amand_r: (waaaaaaaa)
Okay. So.

I opened a document to start a new story (in which vampires are normal and humans are the myth. I'm working on it.), and I couldn't face the whiteness. So I opened episode 8 and corrected the grammar there, and then. Then. I looked down.

There, from under the L key—dust. I saw that.

So after about twenty minutes of tweezing clumps of cat hair and dust and detritus from my keyboard, I stopped to consider that I might have a small problem.

Writer's block.

It's not like I haven't had it before, the erectile dysfunction of the literary world (can you tell how desperate I was to make that joke?), but this comes at a time when I am teeming with ideas. I have about a dozen scenes in the season 4 that I'd love to put down. I have about thirty short stories in various stages of development. I have four stories that I should edit and resubmit.

I'm going to have to drop out of the tw genfic fest. I know it's not going to be done. It's not even started. It's planned. I could start it and get myself rolling, but I can think of so many other things that are more important, like the stories for money. I can't make myself work on fanfic because I think I have to get more stories done so I can sell them.

I have to relax.

Here's how bad it is: I get Poets and Writer's Magazine, and I use the back to mine for submissions, and I haven't opened the last 2 (it's every other month, so that should tell you something) because the Jan/Feb issue is titled 'The Inspiration Issue'. Look at that cover and tell me that's not intimidating. Or it could just be me.

It's not a new thing that I don't like to listen to other people talk about their writing. And I don't mean in a "this is my plot" way. That's okay. I don't like to listen to meta about writing. I don't care about why someone writes, or how they do it, or what drives them. Because it makes me think about what drives me, and I don't care about that either. Everyone seems more together than me. Everyone seems to think this is…important enough to talk about (I think I'm doing that now). All I know is that the more I think about my process, the worse my fic is received, the less it's liked, so I don't LIKE to think about it. So, there.

Also: everyone I know is writing a book. One of them sold their book. Others are submitting theirs. I don't even have a short story to send anywhere. Every time I try to sit down and edit, I think, "God, what's the point, editing isn't going to make it better." /whine (If you are one of those people reading this, I sincerely wish you nothing but the best, really, I do.)

Anyway, I am blocked. I even have an idea for a two-column poem about a man licking the print advert for gum in the subway car. See? Ideas. Still. Who's going to buy/print that shit? My gum poem? Fuck that shit.

Part of it is this doubt that I know where to submit my stuff. I don't know. It's not like the shit I read in the samples, and I can't find a place that has stuff like mine. And that bothers me, or something. Or maybe I think it's interesting. I dunno. I just have to find the place.

I feel better just writing all this.

Fuck all that. Okay. Coconut Man, Moonheads, and P.



Next on Amanda blogs: I have discovered how to exercise, and nyah nyah nyah, you bastards. Also, Cashmere Mafia was the worst trainwreck of a show I have watched since The L Word, but I couldn't stop watching.
amand_r: (COFFEE)
I HAVE BEEN UP SINCE 8:30 AND I AM NOT TIRED. I AM GOING TO WRITE A LOT TODAY, BUT FIRST, CLEANING AND SHIT.

AND WHILST I HAVE BEEN FAILING AT A HIGH WORD COUNT FOR NANO, I HAVE NOT BEEN LAX ON STARTING THE PROJECTS EVERY DAY. BEHOLD THE OPENINGS FOR EVERY SHORT STORY SO FAR:

NOVEMBER:

1ST: Cherry thinks that it's fortuitous that her fortune would tell her to be a kid again just as she's thinking about digging into her child's Halloween candy. Dexter is only three, and there's no way in hell he's going to eat all that candy himself, so really, it's her Halloween candy, right? That she had let him go trick or treating two nights in a row in two different places was in no way a reflection on her greed for the can-day.

2ND: Whippoorwill Jones merely hated her name until the first time she saw it in print on her WANTED poster. Then she fucking detested it.

3RD: "That heating blanket doesn't work," I told Carl over breakfast. "It was so hot that I had to throw it off. I kept turning it down."

Carl licked the underside of his spoon, but didn't make a response. I wasn't allowed to talk to him before nine-thirty, but I did anyway, and he ignored it.


4TH: The plaque on the far wall directly in my eyesight each and every day says, "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH: Alice Shand," accompanied by a girl's blond haired, blue-eyed visage staring sullenly at the camera. It's not me. I've only been working here for three months.

Alice has been dead for seven. Still, employee of the month.


5TH: Additionally, my mother has informed me that she's started having visions. Because that's what every child wants to hear. (Sam gave me this one ages ago.)

6TH: Bert is a traffic cop who hates speeding, red lights, pylons, and anyone behind the wheel of a vehicle. This is not to say that he hates you per se. If you met him on the street and waved a hand, shouting a cheery "Hello there!" you'd probably only get a grunt, but grunts doth not equal hate.

7TH: The best thing for the Cracker Barrel, Dodi thought, was to set it on fire. She never would, but she could dream about it.

8TH: They come to the church bake sale with pies and smiles. They leave with empty hands and sense that they have done something to make the world better.

NOW TO WORK ON EPISODE 7. BYE PEOPLES.

HALP.

Oct. 6th, 2010 11:45 pm
amand_r: (the server is robust)
I want to write a novel for Nanowrimo. My problem is that the last time I "won" nanowrimo, I was only 8 chapters in.

This year, I want to do a whole story in 50-60K, and not just the first 1/4 of one.

But I need ideas.

Gimme ideas.

Because I am selfish like that.
amand_r: (amanda is nuts)
1. What's with Family Guy's Conway Twitty thing? It started with short clips, and now 7.13 had a whole performance of "I See The 'Want To' In Your Eyes". Not that I didn't LOL, but what up with this? Did Seth MacFarlane get the rights to all Conway Twitty's music or something?

2. The drawback to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS in my house is that I don't want to write. Why does this happen? It happens when I have a shitload of things to do, that's for damn sure. Wholas, kinky krimmas, the twfemfic fest, about six original fic things to do, plus that charity book thing (NO I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN, TWITTER PEOPLE). I need something to jumpstart my ass. OH AND ALSO I HAVE THAT SEASON OF TORCHWOOD WOT I BE DOING. JESUS.

SOMEONE KICK ME IN THE ARSE.

3. My fried egg fu is sufficiently warmed up, so tonight it's stout and cheddar rarebit with fried eggs and the old stand-by, carrots and leeks. Oh carrots and leeks, why can't I quit you? I am using balsamic vinegar again instead of red wine vinegar.

4. My kid is in preschool! She started Monday, and so far so good.

5. This year she wants to be Snow White for Halloween. See Mander drive from one store to another.

6. I SEE THE 'WANT TO' IN YOUR EYES.

7. Ever look at all your junk and become filled with the urge to see how much of it you can sell? Because I think that might be my new hobby.

8. Writing a short story about a unicorn showing up on a midwest farm, and it's not going to have a happy ending. But all this urban or modern fantasy, I have no idea who takes it. My horror is not going over well with the horror markets. All my rejections are like, "This is good, but it's not us. Do you have anything more us?" It's enough to make a girl turn to poetry. Which, oh hai quiet passion.

9. I keep all my books that I'm currently reading stashed about the house in places. I have, at any given time, about 8 of them, and sometimes I substitute more when I get in a new pulp crap thing that I'll do in three days (or hours). So I finished Wharton, and picked up The Abridged Tale of Genji, like a responsible reader. Then I got waylaid by The Murder of Biggie Smalls. BUT THEN I GOT WAYLAID BY LKH'S NEW ANITA BLAKE BOOK. OH MY GOD IF MY READING HABITS WERE A NASDAQ CHART, IT WOULD LOOK LIKE BLACK MONDAY. With any luck I can skim my way through LKH and back into Biggie and then into Genji and the Burroughs I cracked the other day.

10. Okay, I just want to state for the record that I find it humourous, given the general attitude that the lyrics of Death Row records used to have re: the police, that they would only hire off-duty cops for their security. On one hand it's heartening, because it shows that it's possible to believe in the corruption of some of the police dept and still believe in their abilities or that some of them are good. On the other hand it's lol.

11. I have a mental image of Jack teaching Lois, Maggie and Robert how to lindy hop after hours in the atrium, to this song. They all have their shoes off, and they're goofing off in their stocking feet in the atrium. Gwen and Dee are in their offices pretending they don't hear. But they do. Gwen gives in, but Dee puts her head phones in and listens to Barry Manilow. BEANS AND CORNBREAD.
amand_r: (YOUR MOM)
I HAD SEX WITH GARETH DAVID LLOYD ON A SINK AT DRAGON*CON AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY MANICURE:



Yes, this sums up my whole D*C experience nicely. )

That was my big fat D*C exp. Seriously, few panels, lots of booze, tonnes of food, great people, EXCELLENT CONVERSATIONS, and a renewed sense of writing. I WILL WRITE THAT FPREG. IT WILL BE AWESOME.

OH AND I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A SEASON TO AIR THIS FALL.

Oh, and Jack and Ianto's post-it D*C adventure )

BUT FOR NOW, my dad is out of surgery, and I'm waiting to hear how he is, and I have plans to make biscotti with cabernet cocoa powder, and possibly some cupcakes.

I dreamt about biscotti last night.

I made a list of shit to do divided by pages: on page per category, house, work, online, general, errands, etc. IT'S NINE PAGES LONG.

See ya'll on the flip side.

EDIT: I bought their Netherworld Blend and the Reanimator Blend. The latter is great. Haven't tasted the firmer. Go there and browse the teas and coffees.
amand_r: (christmas/mc chris evergreen)
1. Whoa, what's with the haterade, people over on [livejournal.com profile] torch_wood? Stop being asshats.

2. MEEEEEEEEEEEME. A WRITING MEME. LOTS OF BULLSHIT. )
amand_r: (Default)
Last week I went to the Urgent care because my throat was sore on one side to the point where my neck was sore. The doctor gave me a Z-pak and some magic swizzle, which didn't work because my throat is sore on the outside. The antibiotic, however, worked like a charm and in 2 days I was feeling better. I finished the Z-pak Saturday and all was well.

EXCEPT.

Everything came raging back Monday night. I was due to see my doctor Wednesday, so I held on, and now, I'm still recovering. He gave me a scrip for another antibiotic that is a ten day one. Something about Z-paks not working sometimes due to their brevity. Lovely waste of money, that was.

Anyway, I am tired and sick and I haven't written in 2 weeks because I just haven't felt well enough. well there was that one story. Anyway, I feel...

I dunno if there's a point to writing any more fanfic, actually. That's how I feel. I dunno. I'm writing some and..anyway, whatevs, I feel bad because my betas have been all over it and I feel like they wasted their time. I dunno if I have anything else to say.

Maybe I'm just sick and tired of being sick. And tired.
amand_r: (VSTROYER OF WORLDS)
WORK:
--This week three stories will go out.
--Three more will be done, but I might have to set one of them aside.
--I have to start a set of three. I seem to work best in threes.
--Am getting ready to work on the novel again. The werewolf one. Not the porn. I think I might self publish it. For shits and giggles. No one wants this books, I guarantee.

FANNISH:
--Working on episode 6/14. Total word count: 125,242. It's brilliant, I think. But by the time I'm ready to show it, you will all have forgot me. (insert woe is me).
--Have been doing WIAD, but I feel uninspired and hackneyed. Might just stop now.
--Have a rec list I am compiling, but feel blah about it.

HEALTH:
--Cannot seem to lose weight. Working on it.
--Upped the melatonin back to 3 mg after 1.5 woke me at 4 am repeatedly.
--I hate iron pills. I hate Benefiber. I hate Colace.

READING:
--Finished all of LKH's Anita Blake. Skin Trade wasn't as bad as I remember it being. PLOT. Gratuitous cumshot at the end, though. It was so crass I almost have to give LKH props for putting a pearl necklace in a mainstream book.
--Working on the new Star Wars.
--Stalled on "The Stranger".
--Stalled on Sloane Crosley's "I was Told There Would Be Cake"

KIDLET:
--Potty trained. Did I mention that?
--Also:



THIS ENTRY BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE 'IT'S TOO HOT TO BE OUTSIDE BAH' COMMITTEE.
amand_r: (paperclip/writing)
I have been looking at a lot of short stories in all kinds of genres and in general fiction lately, and I have come to the conclusion that I can't think of these things. Really, I don't have a feel for it. I can do it in fanfic, but when I think of original ideas to write about, they're always very long.

But I'm good at writing to prompt. This leads me to believe I just haven't figured it out yet. Like a tic.

This is where you come in.

I need story ideas. Short story ideas. They don't have to be scifi. They can be non genre. I tried that generator thing but it's too wacked out. I need your ideas. Ones you don't mind parting with. I can come up with a bunch of my own, but for some reason I'm not writing them.

Sentences, scenarios. Prompts, really. It doesn't have to be complicated or hard.

I promise I'll post the stories here and will not make money from them. This is just for practice.

I want to do several stories in between 500 and 2K, possibly more. But let's start small and build.

So come on. For serious. Help a gal out to exercise her rusty muscles? OIL CAN, BITCHES.
amand_r: (west wing/mrs landingham)
Why do so many people say "I usually hate 2nd person, but..." when they want to complement a 2nd person story? Where is this spate of 2nd person POV fanfic? Because I can think of like, maybe ten I've ever read, and three of them are mine. How much can you have possibly read? Do you think then, maybe it's not the POV that bothers you, but that most people do it badly? So it's no big complement to say "I don't usually like it but..." What you should say is, "I find most 2nd person POV to be crap, but yours is good." There is nothing to like or dislike about a POV. There's something to like or dislike about what a person has DONE with a POV.

In any case, even if, after extensive sampling you don't like 2nd pov, it I dunno gives you hives or something, please think of something to say other than, "I don't usually like 2nd pov, but you did a good job! You made a silk purse out of the sow's ear of 2nd person!"

This really had no point. I just feel for others who write in 2nd and when 75% of their comments start with that I feel like checking to see if comments are being made accidentally triplicate.

Anyway, I don't actually care enough to discuss it. I have episodes of Johnathan Creek to watch. WHO IS THIS HO IN THE 4TH SEASON? AND DAMN YOU BBC FOR INTRODUCING HER IN THE CHRISTMAS ONE OFF SPECIAL THAT ONE CANNOT ACQUIRE LEGALLY FROM NETFLIX. FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE EAR, YOU BBC AND YOUR "HOLIDAY SPECIALS".

I know she's Saffy from AbFab. I just don't like her. I don't like that she and Johnathan had sex. I don't like that she's married and they're still playing the UST all over the place. God does that get old. SOLVE THE DAMN CRIME WITHOUT YOUR BOOBS FALLING OUT OF THAT TOP--OOH LOOK, IT'S MANNY FROM BLACK BOOKS.

So, I said that I was at like 58K in my MBABB, and it's upped to about 60 now, but I stopped the other day and went, "What if this is shite? Jesus, what if people are tired of your writing style?" So I thought I'd dump some stuff out on the table for you and make myself feel better.

It's like the bodyswap in a lot of ways--teamy, funny, actiony. It's less about relationships. It's more about Torchwood and what they do, and the emotional/relationship stuff is all in the back. I mean, it happens, but at about the level you see in the show. It's episodic. As in, I'm writing 13 stories, most of which hover around 20K. It has an arc. Like five of them, well okay a lot of them, and it's complicated and I'm writing all the eps at once, actually, though I try to front load, so like 1 is done and betaed, and 2 is done and waiting for beta and 3 is almost done, and I have 4 already well underway. 5-10 are pretty much outlined and started. 11-13 are still in the planning stages, with chunks written, and I add and change as I write from the front.

But right now it feels like a lot of 'Holy crap, what if I do all this for nothing?' And while I'm having a great time, I still like to share what I'm doing, and it's...wow is it fun. It has OCs and old favorites, old gadgets and new ones, a few characters who barely made an appearance in the show. I even manage to find places to work in things like UNIT, the Valiant, PC Andy, etc. It's awesome.

So, because I can never wait, without giving away critical spoilers, I present six samples. )
amand_r: (jawesome!)
1. SO, Veridian Dair, who did art for my Lee/George HP story, has finally posted it in her IJ, so if you would like to comment on her NSFW ART LEIK WOAH, please please please do so over at her place.

2. OMG I HAVE IN IDEA FOR POST IT NOTES. FUCKING A.

3. OMG UHM.

4. Photo essay: Amand-r and the Mysterious Box! )

5. I know I talk about professionally writing a lot, but I never seem to do it, mostly because I don't even know how to go about doing it, but thanks to a few people I have several alternate ideas, and I'm thinking a few irons in different fires might be something. I have no lack of…well, I dunno, writing isn't difficult for me to do, which might be a sign that I don't work hard enough at it, or that it's just something I do well. I don't know what the answer is there. But anyway, I find I'm excited. I have three projects open in front of me and not one of them has a fanfic header.
amand_r: (obligatory serious icon)


So the snow here is almost unbearable. As I type a bunch of men are using poles to remove the snow from the roof of my house, lest i find myself in the middle of a cave in.

I find myself moving sloth-like through the house. I don't want to clean, don't feel like writing, or watching television, all of which normally cheer me to some extent. The kidlet and I spent quite some time playing with playdoh before I realised that I'll have to pitch it all, as it has her sick germs all over it now, and that has to be an incubator for disease.

Am reading the first Dexter novel, and maybe it's because I already know the plot or something, but all I can think as I go through it is, "Jesus, is this clunky." I should put aside my expectations and just go with it. Or I can toss it for the next book. I'm thinking of reading one a week or something. Next on the list, unless I get waylaid by trying to finish the Laurell K Hamilton, is Eckhard Gerdes's Cistern Tawdry, mostly because I like to be reminded about form as function. At this point, I might be interested in the idea of fanfic collage work than actual straightforward writing.

I'm not even remotely as interesting as I used to be, so I suppose I should try to think of something witty to say. Uhm. For reasons that escape me, the paperclip from Microsoft Word won't leave me alone anymore. It used to pop up when I started what it thought was a letter, but now it pops up all the time with useless shit.

Me: (typing)
Paperclip: Hello! It looks like you're typing!
Me: (close)

Me: (typing)
Paperclip: Have you heard about fonts?
Me: (close)

Me: (typing)
Paperclip: You can cut and paste from Word into all kinds of places!
Me: (close)

Me: (typing "Torchwood")
Paperclip: That looks like a metasyntactic variable you're going for there!
Me: (close)

Me: (typing)
Paperclip: I'm lonely.
Me: (close)

Me: (typing)
Paperclip: LET ME LOVE YOU.
Me: (close)

I suppose I just have to go in and turn it off, but now it's become rather charming, like when you're in the middle of something and the same fucker comes up in IM all the time.

Imma get me some Chinese food today.

.....

Jan. 3rd, 2010 12:10 pm
amand_r: (COFFEE)



Yes, I'm writing.
amand_r: (crimmas/ianto's crushing santajack)
1. My Santa idea is fucking BRILLIANT.

2. Anyway, I want to talk about what a douche I am in the matter of talking about fic ideas. )

That said, anyone is free to talk to me about their fic any damn time they want. Any damn time.

3. TOO. MANY. DEADLINES. But still. Good, yeah? A THOUSAND YEARS.

4. That said, the Jaws/Torchwood needs a beta. I will be sending it in chunks (sets of completed chronological scenes) as I finish them. Spag and plot holes. Halp?

5. I want to sell short stories. How do I do this? LOL I kid. No I don’t. For srs, I would research before I asked you dudes. You are busy, and my fingers aren't painted on.

6. I should buy my kid crimmas presents. But I don't know what to get her. Everyone already bought her all the cool stuff.

7. I made cards this year, and you may have already gotten/will be getting one. I made 6 designs total: 5 Torchwood and one custom job. So here they all are, so you can see what everyone else got. )

There we go.
amand_r: (jaws/imma eat y'all)
1. I need the three Torchwood books. You know, The House That Jack Built To House His Concubines and the other two. But see, I have about 400 bucks burning a hole in my paypal account, and I need to use those funds to buy them. THE BOOK DEPOSITORY IS A LYING LOLA WHO SAYS THEY TAKE PAYPAL, BUT THEY DO NOT. Nor does Amazon. WHERE, PEOPLE, GIVE ME THE PAYPAL HOOK UP.

2. I NEED TO BE HIRED AS A WRITER ON PSYCH. FOR FUN.

3. UK TRIP ITINERARY )

4. CALL ME MANDER. SO IT WAS WRITTEN IN THIS BITCHING FIC, CONSUMPTION BY [livejournal.com profile] phaetonschariot, SO MOTE IT BE ANNAT.

5. I might be on cough syrup right now.

6. [INSERT RANT ABOUT ALL KINDS OF SRS BZNS TOPICS THAT HAVE BEEN FLIT FLIT FLITTING ACROSS MY FLIST LIKE SO MANY PAPER CRANES.]

7. [I HAVE A WRITING UPDATE.]

8. [BACON JAM HAS BEEN ACQUIRED, BUT NOT YET TASTED. SWEETBREADS THAWING. MAY IT PLEASE YOU SIR, EAT? MAY IT PLEASE YOU SIR, FEED.]
amand_r: (Default)
1. [livejournal.com profile] omnijaxual has OFFICIALLY OPENED FOR BUSINESS. I have pimped on [livejournal.com profile] torch_wood. Where else to go? I depend on you, my lovelies, to help spread the word. DO IT. THE POWER OF COCK COMPELS YOU (YOUR MOTHER IS IN HERE WITH US, CARYS LOLZ.).

2. Sometimes, xkcd is very very right.

3. So, mystery hives. The return of. I don't want to get into it. Shitbears.

4. I wrote a lot this weekend, but sed non satiata. It was shit writing. I think I have to go 24 hours without typing the word "cock". Hrm. So far off to a bad start.

5. Need to find Absolut Mango. Also, should get screaming brakes on the car fixed so that I don't die on the way to [livejournal.com profile] lawsontl's. Or on the way home. Or anywhere as a result of the faulty brakes.

6. I HAVE NOTHING FOR YOU PEOPLE. GO. AWAY.

OHWAIT. I've had this drawn forever. It sucks. And YET (Instead of yet, we should all say yeti. Really. It'd be fun. Just drop it into conversation and watch the responses.).

Torchwood/Highlander: A Public Service announcement, rated Naughty. )
amand_r: (FLCL/mamimi's underpants)
1. Fox will be at Dragon*Con, but since no one knows what she looks like, give up trying to find her. She is a ninja.

Amand-r: Haahahahha, you're going to find yourself at the hotel bar at 4 am, drunk and chatting up someone dressed as Boba Fett. I BET YOU WILL.
51stCenturyFox: SWEET.
Amand-r:YOU, LIFTY, RM AND BOBA FETT.
51stCenturyFox: It'll be like that Chewbacca fic.

2. I signed my stories up for that DVD commentary thing, over there. Nothing is off limits.

3. I'm pimping my Yami no Matsuei/Torchwood crossover again, because I don't think it got enough love. It's Ianto/Tatsumi.

4. Okay, so for the past few weeks I have been unpredictably and inexplicably breaking into hives. It's never consistent in location—the back of the knee, the wrist, the inner thigh, etc, and its never consistent in duration or timing. I have been going insane. They're itchy, I try not to scratch, I use hydrocortisone, I smack my legs. Jesus I smack my thighs so much that I look like I'm in one of those German log-chopping dances or some horrible hoedown. Srsly, the cast of Hee-Haw called an offered me a job.

So I'm in the shower at 2 am last night, trying desperately to do something about the fact that my calves are covered in hives, and back of my neck feels as if it's been attacked by a hoarde of spiders with laughing gas venom. I've been hitting myself so often that I'm wonder if I might not develop a spanking fetish. Then I wonder if I could get away with writing an Agent Johnson/Alice Moretti spanking fic. Then I soap up my…that netting ball. I shan't call it a poof. I guess I just did. Whatevs.

I'm looking at the bottle of Snow Fairy while I pour it on—blah blah angelic, wicked fruitiness, iridescent sparkles---

Make that record screech noise. Do it. It's funny. Rrrrrrt?

IRIDESCENT SPAR….I tip the bottle and sure enough, it's filled with this white iridescent glitter, miniscule pieces, really, that blend in with the peach colour of the gel. If they hadn't coagulated at the bottom like fucking sediment, I would have never seen them in captivity. It all makes sense now. I have been lathering myself down for close to 4 weeks with the equivalent of soapy snow globe water. I bet I'd glow under a fucking black light. It's like rolling around on a sheet of goddamn pink insulation.

SO, I pull out my trusty "so minty it burns your nether regions" shower gel and go to town in a manner not unlike the decontamination scene from Silkwood. If you're under 30, I bet you won't get that joke.

I feel better already.

WTF, Lush? I see that it is discontinued, but I have told you REPEATEDLY: no one wants glitter on their vag unless they're Ziggy Stardust or Jenna Jamison at a RuPaul concert. And to put your miniscule shrapnel in a shower gel? Jesus. And before you're all, "oh Amand-r, didn't you read the label?" I say NO, IT WAS A GIFT. I DID NOT SELECT IT. ALSO, DO YOU READ THE SIDE OF YOUR CEREAL BOX FOR LABELS THAT SAY 'WARNING LIVE GRENADE INSIDE' BEFORE YOU OPEN IT UP AND STICK YOUR FINGERS IN THERE?

I THOUGHT NOT. 'CAUTION: THESE FARM FRESH EGGS NOW COME WITH 100% MORE MUSTARD GAS! A TEARFUL IN EVERY SHELL.' THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING.

HAHAAAHAHA IT'S FUNNY.

5. The state of the writing. I am writing. It's like breathing. It's all FANTASTIC. It falls out without any effort, which probably means that it sucks. I'm not planning it, per se, beyond a loose outline, but symbols and metaphor are retconning themselves in (I don't write linear-style) as I move through the texts, and I don't have to think about them at all.

And it's original fic. )

Is it porn teims yet?

Haahahahaha it is! HOW FORTUITOUS!
amand_r: (Default)
Can't talk today, my hos. Writing. Look at this instead:



Awww yeah.
amand_r: (deadlikeme/delores has doubts)
1. They forgot the most important myth: IS JAWS NOT OUT TO GET AMAND-R? THE ANSWER IS YES. YES HE IS.



In all seriousness, people, sharks are in danger, and that is a shame because they are FILLED WITH AWESOME (AND BODY PARTS). Don't eat shark products or support things that do. Honest, those poor things AND THEIR ROWS OF RAZOR SHARP TEETH deserve our respect, OUR SPLEENS, and we should give them the chance to survive. SO THEY CAN HUNT ME DOWN AND SLAUGHTER ME IN A FEEDING FRENZY THAT MAKES 300 LOOK LIKE THE WIZARD OF FUCKING OZ.

2. [livejournal.com profile] paragraphs has been talking about her original fic so much that I wrote some of my own. It's. Hrm. If I share it, I trust you people to be all, "Oh she's not crazy, that's just fiction!" Because you know CYS didn't take Steven King's kids away. It's just fiction.

3. My kid screams so much these days I won't be surprised if CYS shows up.

4. Uhm, buried in my fannish post, I ask: does anyone know anything about grief counseling? Like as in how one obtains a career in grief counseling and Thanatology. I can't believe I'm even asking that. But it feels. It feels right. Like what I've been building towards for years. I would like my life to have meaning. Meaning that doesn't involve examining the issues of class in the works of Solheinetzyn and Fitzgerald (bite me, Ivan Denisovich).

5. Beta count down. [livejournal.com profile] curriejean and [livejournal.com profile] beesaandbrews, expect tasty treats later this week. Probably Thursday, if you can wait. Cross your legs and don't think about water. That always works for me.

6. [livejournal.com profile] used_songs, your packet went out this morning.

7. I wish I had mad photoshop skillz. This whole epistolary thing would be so much better if I did. Don't hold that against me. I work with carbon-organics, touchable manipulated items [fancy ass speak for I WRITEZ ON TEH PAPERZ.], but I can't fake photos, people. :(

8.

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December 2011

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