amand_r: (rps/it's barrowman country!)
This past weekend I took my kid to DC to see her family and also the pandas, who are like family. Like the shark the panda had millions of razor sharp teeth, which they use like a hacksaw to cut through bone, candy and fences. The Chinese believe that if you find a discarded panda tooth, you have the power to summons Godzilla!

Ahem.

So yeah, here was our trip, pictoral style:

VIVI AND MANDER GO TO DC (NOT DRAGON*CON) )

STAY TUNED FOR THE HALLOWEEN COOKIE DISASTER.
amand_r: (amanda is nuts)


SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK WEEEEEEEK.
amand_r: (da bing)


Spot the addition. I LOFF IT.

Also, Sam mocked this up for me ages ago, and I never uploaded it, DESPITE HOW LOLARIOUS IT IS. I can't lj cut this. I just can't.

amand_r: (tw/jack licks eleven)
1. So last night I'm writing a check to the cemetery to put a summer box of flowers at Tianyu's grave, and they ask for the location, and I don't know what the fuck that is. I'll have to dig it out. But I'm sitting there filling out the rest of the goddamn form, and I find myself crying and apologising to Tianyu, and I don't even know what the fuck for. For the flowers, maybe. That that's all I can give him now, maybe. That I rarely go there. I can't look at it. I don't know what to say to it. It's just kind of there. That stone isn't for me. I would have cremated him and sent his ashes to George Takei to dispose of as he saw fit. Or Christopher Lambert. NO NO. JET LI.

Dear Mister Li:

Enclosed is your future.

Sincerely,

Yul Brynner's Rotting Corpse



2. ENOUGH OF THAT BULLSHIT. DON'T ASK ME TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU, WARREN.

(NSFW)



I missed you, threebrain.

3. apparently Scott Baio just went insane, which I am surprised at, because really, Goats has been making fun of Scott for a while.

You know what I'd like to see? Certain celebs given a twitter and free time to use it and get all wrapped up in it, so that we can see the meltdowns we really deserve. Candidates are: Mel Gibson, Debbie Gibson, Naomi Campbell (we might have to supply additional phones), Kirk Cameron PLEASE GOD KIRK CAMERON. Maybe the youngest kid from Hanson.

4. How a shark gets ready.

5. Lastly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa's 1993 masterpiece, "None Of Your Business":

I never put my nose where I'm not supposed to,
Believe me, if he's something that I want, I'm steppin' closer,
I'm not one for playing high-pole
Like the house of ditty 90210 type of ho.
I treat a man like he treats me;
The difference between a hooker and a ho ain't nothin' but a fee.


I feel as if I have been enlightened. I'd also like to mention:

So, yo, so, yo, ho - check it, double deck it on a record butt-naked, but you really have to listen to it: at 2:36

It's also worth it to note that dating the song in the text of the song does not do the song any favours, except that I think that it's charming in a way (1:20). Also, let's give the ladies props for putting a same sex couple in a video back in 1993 (3:14), nicely placed during the line about how no one has the right to judge others. I know it feels like a pittance, but one thing I always admired about SnP was that they were always open minded and fairly liberated in some ways. (Heaven and Hell passes the Bechdel test in a time when most songs were about relationships. The last track on the album is a short skit about HIV from an inner city improv group).

SO, YO, SO YO HO.

Bonus! )
amand_r: (rps/it's barrowman country!)
1. Okay, John Sacrimoni of course is a horrible man, but one thing I will give him is that he, unlike a lot Of the others, he genuinely loves Ginny and the girls. He even gets into planning the seating (granted he's in the can), but I honestly watch the guy in the show and the affection he shows for his wife and daughters is more than I can say for any number of the others.

2. [livejournal.com profile] aster_laevis sent me the link and she told me it was painted just for me. Io9 cals it The Most Self-Explanatory Painting in Human History. THEY ARE CORRECT.

3. While at the salon getting highlights today, the hairdresser next to me was waiting to hear about her dog, who picked a fight with a bigger dog and was pretty badly wounded and in surgery and things. So We're all sitting there and her phone rings and we're all sitting there listening and she says something to her husband and then all of a sudden she says "Really?" in that sobby voice where you know someone's gonna cry. Se says something about how good it is, and you know that the dog's okay, but she's sobbing in those high pitched sobs, and I'm getting watery, and she's covering her face and she can't speak, and the woman in her chair is wiping her eyes, and people are looking over all over the salon. She's talking to her husband and crying and my hair dresser is all teared up, and when it was all over, everyone in the salon was in some sort of tears. She's apologising, and we're all wiping our faces and then she tells us that she was fine, but her husband was crying on the other end, and that set her off. LAWL.

4. I want a mortadella sandwich.

5. COOKING FAIL! PICS INSIDE! )

6. Also, more random pics. )

I made cheddar crust apple pie. IT SMELLS AWESOME.
amand_r: (jawesome!)
1. Sometimes, I am reminded again why I love the internets.

2. HE CAME FROM THE PLANET OF SOY. WARRIOR OF JUSTICE, KIKKOMAN



3. SERIOUSLY, THIS WOULD HAVE MADE ME WANT TO DONATE MONEY TO HAITI. I DID DONATE, BUT NOW I WANT TO DONATE MORE: FUCK YEAH.
amand_r: (batman/check this shit yo)
1.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES.

2. HAITI: Wrap up on the auction.

LIGHTNING ROUND: stories for [livejournal.com profile] mgtat, [livejournal.com profile] blue_fjords, [livejournal.com profile] cruentum, [livejournal.com profile] dremiel, [livejournal.com profile] opium_and_tea, and [livejournal.com profile] husiemama = $95

More auction fic soon! JACK AND IANTO AT THE SUPER K. (I lie, but still.)

THE BIG FIC: Will have to be something nice, like 5K to make up for the fact that it should be longer than what I did on the lightning round, which was insane, goes to [livejournal.com profile] askance (who should email me and tell me what s/he wants) = $55

THE POST ITS: nine panels of awesome, goes to [livejournal.com profile] husiemama, who should email em to let me know if there's anything she wants = $55.

So that's a good haul. $205 bucks. So, it's only fair:

Thank you, Amanda Ching, for your generous donation to Partners In Health.

Your gift of $205.00 will help support our efforts in Haiti. Our team is bringing medical assistance and supplies to areas that have been hit the hardest. Your contribution will help this life-saving work.

We remain, as ever, deeply grateful for your gift.

Sincerely,

Ophelia Dahl

Executive Director
Partners In Health


Now I'm off to get my ass some sushi. Because I NEED IT.
amand_r: (torchwood/ianto will fuck your shit up)
Title: Leviathan 3/3
Author: [livejournal.com profile] amand_r
Prompt: Jaws
Characters: Jack, Gwen, Ianto, random OCs
Rating: R for violence
Wordcount: 24,700
Spoilers: You don't have to have seen Jaws. But you should. You really should. All canon through season two of Torchwood is assumed.
Disclaimer: I do not have any rights over Jaws and/or Torchwood, nor can or do I make any money off any fictive enterprises that I might undertake with them. All I have are a handful of Skittles that are all warm in my pocket. Sue me and taste the linty rainbow, people.
Author's Notes: Read it before you go swimming. In Wales. Where it's cold.
Real Author's Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] misswinterhill and [livejournal.com profile] joanwilder for the beta goodness. And to the mods, for patience. [livejournal.com profile] alba17, you're beyond deification. Also, I might've played merry cob with maritime authorisation rules, though for the most part, jurisdictions et al are correctly observed. I'm not Tom Clancy. Also, I wrote this to so much techno, I might have given myself an arrhythmia.
Summary: South Wales had everything. Clear skies. Gentle surf. Warm water. People flocked there every summer. No wait, they didn't. That doesn't really matter. It was the perfect feeding ground anyway.

PREVIOUSLY, ON TORCHWOOD: Part One, Part Two

OFF THE COAST OF WALES, SUMMER TIME: )
amand_r: (tw/ianto hello!)
Title: Leviathan 2/3
Author: [livejournal.com profile] amand_r
Prompt: Jaws
Characters: Jack, Gwen, Ianto, random OCs
Rating: R for violence
Wordcount: 24,700
Spoilers: You don't have to have seen Jaws. But you should. You really should. All canon through season two of Torchwood is assumed.
Disclaimer: I do not have any rights over Jaws and/or Torchwood, nor can or do I make any money off any fictive enterprises that I might undertake with them. All I have are a handful of Skittles that are all warm in my pocket. Sue me and taste the linty rainbow, people.
Author's Notes: Read it before you go swimming. In Wales. Where it's cold.
Real Author's Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] misswinterhill and [livejournal.com profile] joanwilder for the beta goodness. And to the mods, for patience. [livejournal.com profile] alba17, you're beyond deification. Also, I might've played merry cob with maritime authorisation rules, though for the most part, jurisdictions et al are correctly observed. I'm not Tom Clancy. Also, I wrote this to so much techno, I might have given myself an arrhythmia.
Summary: South Wales had everything. Clear skies. Gentle surf. Warm water. People flocked there every summer. No wait, they didn't. That doesn't really matter. It was the perfect feeding ground anyway.

PREVIOUSLY, ON TORCHWOOD: Part One

OFF THE COAST OF WALES, SUMMER TIME: )
amand_r: (torchwood/ianto is crushing)
Title: Leviathan 1/3
Author: [livejournal.com profile] amand_r
Prompt: Jaws
Characters: Jack, Gwen, Ianto, random OCs
Rating: R for violence
Wordcount: 24,700
Spoilers: You don't have to have seen Jaws. But you should. You really should. All canon through season two of Torchwood is assumed.
Disclaimer: I do not have any rights over Jaws and/or Torchwood, nor can or do I make any money off any fictive enterprises that I might undertake with them. All I have are a handful of Skittles that are all warm in my pocket. Sue me and taste the linty rainbow, people.
Author's Notes: Read it before you go swimming. In Wales. Where it's cold.
Real Author's Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] misswinterhill and [livejournal.com profile] joanwilder for the beta goodness. And to the mods, for patience. [livejournal.com profile] alba17, you're beyond deification. Also, I might've played merry cob with maritime authorisation rules, though for the most part, jurisdictions et al are correctly observed. I'm not Tom Clancy. Also, I wrote this to so much techno, I might have given myself an arrhythmia.
Summary: South Wales had everything. Clear skies. Gentle surf. Warm water. People flocked there every summer. No wait, they didn't. That doesn't really matter. It was the perfect feeding ground anyway.

OFF THE COAST OF WALES, SUMMER TIME: )
amand_r: (COFFEE)
1. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about this.

2. [livejournal.com profile] bluejeanius has created fanart for the great JB VS NPH BIG GAY BATTLE on afterelton. And it's headlining their Wrap-up post! LOL!

3. HIGHLANDER PEEPS! WHEN WAS RICHIE BORN? HE WAS LIKE 17 IN 1992 OR SUMMAT, RIGHT? 1975?

4. Thanks to whomever nommed Gold dust for a CoT award. THREESOME CATEGORY. AWWWW SHEEEIT.

5. I want to do that "What do you think if these fandom tropes?" Meme, but I'm fairly sure that you all know what I think of that shit, and even if you didn't, you wouldn't care.

6. QUESTION: WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS? ANSWER: FUCKING AWESOME.

7. And while we're on the subject, Santa Jaws is coming to town.

8. Took the snickerdoodle to the National Aviary on New Year's Eve…Day. I bet you didn't know that Pittsburgh is the home of the
NATIONAL AVIARY, DID YOU? SUCK IT. WE HAVE FREE-FLIGHT ROOMS.

Okay.

PENGUINS. )
amand_r: (jaws/imma eat y'all)
1. You always wanted to know the weather, Star Wars style. Unfortunately, most cities I entered are much like Hoth right now. Enter a city it doesn't know. LOL.

2. Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] valancy_joy for the awesome package! No spoilers for those yet to arrive at others', but it was adorable!

3. There was some debate last night on Twitter about who would win: Jaws or a velociraptor, and I felt that 140 characters is not enough space for me to explain the reason Jaws would KICK THE VELOCIRAPTOR'S ARSE: )

4. If you haven't added a drink recipe to the list, please do so! Drunkards here!

5. She's…a spinner. )

6. Links to all the anon fic from the Santa Meme. )

If I'm missing any, let me know.

REEL TW due today. Yeah. Uhm.

ETA: A VELOCIRAPTOR RIDING JAWS. THAT IS EFFING RIGHT.
amand_r: (christmas/mc chris evergreen)
1. If you have not been checking out [livejournal.com profile] curriejean's Torchwood Advent Calendar, you should. Jean has gone through the eps of seasons one and two and found all the background music. Not the scores, but the music: Snow Patrol, Alabama 3, The Pipettes, etc. What's the song playing in the bar in that one scene? Jean's got it. It's about 4 songs a day, and I usually pick the ones I want (I already have some of it, and possibly all the Glenn Miller, *glances away*). You can start with today, because she has links to all the past days. Dude, it's sweet. I call it Jeanie's Torchwood Awesome on my iPod.

2. The [livejournal.com profile] hlh_shortcuts fest ends today. Well, the stories are done being posted. There will be a few days of guessing and catching up, and then reveals on the 23rd! Yay!

3. Jaws excerpt:

"So if it wasn't a boat," Gwen said, tossing her gloves in the bin with her empty paper cup. Ianto swallowed his water to cover the fact that he was still queasy from the odour and blinked at the wordless exchange between Jack and Gwen, an exchange that he read as Gwen demanding answers and Jack being unwilling to provide them (yet. If he even had them.).

"We have to close the beaches," Jack said, then turned and barreled out of the room, leaving them standing in the deserted morgue.

Ianto blinked at Gwen. "He does know this is Wales, right?"


4. I have snow pictures of kidlet, but to post them I have to get my head out of my arse. I also have to finish my crimmas shopping. At Target. Awesome.

5. I have to vacuum.
amand_r: (crimmas/jack's crimmas tardis)
1. If you get a card from me, will you let me know? I want to post the designs, but I want to wait until they've been about for a while. I haven't said it before, but thank you [livejournal.com profile] lefaym and [livejournal.com profile] used_songs for the cards!

2. JAWS, AN EXCERPT: )


3. Hey! This week, I wanna make a post for all of us imbibers who like a good holiday cocktail. So if you have a good one, yank out the recipe so we can share later this week, okay?

4. SATURDAY, THERE WAS A BIRFDAY! And here's how it went down. )

All right then! Carry on!
amand_r: (crimmas/ianto's crushing santajack)
OMG THERE WAS CAEK! Sometime this week, I'm doing a photo dump, where I will have Barrowsparkle kid photos and pics of her new boyfriend, Frosty the Inflatable Snowman, but for now, you all must deal with—

WE TRACED THE IP. THE UPDATE IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE. )

SOMEONE MAKE ME A TORCHWOOD CRIMMAS ICON. I SWEAR I SUCK SO HARD AT IT. ETA: THANK YOU SO MUCH [livejournal.com profile] angstslashhope!

Also, [livejournal.com profile] kel_reiley said it was okay to post, because it was already tomorrow (And it is, especially in Australia.).

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