amand_r: (politics/crackerjacks)
amand_r ([personal profile] amand_r) wrote2009-09-14 11:56 am

weekend edition: everybody booze up and riot!

AMAND-R: Hi there!
INTERNETS: Amanda, where did you go this weekend?
AMAND-R: The Beer Festival!
INTERNETS: Was it good?
AMAND-R: I got wasted!
INTERNETS: Sounds like fun!
AMAND-R: It was, until I booted!
INTERNETS: Did you take pictures?
AMAND-R: Boy, did I!






[livejournal.com profile] emquilxy, Jeannie and Stu have no idea what they are in for. Well, Em does, but the others are clueless.

On the way in, we saw so many beer t-shirts and hats that we decided that no one should "wear the t-shirt of the beer you're going to drink. Don't be that guy. DON'T BE THAT GUY."


I thought about asking the Troegs people to put an ad on my car. What?


Yeah, it was inside. It wasn't a festival, per se. It was a tasting, with beers from 35 different local brewers. No one seems to police how much you've had to drink. There's free food. There was a band. A band. WOOT.



This is the sign for a new molecular gastronomy place that is going to open in Pgh soon. They gave me a black-eyed pea taco. IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER, AND I WAS SOBER.


I don't know about you, but when I think of getting plastered, I think of the Amish. That said, their Strawberry Wheat was easily one of the best beers I had all night.


I took this blurry photo of this dude's shirt, because is THE UGLIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN A GROWN MAN WEAR. AND IT WAS SHINY.


MAH PEEPS. What I like about that first photo is that Emily and Bren are blurry in the foreground, but my auto focus clearly wanted to settle on Sean, macking it in the middle. In the second pic, Jeannie is starting to understand just how much trouble she is in.


KEGERATOR.


Here in Pennsylvania we are known for our chainsaw art. In fact, Emily grew up in the CHAINSAW ART CAPITAL OF THE COUNTRY/WORLD. LOOK HOW THAT DUDE cuts towards himself with the chainsaw whilst casually smoking a cigarette. Srsly, I think I almost severed my femoral artery watching him. IT'S OKAY, LAWS/KEL/BEES/LIONESS, we could have just packed it in hamburger!



My drunk ass thought of you when I took these pics. This might have been the moment I stopped to Twitter you guys. Didn't I say something about doing GDL? I think his band was there.


There you go, [livejournal.com profile] spiderine.


Home of the RAILBENDER. Honest people, we have a friend who had documented proof that every time she gets drunk from this beer she wakes up without pants. IT WILL KICK YOUR ASS.


My favorite brewery, EVAR. They make White Magik of the Sun and Pilzilla. PILZILLA.


The saxophone dude giving my drunk ass the eye! Also, HOT DOGS. THEY WERE VERY GOOD, BUT I DO NOT REMEMBER EATING THEM. I AM SURE THAT I DID.

The whole thing went from 5 to 8, and eventually we went back to Em's; by 9 pm I was on the couch in the den, sleeping. As the beavers in my head began a massive construction project, I attempted to waterlog their project with a shower, only to somehow end up lying on the floor under the shower spray, talking to Em, who sat on the floor out in the main area. Then Jeannie came in and we had a girl session. And in the middle of all of it she made a Doctor Who joke, so I said,

Me: Do you watch newWho?
Jeannie: OMGNFVFKG'GJPBJPBJOBOBJ JACK HARKNESS.
Me: flvjfpvifnb'knfb'kjPEENMFVPFJVF'K'COCK.
Jeannie: OMG DID YOU WATCH CHILDREN OF EARTH??
Me: clefkvj'bpjbpbngjnpjdn
Jeannie: I HAVE THIS THEORY THAT DAVID LYNCH IS SCARED OF THE VAGINA. BUT IT'S A CHARMING AWE FILLED FEAR. RUSTY IS ALSO AFRAID OF THE VAJAYJAY, BUT IN THE BAD WAY, AND I SHALL EXPLAIN.

I would tell you all the secrets of the universe, but I cannot remember it. Alas, much like that last glass of Lime Wheat from the TRASH brewers, it sounded like a great idea at the time.

Then I took a chunk out of my foot and bled all over the floor. Blah blah, I got home, blah blah shower, hit my foot in the same place in a different shower and bled all over the floor again.

WOKE UP WITHOUT A HANGOVER. THAT'S RIGHT, ALL THOSE CHICKENS I SACRIFICED TO OGUN AND MARINETTE HELPED MY SHIT OUT.



The lesson of the weekend is: do your voodoo sacrifices before you leave the house to go get wasted.

[identity profile] smirnoffmule.livejournal.com 2009-09-14 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
AHAHAHA I DID NOT REALISE AMERICA HAD REACHED THE LEVEL OF CULTURAL ADVANCEMENT AT WHICH BEER FESTIVALS OCCUR. I heard you saying on twitter you were going, but I imagined you were going to like Bavaria or somewhere.

The chainsaw art is fricking badass.

On a related note to gay men and fear of minge, there's Watchmen also, wherein the squid Adrian drops on New York - which is as far as he's concerned the the most vile and alien and terrifying beast that the great creative minds of his era can concieve of - somewhat resembles a lady's vagina. Well, apparently. I think it just looks like a squid myself.

[identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com 2009-09-14 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
WHAT IS WITH THE VAG FEAR, DUDES? WHAT?

THAT CHAIN SAW LADY. I WANTED TO HAVE HER BABIES. BUT FIRST, SHE HAS TO PUT DOWN THE SAW.
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[identity profile] mackiedockie.livejournal.com 2009-09-15 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
That's a Stihl chainsaw! That's a good saw. You might warm up to it if you got to know it. Mine is very dependable and mostly harmless. Even after I accidentally dropped a tree on it. See? Very forgiving. And the vibration is unreproducible.

[identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com 2009-09-15 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
I'm just saying that I don't think we should be running the saw while we're trying to make babies, is all. :P
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[identity profile] mackiedockie.livejournal.com 2009-09-15 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
Ah. Good point. But you can still wear your safety goggles.

[identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com 2009-09-15 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
Safety goggles are sexy!