RING, THE UNIVERSE WOULD BE MINE TO CONTROL. ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR.
Mommy: Go to your chair.

Later:

Mommy: Do you want a drink? (see how I set myself up for this shit?)
Viola: Chocomilk?
Mommy: No, I don't think so.
Viola: CHOCOMILK.
Mommy: Yeah, 'kay. ::hands her a cup of water::
Viola: ::looking at the cup of water:: Nooooo! (as she does this she runs away, hands flailing, like a muppet)
Mommy: Go to your chair.
Viola: ::is already in the chair:: I'M DONE. AHAAAHAHAHGHRHGHAH I'M DONE.
Mommy: Obviously if you're screaming about being done then you're not done.
Viola: I'M BLOGGING ABOUT THIS WHEN I GET OLDER.
Mommy: I ALREADY BEAT YOU TO IT, CUPCAKE.
Viola: You're the reason I'm in therapy!
Mommy: Haahahahaha welcome to the human race.

Ours is a loving relationship.

4. Just for you. (h/t kwanalicious)

5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ME. (h/t, sthayashi)

6. 51stcenturyfox, here's your sexy Mermaid song, courtesy of Great Big Sea.

7. Die Trufachts: for the past three nights in a row, one of my recurring dreams involves me trying, and failing to correctly install my shower curtain rod.

Comments

Re: Shower curtain rods

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I have seen them, and man do I want one.

In the dream, the rubber parts that wedge the rod up are old and cracked and dry, so the only thing keeping it up is the sheer pressure. NOT UNLIKE MY CURRENT RL SHOWER CURTAIN ROD.

Re: Shower curtain rods

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

Um, y'all ever hear of shower doors? No curtain necessary. Nothing blows around when the air shifts in the room. And you don't have to replace them every six months or so when they start falling apart from bizarre moldy funkitude.

I realize they can also be boring, because they're a fixed thing. You can change your bathroom by changing the curtain. But I will take a picture of my mom's bathroom, so you shall see that no amount of shower door will stop the most devoted of lace flingers. My mom's shower door has valances. And tie backs. And rosettes. It's sorta so appalling that it's almost good.

Re: Shower curtain rods

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

My parents have a shower door, but I rent a townhouse, so no door installation for me. You know what I hate about shower doors, though? The soap scum. Our Pgh water is hard as shit, and my parent's doors are cloudy with mineral deposits, no matter what they do.

Right now, my shower curtain is clear with a map of the world. Clear, so I can see the psychos coming, map of the world, so I can figure out where places like Svalbard and the Jan Mayen Islands are. OH AND SO I CAN ACCURATELY DRAW THE BRITISH ISLES ON A POST IT.