amand_r: (tw/ianto hello!)
1.



2. CANT. STOP. LAUGHING.

3. BUTT.

4. WRITING RCBW STOP SUCKING ASS STOP NOT YOUR ASS STOP YOUR MOM'S STOP HA HA I JUST MADE A YOUR MOM JOKE IN A TELEGRAM STOP EXCEPT THIS ISN'T A TELEGRAM SEMICOLON IT'S A POST ON THE INTERNET STOP I GUESS THESE SHOULD BE CLOSE TAGS OR SOMETHING STOP IS THAT TOO META QUESTION MARK STOP I DUNNO I'M JUST SAYING I HAVE BEEN WATCHING A LOT OF FAMILY GUY STOP WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT QUESTION MARK STOP OH YEAH I'M WRITING AND IT'S NOT GOING WELL STOP MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH TRYING TO WRITE ANGST WHILST HAVING A HEAD FULL OF AN INFANT SAYING 'WHAT THE DEUCE' QUESTION MARK STOP AND AN ALCOHOLIC DOG WHO SINGS SHOWTUNES STOP.

5. I have one sentence of wholas. One. It's four lines long. Wharton, you say? You will recognise my story this week because it will be the only one that, whilst you read it, in your head it's narrated by Joanne Woodward.
amand_r: (west wing/mrs landingham)
1. HAAAHAHAAHAHAH. "NAME THE GUN PART".



2. Okay. Uhm. Yeah. I got nothing. Oh wait! PHOTODUMP!

Stout and Cheddar Rarebit with Fried Eggs. )

3. ME: I should just stop you right now before you proceed to the bank with a business plan where you have liberally sprinkled the word “awesome.”
FLAPJACKS: Why don’t banks like things that are awesome?
ME: They just don’t.


Seriously, Flapjacks is Tianyu and Chris is me.

4. I just megauploaded a .rar file of GBS songs. If you want it shoot me an email. It's all shit from The Hard and the Easy and earlier.

5. BOM CHIKA WOW WOW.

eta: OMG ADOPTED SQUIRREL LEARNS TO PURR. (h/t [livejournal.com profile] emquilxy)

yes, well

Aug. 17th, 2010 11:34 am
amand_r: (VSTROYER OF WORLDS)
My kid isn't the most...verbally fluid of children. I'm just making notes here of things she's saying lately, for myself.

Excuse me=SOOKIE. Lately has devolved into "SOOKIE IS MINE."

Sleeping Beauty=Sleepin Doody
Pinocchio=Punkinyoyo

Hah. Doody.
amand_r: (COFFEE)
I SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. NOT ONLY THAT BUT I WOKE UP AT 8:30 TURNED OVER AND WENT BACK TO SLEEP UNTIL 11 AM.

WHAT CAUSED THIS MINOR MIRACLE? BITE GUARD.

IT IS CONCLUSIVE. GRINDING MY TEETH WAKES ME UP AT 2, 4 AND 6 AM. BASTARDS.

BUT BUT BUT BIB IF THIS MATTERS. NOT ON REX MANNING BACON DAY.

Because [livejournal.com profile] emquilxy beats me every time at the gift giving game. LOOK AT ALL THE BACON:



MORE BACON THAN YOU CAN HANDLE UNDER THE CUT. )

I'm off to read more wholas. And weep.
amand_r: (tw/jack licks eleven)
1. So last night I'm writing a check to the cemetery to put a summer box of flowers at Tianyu's grave, and they ask for the location, and I don't know what the fuck that is. I'll have to dig it out. But I'm sitting there filling out the rest of the goddamn form, and I find myself crying and apologising to Tianyu, and I don't even know what the fuck for. For the flowers, maybe. That that's all I can give him now, maybe. That I rarely go there. I can't look at it. I don't know what to say to it. It's just kind of there. That stone isn't for me. I would have cremated him and sent his ashes to George Takei to dispose of as he saw fit. Or Christopher Lambert. NO NO. JET LI.

Dear Mister Li:

Enclosed is your future.

Sincerely,

Yul Brynner's Rotting Corpse



2. ENOUGH OF THAT BULLSHIT. DON'T ASK ME TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU, WARREN.

(NSFW)



I missed you, threebrain.

3. apparently Scott Baio just went insane, which I am surprised at, because really, Goats has been making fun of Scott for a while.

You know what I'd like to see? Certain celebs given a twitter and free time to use it and get all wrapped up in it, so that we can see the meltdowns we really deserve. Candidates are: Mel Gibson, Debbie Gibson, Naomi Campbell (we might have to supply additional phones), Kirk Cameron PLEASE GOD KIRK CAMERON. Maybe the youngest kid from Hanson.

4. How a shark gets ready.

5. Lastly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa's 1993 masterpiece, "None Of Your Business":

I never put my nose where I'm not supposed to,
Believe me, if he's something that I want, I'm steppin' closer,
I'm not one for playing high-pole
Like the house of ditty 90210 type of ho.
I treat a man like he treats me;
The difference between a hooker and a ho ain't nothin' but a fee.


I feel as if I have been enlightened. I'd also like to mention:

So, yo, so, yo, ho - check it, double deck it on a record butt-naked, but you really have to listen to it: at 2:36

It's also worth it to note that dating the song in the text of the song does not do the song any favours, except that I think that it's charming in a way (1:20). Also, let's give the ladies props for putting a same sex couple in a video back in 1993 (3:14), nicely placed during the line about how no one has the right to judge others. I know it feels like a pittance, but one thing I always admired about SnP was that they were always open minded and fairly liberated in some ways. (Heaven and Hell passes the Bechdel test in a time when most songs were about relationships. The last track on the album is a short skit about HIV from an inner city improv group).

SO, YO, SO YO HO.

Bonus! )
amand_r: (da bing)
FIRST:

1. It is the middle of the night, and you wake from a dead sleep because you have to pee. You shuffle to the bathroom and don't even bother turning on the light because you know the way. While there you realise that you have to use feminine protection. You also notice that you run out of loo roll. You unwrap the loo roll and pull the old roll from the spool, and then sit there, half awake, holding the spool in one hand and the new roll in the other.

The spool is, I repeat, the spool is NOT the feminine protection that you have yet to retrieve. No, I stopped myself before it got that far, but I did wonder why it was so big around whilst I held it.

There's a moral (sp—is that spelled right? Moral? Morel? No that's a mushroom. Moral reminds me of sorrel, which always make me think of High Chapparal. Chapparal? Chaparale? Fuck. I'll quit before I start questioning the spelling of "the" and "chair") here, but I don't know who it is.

2. Watching season one of the Tudors again. Why does everyone give each other brooches? From now on, everyone's getting brooches from me.

Side note: OH HAI THAR, EXTREME HOTTNESS THAT IS JOHN RHYS-MYERS' ABS. HOLY FUCK.

3. In cleaning my house, I am stunned by the sheer amount of junk I have, in the form of bits and baubles and things that I cannot simply throw in a box and label. I have baskets and small boxes of little things that I simply don't know what to do with—things I no longer want and haven't needed in the past three years, not enough to unpack them from the basement boxes in which a great deal of them reside. I find myself pitching large quantities of crap. I want to be as light as possible.

Likewise, wow, half-price books, you are awesome.

Additionally, in going through my shelves and boxes of books in the basement, I am slowly filling a box of books marked, simply, "unread". So this year, I shall endeavor to empty that box. It's filled with contemporary novels, non fiction, and a bunch of classic lit I never got to. Like some Dickens and Orczy and even one or two poets whose volumes I purchased and never finished. I would promise not to buy any more books until I finish these, but that is foolhardy and something to which I can never hold myself. So I shan't lie that way. But it's a goal—read more. Read well. Read smartly.

That said, I read the latest Hamilton Merry Gentry book, Divine Misdemeanours. Hey, it's in my ereader. OMG SPOILERS )

4. OH HAI. RPF/RPS CARNIVALE THIS WEEKEND. RIGHT THE FUCK IN THIS LJ. [livejournal.com profile] cruentum IS SO EXCITED HE'S ABOUT TO VIBRATE THROUGH THE INTERNETS. THEN HE WILL BE THE GHOST IN THE SHELL, AND HE'LL HAUNT YOUR ISP AND WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING YOUR THESIS, HE'LL REPLACE ALL THE IMAGES AND PIE CHARTS IN THE DOCUMENT WITH PICTURES OF JB'S ASS. YOU MIGHT BE AMUSED. YOUR THESIS ADVISOR AT THE ENTOMOLOGY DEPARTMENT PROBABLY WON'T BE. I think I already addressed this above, but whatevs.

Don't let that happen to you. Write for the Torchwood/Doctor Who RPF Carnivale.

5. So we have a little bit of snow in Pittsburgh this past month. So some mutherfuckers decide it's a great time to do some URBAN SKIING. My favorite is probably the Joe Montana bridge at about 4:00 to the end, and if you watch the credits you not only see some awesome FAIL, but you hear them make fun of Yinzertalk, which is always fun. (h/t [livejournal.com profile] emquilxy)

6. I'm in season two of the Sopranos again. How did I miss this gem? TONY: (frustrated and with finality) Cunnilingus and psychiatry have brought us to this.

Yes. Tony. Yes.

7. My TW season 4 file is corrupted or something, and it was my back up copy. I checked the original and it has no changes since last month. It's like Jesus doesn't want me to write TW anymore. Okay, Jesus.
amand_r: (waaaaaaaa)
1. FUCKING SHARK HELL WEEK, DAY THREE: Not really pissed. More like, resigned to futility. LOL. I said it aloud—LOL. YAY!

2. Pondering how some OTC medicines for already embarrassing ailments have even more embarrassing names: Beano, Gas-X, Preparation H (which I guess is not embarrassing unless you know what it is for).

Me: Me, seriously, who likes taking PREPARATION H to the checkout aisle?
Mum: Well, there's always Anusol, that's not embar…oh wait.
Me: THAT WILL NEVER STOP BEING FUNNY.

3. Got a statement for a dental visit from a year ago from my old insurance company this weekend. Read THIS IS NOT A BILL and shrugged. Then today got a bill from my dentist saying "Sorry this is late! We just got the thing from the insurance company! LOL!" for $82. While I am told this might violate HIPPA laws, I'm just going to pay it. Still, just another reminder of the grinding wheels of humanity.

4. I'm still tired.

The rest under a cut: Dexter, writing fanfiction, why continuity errors doesn't bother me, crack, random shoes, disabling comments, when you fall out of love with fandom, and mutual fic masturbation. Oh, and Catherine Parr. And poop. )

That's it. Someone get me a fucking bear claw.
amand_r: (Default)
I take back all the mocking I did. I have never seen it like this. If you live in a place that get a lot of snow, feel free to mock me, but I just wasn't prepared for:

SNOWPOCALYPSE 2010

1. Lost power (re: heat) at 2 am. Ate the kid for warmth.

2. I kid, we did that huddle for warmth thing.

3. Discovered all coffee was unground. Used mortar and pestle.

4. No method of heating water. Did you know that when water is hot enough to burn you in the shower, it is still not hot enough for coffee?

5. Drank coffee anyway.

6. Went outside. Pics included! )

7. Went inside, peeled off clothes (PLUS: I have lost so much weight that I was able to wear my fleece pyjamapants under my old size 14 jeans. MINUS: COLD)

8. After lunch. POWER RETURNS! HUZZAH! COFFEE FIRST, CHARGE CELL, RUN DISHWASHER.
amand_r: (tw/janet likes you)
i am not signing up for reel_tw again
i am not signing up for reel_tw again
i am not signing up for reel_tw again

BUT BUT BUT:

REAR WINDOW.

REAR. WINDOW.

I am thinking that Ianto would be the obvious choice for Jimmy Stewart's character, but because I like to be contrary, I'd find a way to make it Jack. OR Tosh. Can't you see Tosh flipping her shit over her neighbours while she's laid up?

I can.

OMG. NO.

EDIT: OR OWEN. HOLY SHIT OWEN.
amand_r: (christmas/mc chris evergreen)
1. [livejournal.com profile] wherepiesdie is a comm dedicated to a rewatching and discussion of Twin Peaks in its entirety. We plan on doing 2 episodes a week. In the new year. If you've never seen before, or if you're in the mood for a rewatch and a discussion as you go, please check it out.

2. THE BEST SNACK EVER. I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE ALL SNOBBY ABOUT YOUR JUNK FOOD, THESE ARE THE BOMB:

GOLDEN GRAHAMS S'MORES.

A) GREASE 13x9x2" PAN

B) HEAT ¾ C. LIGHT CORN SYRUP, 3TBSP BUTTER, 11.5 oz MILK CHOCOLATE TO BOILING IN A DOUBLE BOILER. REMOVE FROM HEAT AND STIR IN VANILLA.

C) POUR 12 oz. GOLDEN GRAHAMS INTO A LARGE BOWL, TOSS WITH MELTED MIXTURE UNTIL COATED.

D) STIR IN 3 C. MINI MARSHMALLOWS ON CUP AT A TIME.

E) PRESS INTO PAN WITH THE BACK OF A BUTTERED SPOON. LET STAND 1 HOUR. ENJOY THE BLISS.

3. My dad doesn't read my lj, so it's safe to tell the abridged tale of the Snuggie.

Goddamn muther effing sonofabitch. )

4. EVERYONE HAVE AN AWESOME CRIMMAS. I WOULD MAKE YOU A PLAYLIST OF WHAT I AM GOING TO BE LISTENING TO, BUT IT WILL PROBABLY BE ALL OTIS AND OLD LIZ PHAIR. I'M NOT EVEN GETTING DRUNK.

SOME MIGHT SAY I HAVE NO CRIMMAS SPIRIT. THEY MIGHT BE RIGHT.

EAT SOMETHING DANGEROUS FOR ME.
amand_r: (west wing/mrs landingham)
So, yet another story finished. I keep this up, I'll be finished with all my obligations by…next Sunday. BRILLIANT! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Let's do the countdown, shall we? )

I feel I have accomplished a lot today and I haven't even slept yet. Sleep gives you cancer, man, everybody knows that.
amand_r: (the asian persuasion)
I spent yesterday procrastinating and writing and finishing my crimmas cards, which, if I do say so myself, are pretty fucking funny. I'll post them sometime closer to the holiday, because they need to be shared.

But I get ahead of myself! Today! UPDATE! BY! NUMBERS! )

That is all. There aren't the droids you're looking for. There aren't the droids we're looking for. You can go about your business. You can go about your business. Move along. Move along.
amand_r: (jaws/imma eat y'all)
1. I need the three Torchwood books. You know, The House That Jack Built To House His Concubines and the other two. But see, I have about 400 bucks burning a hole in my paypal account, and I need to use those funds to buy them. THE BOOK DEPOSITORY IS A LYING LOLA WHO SAYS THEY TAKE PAYPAL, BUT THEY DO NOT. Nor does Amazon. WHERE, PEOPLE, GIVE ME THE PAYPAL HOOK UP.

2. I NEED TO BE HIRED AS A WRITER ON PSYCH. FOR FUN.

3. UK TRIP ITINERARY )

4. CALL ME MANDER. SO IT WAS WRITTEN IN THIS BITCHING FIC, CONSUMPTION BY [livejournal.com profile] phaetonschariot, SO MOTE IT BE ANNAT.

5. I might be on cough syrup right now.

6. [INSERT RANT ABOUT ALL KINDS OF SRS BZNS TOPICS THAT HAVE BEEN FLIT FLIT FLITTING ACROSS MY FLIST LIKE SO MANY PAPER CRANES.]

7. [I HAVE A WRITING UPDATE.]

8. [BACON JAM HAS BEEN ACQUIRED, BUT NOT YET TASTED. SWEETBREADS THAWING. MAY IT PLEASE YOU SIR, EAT? MAY IT PLEASE YOU SIR, FEED.]

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