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When I grow up, I want to be Hudson Hawk.
WARNING, some of this shit was left over from yesterday, when I didn't really post an update. So it might be out of date. Like 60 year old Coco Chanel.
1. What do we think of stories that have no dialogue? How about stories that only have one line of dialogue at the end of each scene? Too pretentious? How about ::shifty eyes:: polyamorous fic? Five way domestic? Hot tub sex Gwen/Rhys/another, possibly Jack or Ianto? Lisa/Jack/Ianto? Yes? AU? POLYAMORY? Is parapalegic sex sexy? I ask that with love. (I SAID OUT OF DATE. THAT LAST QUESTION STILL STANDS. So do the first three.)
2. I AM A MEMBER OF TORCHWOOD 5. For all you people who didn't know that. I just roll that way. I am thinking our theme song should be this. Or this.
3. I finally did that fucking personality test thing, after three FAILED TRIES, and I am a freewheeling…uh….psychopath or something. So hard to remember when it's not in front of me. It's too hard to click the mouse keys. All this smiling makes my face ache.
4. 192 times in 30 seconds! AW SHIT! AND THAT WAS AT 10:56 PM!
5. In the past few days, I seem to be getting an influxcapacitor of friends! Welcome peeps! Honest to god, this is how it works in our LJ relationship here, like if you were Eminem and you were rapping: I just say whatever I want, to whoever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want. Incidentally, that's pretty much how I regard this journal, too. Talk to me, hos. But if you make me cry, I'll, uh, probably whine about it and YOU'LL HAVE TO READ ABOUT IT HERE! AND IT WON'T BE BEHIND A CUT. Think about THAT.
6. Harry Potter fandom: has anyone ever written a story in which all the bumper quotes to the scenes were Wrock lyrics? Because in listening to Draco & the Malfoy's "My Dad is Rich," I was suddenly overcome with the hilarity of using the lyrics to open a Harry/Draco story. Not that I'd write that.
7. Amand-r: Why are you still up? Why am i still up?
Kel: we are 2 crazy peas in a hot-taser pod?
Amand-r: awwwww sheeit. i'm gonna kick neifile's ass with taser coffee brewing.
Kel: hahaha!
Amand-r: naw. she'll kill me. she has three graduate degrees! I just have the one degree! BUT MY COFFEE FU IS STRONG. I LEARNED AT THE FEET OF JUAN FUCKING VALDEZ.
8.
a. Opening scene: now I know what Bill's fangs are for—chewing scenery.
b. I forgot how much I live Dr. Ludwig
Eric: It is always a pleasure doing business with you.
Dr. Ludwig: Fuck off!
c. PAM. OH PAM. "Pam is extremely lazy. But loyal."
Eric: And Pam? They were great pumps.
d. THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT MARIANNE'S SOUP.
e. That last scene in the car with Bill and Sookie? OMG A MILLION FANFIC WRITERS COULD HAVE DONE THAT SCENE BETTER.
f. WHAT THE SHIT, DAPHNE?
RANDOM CHARACTER THINGS:
BILL/ERIC: They are so gay 4 each other. Really. Where's the Bill/Sookie/Eric fic? Fuck that, where's the Bill/Eric/Pam fic?
JASON: Okay, I was starting to like his whole thing, and I really loved his speech. I liked how both he and Sookie had some eye opening thoughts this week, Jason about how vamps are probably better, and Sookie about how they're worse. That was actually pretty good, and this thinky thought makes up for the fact that in my notebook I have scribbled: "JASON STACKHOUSE, TOPLESS—I WOULD. I REALLY WOULD."
TERRY BELLEFLEUR: I ♥ you so much. WHERE IS THE TERRY FIC? HUH, PEOPLES? DO I HAVE TO WRITE IT MYSELF? BECAUSE I REALLY CAN'T RIGHT NOW.
JESSICA: Gets the best use of Marcy Playground ever. This things with her and Hoyt? OH HOYT. I LOVE YOU HOYT. The whole thing is cute as a fucking bloody button,, and I mean bloody as in blood, as in there will be some.
TARA: I liked Tara a lot this episode. I really liked her scene with Marianne in the kitchen, and the realization that she makes about the party, though I'm still not sure why it bothered her so much. Thoughts?
Quoteables:
HOYT: You should try the chicken fried steak. It's like a chicken and a steak got together and made a baby. A crispy…baby.
REV. NEWLIN: Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anyone.
Hoyt: You get to live here. Must be pretty cool.
Jessica: Not really. It’s filled with is creepy stuff. And he makes me sleep in a hole.
Hoyt: Yeah. My momma keeps her doll collection in my closet.
1. What do we think of stories that have no dialogue? How about stories that only have one line of dialogue at the end of each scene? Too pretentious? How about ::shifty eyes:: polyamorous fic? Five way domestic? Hot tub sex Gwen/Rhys/another, possibly Jack or Ianto? Lisa/Jack/Ianto? Yes? AU? POLYAMORY? Is parapalegic sex sexy? I ask that with love. (I SAID OUT OF DATE. THAT LAST QUESTION STILL STANDS. So do the first three.)
2. I AM A MEMBER OF TORCHWOOD 5. For all you people who didn't know that. I just roll that way. I am thinking our theme song should be this. Or this.
3. I finally did that fucking personality test thing, after three FAILED TRIES, and I am a freewheeling…uh….psychopath or something. So hard to remember when it's not in front of me. It's too hard to click the mouse keys. All this smiling makes my face ache.
4. 192 times in 30 seconds! AW SHIT! AND THAT WAS AT 10:56 PM!
5. In the past few days, I seem to be getting an influx
6. Harry Potter fandom: has anyone ever written a story in which all the bumper quotes to the scenes were Wrock lyrics? Because in listening to Draco & the Malfoy's "My Dad is Rich," I was suddenly overcome with the hilarity of using the lyrics to open a Harry/Draco story. Not that I'd write that.
7. Amand-r: Why are you still up? Why am i still up?
Kel: we are 2 crazy peas in a hot-taser pod?
Amand-r: awwwww sheeit. i'm gonna kick neifile's ass with taser coffee brewing.
Kel: hahaha!
Amand-r: naw. she'll kill me. she has three graduate degrees! I just have the one degree! BUT MY COFFEE FU IS STRONG. I LEARNED AT THE FEET OF JUAN FUCKING VALDEZ.
8.
a. Opening scene: now I know what Bill's fangs are for—chewing scenery.
b. I forgot how much I live Dr. Ludwig
Eric: It is always a pleasure doing business with you.
Dr. Ludwig: Fuck off!
c. PAM. OH PAM. "Pam is extremely lazy. But loyal."
Eric: And Pam? They were great pumps.
d. THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT MARIANNE'S SOUP.
e. That last scene in the car with Bill and Sookie? OMG A MILLION FANFIC WRITERS COULD HAVE DONE THAT SCENE BETTER.
f. WHAT THE SHIT, DAPHNE?
RANDOM CHARACTER THINGS:
BILL/ERIC: They are so gay 4 each other. Really. Where's the Bill/Sookie/Eric fic? Fuck that, where's the Bill/Eric/Pam fic?
JASON: Okay, I was starting to like his whole thing, and I really loved his speech. I liked how both he and Sookie had some eye opening thoughts this week, Jason about how vamps are probably better, and Sookie about how they're worse. That was actually pretty good, and this thinky thought makes up for the fact that in my notebook I have scribbled: "JASON STACKHOUSE, TOPLESS—I WOULD. I REALLY WOULD."
TERRY BELLEFLEUR: I ♥ you so much. WHERE IS THE TERRY FIC? HUH, PEOPLES? DO I HAVE TO WRITE IT MYSELF? BECAUSE I REALLY CAN'T RIGHT NOW.
JESSICA: Gets the best use of Marcy Playground ever. This things with her and Hoyt? OH HOYT. I LOVE YOU HOYT. The whole thing is cute as a fucking bloody button,, and I mean bloody as in blood, as in there will be some.
TARA: I liked Tara a lot this episode. I really liked her scene with Marianne in the kitchen, and the realization that she makes about the party, though I'm still not sure why it bothered her so much. Thoughts?
Quoteables:
HOYT: You should try the chicken fried steak. It's like a chicken and a steak got together and made a baby. A crispy…baby.
REV. NEWLIN: Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anyone.
Hoyt: You get to live here. Must be pretty cool.
Jessica: Not really. It’s filled with is creepy stuff. And he makes me sleep in a hole.
Hoyt: Yeah. My momma keeps her doll collection in my closet.
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It seems like it'd be a longish story, and I think the narrative would distance the reader too much if you didn't go in and make it more immediate here and there (if that makes sense). Not sure how well it lends itself to (hot) sex scenes either, if you're going for that, but that could be because it's not my pairing. If key-scenes-dialogue doesn't do it for you, maybe you could intersperse it with short dialogue-only parts. A bit gimmicky, though, I guess.
Hm, that's a lot of ifs.
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The beginning doesn't really do it justice in the terms of pacing, because I want to get them to Cardiff. Like all of this is set up, you know, and then it slows. I dunno. We'll see. When I think if show, don't tell, what I think if is the whole spewing of internal thought processes, not the lack of dialogue or the use of a matter of fact narrative, because actions are telling in that. They're just narrative actions. Shit, that was what I was trying to say earlier.
I fail at communications.
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Think we agree that you're showing-not-telling plenty in the bit you posted, though. Sometimes, as one essay once said, "He turned on the lamp," is perfectly fine writing. He doesn't need to reach for, find and pull the string. And if we were to take show-don't-tell far enough, we'd have mimes, not writers. Would make for a very different kind of porn. Less, too, probably.
That was a bit of a tangent. I'd be interested in seeing the new version, though. And okay, I get what you mean about the pacing. It wouldn't be much of a story if everything happened so fast. I still imagine the style to be distancing, if stuck to throughout, but it's hard to say for sure without reading the story.
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