amand_r: (the asian persuasion)
Hello all, it's been a while, so I shall UPDATE BY NUMBERS.

1. Cookies have been awesome. I am taking a break. I have many new things that I want to try, but they aren't going to ship well in this heat. That said, if you ever want some cookies, feel free to drop me a line. I am now making shit on demand. Except the chocolate caramel shortbread. They are a pain in the ass.

2. Kidlet is done with preschool! Well, for this year at least. I have embarrassing video, but I am too lazy to upload it.

3. My computer died recently! It was horrible. I was trying to log on, and it kept telling me my user profile couldn't load properly. After shedding bitter tears, I managed to save all my files from safe mode onto an external drive, and then I had to reinstall the OS from factory settings. Strange how everything runs now. On the other hand, there's something cleansing about getting a fresh start.

4. I have been reading a great deal. You can find my reading on Goodreads. Right now I'm reading about the monster of Florence.

5. I MADE PASTA FROM SCRATCH. IT WAS AWESOME.

6. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS AWESOME? HOT DOGS.

7. Here is the story of how I am bitter:

One day I started watching Wire in the Blood. I watched 2 eps and then forgot. Then a month later I was all, “I should check out Wire in the Blood”, and lo, I already had. I resumed my watching. BY THE WAY the special with Tony in Texas was the best thing ever. I lolled so hard. Anyway, I got to the end of season 6 when [spoiler] and it ends with [spoiler] and Then I click ed the “Next” button on the Netflix streaming screen.

Nothing happened. I looked and saw they only had up to season six. Never mind, I will download the torrent somewhere.

That's right, in my head I had convinced myself that there are 8 seasons.

Oh wait, no, that's Waking the Dead.

It became increasingly difficult to locate the season seven torrent No one had it. I was going to do a shot out to my flist. Then I decided to see when it was released. So I checked wikipedia.

Boy, am I bitter. WHAT A FUCKING WAY TO END. NOT TWIN PEAKS EPIC, BUT JESUS.

8. I read the new Sookie Stackhouse. Yeah.

9. I had so many things to say! I have no idea where they went.

10. Lastly, I have a novella/thing coming out in October, and the publisher, Candlemark and Gleam was nice enough to send me promo postcard things to distribute. I was thinking of handwriting some short short stories and offering to send them to people for postage. Would anyone be interested? Want one? I guess if you sent me five bucks, I could send you the card and a half a dozen cookies. Or something.

Postage has gone up package wise, by the way. That's how they get ya.

Off to read more about excising vaginas.
amand_r: (waaaaaaaa)
The first time I heard of gluten allergies and Celiac Sprue was in 1999, when my co-oping teacher had been diagnosed with it. I remember her freaking out because as an Italian, that discounted about 75 percent of the things she liked to eat (including beer!) Back then, she had corn flour and rice flour to choose from, and man did it suck. I made her some peanut butterscotch rice krispy treats, and she was over the moon.

But man, have options improved since then. I'm sure it's still not easy remaining and eating gluten free, but the baking is sure as hell better. I remember she bringing in all her attempts to make bread with various flours—they sucked. And xanthan gum was unheard of in these parts, at least.

Anyway, I like to try my hand at allergen baking, since I cook for a dude with a poultry/egg allergy, and he's a challenge sometimes (MORE THE POULTRY. STEVE, EAT MY DUCK, DAMMIT!), and gluten free is a challenge I can never resist. I've only ever baked for one person with a gluten allergy, and the whole science of mixing flours for texture caught me. How awesome is that?

It's been a gluten free week!! )

Buy these cookies before I eat them all, dammit.
amand_r: (torchwood/ianto will fuck your shit up)
Title: Buy My Fucking Cookies
Fandom: Mander fandom
Characters: Mander, Vstroyer, You, eBay, THE DAMN ASSHOLE WOT OUTBID ME, cookies, the computer
Rating: W for WOE and C for COOKIE (it's good enough for me)
Wordcount: 1000
Author's Notes: I am totes not joking. Warning for butter.
Summary: I HAVE A STORY OF DEFEAT AND TRIUMPH TO TELL.

She was a baker desperately trying to lose weight. And desperately trying to buy DVDs. )
amand_r: (spartans dine)
It's no secret that I'm a total unfaithful music whore. I never buy albums anymore. I find things on youtube and pandora and then I buy them. Sometiems, like with K'naan, I do become a fan of all their stuff. But until I hear more of their shit, I stay to the few songs I have.

Here's what's on replay on my iPod. )
amand_r: (COFFEE)
I woke up this morning to this:



GAH. THIS CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING—IT'S TIME FOR NORWEGIAN COFFEE.

A PHOTO ESSAY OF MINISCULE PROPORTIONS. )
amand_r: (rps/it's barrowman country!)
This past weekend I took my kid to DC to see her family and also the pandas, who are like family. Like the shark the panda had millions of razor sharp teeth, which they use like a hacksaw to cut through bone, candy and fences. The Chinese believe that if you find a discarded panda tooth, you have the power to summons Godzilla!

Ahem.

So yeah, here was our trip, pictoral style:

VIVI AND MANDER GO TO DC (NOT DRAGON*CON) )

STAY TUNED FOR THE HALLOWEEN COOKIE DISASTER.
amand_r: (COFFEE)
1. KEL AND VALANCY LINKED TO THIS. IT IS AWESOME

2. ALSO, DEAD LIKE ME, I LOVE YOU. KIFFANY IS SPECTACULARE.

Rube: What do you mean no blueberry pancakes?
Kiffany: They are seasonal.
Rube: Well, explain something to me. Are the blueberries fresh? (Kiffany shakes her head NO.) They are dehydrated? (Kiffany nods YES.) Well how can something hatched months ago be seasonal?
Kiffany: I don't make the rules, I just play by them. Something else you want?
Rube: My heart's set on blueberry pancakes.
George: Are you pregnant?
Rube: I certainly hope so.

I THINK KIFFANY IS A REAPER.

3. AAAAAAAND BEHIND THE CUT, SOME COCKTAILS FROM THE 1940'S. )

4. BLEAUGH.

5. Lame pics of my kid. )

So. There it is.
amand_r: (tw/ianto makes my ass look great)
1. GAH.

ME: Blah blah blah.
THERAPIST: Blah blah BLAH blah. ::eyebrows::
ME: Blah Blah. ::wavey hands::
THERAPIST: AH HAH. THERE IT IS!
ME: Whut?
THERAPIST: There's your problem! Your issue!
ME: ::smacks head:: GODDAMMIT.
THERAPIST: Ha ha ha! Found it! NOW YOUR REAL THERAPY CAN BEGIN.
ME: SHITBEARS!
THERAPIST: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE IT.
ME: SHUT UP, RAFIKI.
THERAPIST: Same time next week?
ME: Yes please.


2. MBABB IS AT 137,350. That sounds impressive until you realise that on 6/27 I had 125,242, so this month I have only done 12,108 on it. SHITBEARS.

3. I'm going to start taking my prozac at night and see if that doesn't cure my exhaustion during the day.

4. Because I can't leave well enough alone, the current ep I'm working on:

They both jumped into the SUV and Maggie started the car, turning the heater on full blast. It hadn't been off long enough to have completely cooled down and the warmth spread across Lois's hose-covered legs. Bliss.

"Lo," Maggie said, tucking the tickets into the sun visor, "please tell me you packed denims or some other heavy work trousers."

Lois shrugged. "I have slacks and a pair of coveralls."

Maggie sighed. "Okay, we have a little bit of time, and the Quay is open." She pointed to the hulking shopping arena that boasted hundreds of outlet stores. "Lois Habiba, you need to dress for a mess."

"Dress for a mess," Lois deadpanned as she pulled her shit coffee from the cup-holder and took a sip. Absence did not make the tongue grow fonder. Maggie started the SUV and pulled out of the Wightlink lot.

"I bet they have a Starbucks," Maggie sang.

Lois gestured at the windshield with the cup. "Sally forth, my good woman."


That is all.

ETA: IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.
amand_r: (VSTROYER OF WORLDS)
WORK:
--This week three stories will go out.
--Three more will be done, but I might have to set one of them aside.
--I have to start a set of three. I seem to work best in threes.
--Am getting ready to work on the novel again. The werewolf one. Not the porn. I think I might self publish it. For shits and giggles. No one wants this books, I guarantee.

FANNISH:
--Working on episode 6/14. Total word count: 125,242. It's brilliant, I think. But by the time I'm ready to show it, you will all have forgot me. (insert woe is me).
--Have been doing WIAD, but I feel uninspired and hackneyed. Might just stop now.
--Have a rec list I am compiling, but feel blah about it.

HEALTH:
--Cannot seem to lose weight. Working on it.
--Upped the melatonin back to 3 mg after 1.5 woke me at 4 am repeatedly.
--I hate iron pills. I hate Benefiber. I hate Colace.

READING:
--Finished all of LKH's Anita Blake. Skin Trade wasn't as bad as I remember it being. PLOT. Gratuitous cumshot at the end, though. It was so crass I almost have to give LKH props for putting a pearl necklace in a mainstream book.
--Working on the new Star Wars.
--Stalled on "The Stranger".
--Stalled on Sloane Crosley's "I was Told There Would Be Cake"

KIDLET:
--Potty trained. Did I mention that?
--Also:



THIS ENTRY BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE 'IT'S TOO HOT TO BE OUTSIDE BAH' COMMITTEE.
amand_r: (COFFEE)
Episode 3.5 of The Tudors is a spectacular piece of television, because grieving Henry allows none to comfort him after the death of Jane except for (Will Somers) the Court Fool, played by David Bradley (Filch!). True to form, Henry is bonkers and the Fool tells him things he needs to hear:

Henry: Hey.
Fool: Majesty (looks at Henry's mad drawings)
Henry: well, what do you think?
Fool: I don't think. Are you mad? Thinking is dangerous. But I'll wink. (winks)
Henry: Idiot.
Fool: (laughing) What? What about you? Think about it, You find the perfect wife, she's sweet, pliable, she even has good tits. On top of that she gives you the son you've always wanted. And you let her die. Jesus, Christ of mercy, and you think I'm the idiot? And she's not the only one. Poor, abandoned Catherine—
Henry: Careful.
Fool: And that other one, whose name escapes me, as her head escaped her. All lost, all lost.
Henry: go to hell!
Fool: What, go there? I thought I'd already arrived. For surely gracious lord this, is hell.

Seriously, the ep ends with Henry's reform declarations, which are pretty much Catholicism, and the fool sitting on the throne in the empty throne room, wearing the crown and laughing drunkenly. That's good tv.

Small photodump: I got a haircut and my kid is the shit. )
amand_r: (meat/you had me at bacon)
1. I used to get really mad at the administration when I taught, and I used to tell myself that when I was out of teaching I'd write a bald-faced book about what's really going on, and people would read it and say, "Yeah, that’s fucked up." I never did that (though I should. It'd be like the professional career version of blowing up the Bridge Over the River Kwai), but the other day I just realised that I feel the same way about society in general, and I SHOULD WRITE AN ANGRY TELL-ALL BOOK ABOUT IT, and then I realised that since I'd be writing about all of us on the planet, there'd be no one to read it. Like, Maybe an alien or something. LAWL. THAT'LL SHOW YOU ALL. THE SLITHEEN ARE ON TO YOUR JACKASSERY.

2. OMG I MUST SEE THIS FILM.

3. photodump and shit )

4. I made pickled red onions. Woah mama.


EDIT: I want to add that my kid just ate three small bowlfuls of these with her lunch. W. T. F. :D

RECIPE: Slice RED ONIONS. I used like one large one. Place in bowl. In a small saucepan bring to boil:

1 c. white wine vinegar
1.c. sugar
3 tsp. Kosher salt
3 tsp black peppercorns
1 cinnamon stick

Stir until well dissolved and then pour over onions. Refridgerate. Chill overnight. THEN CONSUME.

If you are like me, then you have no white wine vinegar and no black peppercorns because you threw them away like a moron. This is okay. Go Asian and use rice vinegar and szechuan peppercorns.

WHO WAS IT THAT WE TALKED ABOUT "I LOVE CORM"? PERSON—IN THE ABOVE THING, I MISTYPED IT AS "CORM" EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I LOVE CORM.

Why was there no corm in this?

I made a corm puree for under my chicken livers with bacon and red onions in a basalmic-wine reduction. NOM NOM NOM.

PHILISTINES.

OMG SO MANY BIBLE JOKES, SO LITTLE TIME.

5. A little excerpt from the latest body swap. )
amand_r: (da bing)
FIRST:

1. It is the middle of the night, and you wake from a dead sleep because you have to pee. You shuffle to the bathroom and don't even bother turning on the light because you know the way. While there you realise that you have to use feminine protection. You also notice that you run out of loo roll. You unwrap the loo roll and pull the old roll from the spool, and then sit there, half awake, holding the spool in one hand and the new roll in the other.

The spool is, I repeat, the spool is NOT the feminine protection that you have yet to retrieve. No, I stopped myself before it got that far, but I did wonder why it was so big around whilst I held it.

There's a moral (sp—is that spelled right? Moral? Morel? No that's a mushroom. Moral reminds me of sorrel, which always make me think of High Chapparal. Chapparal? Chaparale? Fuck. I'll quit before I start questioning the spelling of "the" and "chair") here, but I don't know who it is.

2. Watching season one of the Tudors again. Why does everyone give each other brooches? From now on, everyone's getting brooches from me.

Side note: OH HAI THAR, EXTREME HOTTNESS THAT IS JOHN RHYS-MYERS' ABS. HOLY FUCK.

3. In cleaning my house, I am stunned by the sheer amount of junk I have, in the form of bits and baubles and things that I cannot simply throw in a box and label. I have baskets and small boxes of little things that I simply don't know what to do with—things I no longer want and haven't needed in the past three years, not enough to unpack them from the basement boxes in which a great deal of them reside. I find myself pitching large quantities of crap. I want to be as light as possible.

Likewise, wow, half-price books, you are awesome.

Additionally, in going through my shelves and boxes of books in the basement, I am slowly filling a box of books marked, simply, "unread". So this year, I shall endeavor to empty that box. It's filled with contemporary novels, non fiction, and a bunch of classic lit I never got to. Like some Dickens and Orczy and even one or two poets whose volumes I purchased and never finished. I would promise not to buy any more books until I finish these, but that is foolhardy and something to which I can never hold myself. So I shan't lie that way. But it's a goal—read more. Read well. Read smartly.

That said, I read the latest Hamilton Merry Gentry book, Divine Misdemeanours. Hey, it's in my ereader. OMG SPOILERS )

4. OH HAI. RPF/RPS CARNIVALE THIS WEEKEND. RIGHT THE FUCK IN THIS LJ. [livejournal.com profile] cruentum IS SO EXCITED HE'S ABOUT TO VIBRATE THROUGH THE INTERNETS. THEN HE WILL BE THE GHOST IN THE SHELL, AND HE'LL HAUNT YOUR ISP AND WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING YOUR THESIS, HE'LL REPLACE ALL THE IMAGES AND PIE CHARTS IN THE DOCUMENT WITH PICTURES OF JB'S ASS. YOU MIGHT BE AMUSED. YOUR THESIS ADVISOR AT THE ENTOMOLOGY DEPARTMENT PROBABLY WON'T BE. I think I already addressed this above, but whatevs.

Don't let that happen to you. Write for the Torchwood/Doctor Who RPF Carnivale.

5. So we have a little bit of snow in Pittsburgh this past month. So some mutherfuckers decide it's a great time to do some URBAN SKIING. My favorite is probably the Joe Montana bridge at about 4:00 to the end, and if you watch the credits you not only see some awesome FAIL, but you hear them make fun of Yinzertalk, which is always fun. (h/t [livejournal.com profile] emquilxy)

6. I'm in season two of the Sopranos again. How did I miss this gem? TONY: (frustrated and with finality) Cunnilingus and psychiatry have brought us to this.

Yes. Tony. Yes.

7. My TW season 4 file is corrupted or something, and it was my back up copy. I checked the original and it has no changes since last month. It's like Jesus doesn't want me to write TW anymore. Okay, Jesus.
amand_r: (waaaaaaaa)
THE YEAR OF THE TIGER WAS USHERED IN WITH MUCH FOOD: I didn't have to cook! )
amand_r: (Default)
I take back all the mocking I did. I have never seen it like this. If you live in a place that get a lot of snow, feel free to mock me, but I just wasn't prepared for:

SNOWPOCALYPSE 2010

1. Lost power (re: heat) at 2 am. Ate the kid for warmth.

2. I kid, we did that huddle for warmth thing.

3. Discovered all coffee was unground. Used mortar and pestle.

4. No method of heating water. Did you know that when water is hot enough to burn you in the shower, it is still not hot enough for coffee?

5. Drank coffee anyway.

6. Went outside. Pics included! )

7. Went inside, peeled off clothes (PLUS: I have lost so much weight that I was able to wear my fleece pyjamapants under my old size 14 jeans. MINUS: COLD)

8. After lunch. POWER RETURNS! HUZZAH! COFFEE FIRST, CHARGE CELL, RUN DISHWASHER.
amand_r: (drwho/daleks!)
1. Happy Birthday, Lord Byron. I still hate your fucking poetry but want to be your drinking buddy.

2. My kid has discovered the miracle that is Disney Princess SpaghettiOs with meatballs whereas mommy feels like her childhood has been whupped upside the head with a cricket bat.

3. "At the age of 22 Conan applied for a job at Mrs. Fields, but sadly never received a call back," John Lauck, President of Mrs. Fields, tells the Daily News. "We want to officially call you back, and make amends for what we now know was a huge oversight in talent recruitment." OH I LOVE YOU.

BORDERS! I APPLIED FOR A JOB IN 2006! AND 2003! CALL ME! (omg what is wrong with me that you don't want me? Is my hair too natural looking? I CAN CHANGE! MY LIFE FOR YOU! MY LI—WELL NO, BUT—WELL, YEAH, IF YOU ESSENTIALLY CONSIDER THAT I AM OFFERING HOURS OF MY LIFE TO WORK IN YOUR STORE IN EXCHANGE FOR MONEY, I LITERALLY AM TRADING MY LIFE FOR MONEY. HIRE ME! I CAN INDEX AND COLOUR CODE, USE A STEP STOOL AND LOOK PRETENTIOUS AND BE ABSENT WHEN CUSTOMERS NEED HELP! I COULD DO THAT FOR YOU.)

4. I started using a new conditioner, and I gotta tell you people, it smells fucking fantastic. I don't know that it's any better or worse than what I was using before, conditioner wise, but it SMELLS GREAT. I HAVE BEEN HUFFING MY HAIR ALL DAY.

5. The following conversation also occurred.

Me: Wanna listen to Dream?
Her: No. Sleep!
Me: You want to go to sleep?
Her: Yeaaaaaah.
Me: You never want to go to sleep. What, are you on crack?
Her: Oh yeah, okay crack.
Me: I wasn't offering.

Then she spent fifteen minutes trying to cram the stuffed giraffe into her ski pants. OH I HAVEN'T SHOWED YOU THE GIRAFFE AND HIS CLOTHING ADVENTURES. I have been remiss. )

6. [livejournal.com profile] opium_and_tea I owe you, and it's partially done! I have showed it to peoples! So, soon, but I need to pause-button today to work some shit out in RL. Muther fuckers.

7. mini-meme: Five Favorite Female Characters, because I ain't putting pics up for you: a) Princess Fucking Leia, b) Vanyel's Aunt Savil in the Last Herald Mage books, c) Gwen Cooper, d) Lt. Anita Van Buren on the Original Law and Order, e) Buffy Summers, BONUS: f) Amy Gardner, from the West Wing (possibly also Nancy Botwin, Mary Louise Marker's character from Weeds)
amand_r: (crimmas/jack wearing santa)
There was some hesitancy and debate about whether or not non participants were allowed to review the fic over there. OMG PLEASE DO SO. We won't be replying until after we've de-anoned, so don't get upset if we seem rude.

Anyway, here's a list of all the fic so far. I put the characters in the fics, and left out all the pairings. Deal.

ANON wrote The War at Home for [livejournal.com profile] amand_r (Jack. Gwen, Ianto, Rhys)
ANON wrote All The Best Stories Start With A Death for [livejournal.com profile] cruentum (Ianto, Jack)
ANON wrote Doctor's Orders for [livejournal.com profile] used_songs (Owen, Ianto, Tosh, Jack)
ANON wrote The Better Things for [livejournal.com profile] nancybrown (Ianto, Lois Habiba)
ANON wrote In This Time for [livejournal.com profile] electro_club (Andy, Ianto)
ANON wrote Great Balls Afire for [livejournal.com profile] blue_fjords (Jack, Rhys, Gwen, Ianto, Andy)
ANON wrote Nine Tenths of the Law for [livejournal.com profile] phaetonschariot (Jack, Ianto)
ANON wrote Cast no shadow for [livejournal.com profile] kel_reiley (Rhiannon, Jack)
ANON wrote We All Have to Start Somewhere for [livejournal.com profile] solsticezero (Gwen, Ianto)
ANON wrote hotaru no hikari (the light of fireflies) for [livejournal.com profile] xtricks (Tosh, Jack, early team)
ANON wrote Hearts (hand-made): 1.50 quid a piece for [livejournal.com profile] lionessvalenti (Ianto, Lisa, Jack, team)
ANON wrote Mind Your Language for [livejournal.com profile] lawsontl (Jack, Ianto, Gwen)

MWAH. GO READ AND REVIEW. NOT ONE OF THESE FICS IS BAD.
amand_r: (amanda is nuts)
TODAY'S ENTRY WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SPACCANAPOLI! YAY!



ALSO: FAIL? OR WIN?



I'M THINKING ARBYS.

CAN'T TALK: WRITING. BBL TTFN TTYL OMFG BBQ WTF LOL BITE ME.

HERE, K'NAAN'S 'WAVING FLAG' IS THE OFFICIAL ANTHEM OF THE 2010 WORLD CUP:

amand_r: (Default)
I haven't updated my wish list in ages. I rarely ask for things. I mean, what's the point? Things don't make you happy (this is pointed at you Nicholas H. Cruentum. Those boxers would not have made you happy. After you washed them.), and you know. Blah blah. But I figured I'd sit down and think about it, because once I asked for a hookah and I got one.

Nothing I say here is really srs. )
amand_r: (PHALLOCENTRIC GHEY!)
1. I wish I could answer this ad. He uses my old chestnut, "Hold on. I saw this in a cartoon once, but I'm pretty sure I can do it." Also, should I stumble upon a little bit of extra cash, I think I'll start placing performance art ads in the local newspaper. Hey, it's either that or rubber pants.

2. Book Depository—you tell me you accept PayPal and then when I go to check out, you tell me that you do not accept PayPal. That's like the last time I picked up a hooker who told me fifty bucks, and I assumed she meant Jamaican, but halfway through she told me American. Hrm. I would have haggled more.

3. Oh poly, you refuse to come. Much like the Jamaican hooker.

4. I am being INCREDIBLY offensive today. I love hookers, really! I love Jamaicans! I love Julis Roberts when she says, "YOU WORK ON COMMISSION RITE? BIG MISTAKE, HUGE! BIG MISTAKE!"

5. If I were to say that I love any celebrity (as I know some of you love JB or GDL or EM or someone else), I would say that my celebrity love is Carrie Fisher. It's for many reasons, but in the end, it is because she writes like this:

I've also been asked what the hell I was doing in bed with a Republican. And in order to demonstrate my loyalty to the Democratic party, I tell people that I may have slept with a Republican, but I've actually had sex with a Democratic senator.

Of course I'm then asked which senator, to which I reply, "Chris Dodd."

And the only reason I feel at liberty to blab about this indiscretion is that Senator Dodd spoke of our "courtship" that we engaged in those many thousands of years ago during his bid for the presidency some years back when Paul Simon (now a resident of Connecticut) helped him by supporting his campaign.

When asked to elaborate on our courtship, Senator Dodd coyly replied, "It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…"

I believe that it was largely this comment that was responsible for his failure to win the nomination.

(Wishful Drinking)


Carrie, ILU. Never fucking change.

Profile

amand_r: (Default)
amand_r

December 2011

S M T W T F S
    123
45 67 8 910
111213 14 15 1617
18 19 2021222324
25262728293031

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 28th, 2017 12:32 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios