amand_r: (torchwood/tack+tardisOTP)
Title: 4.08: WHOdunit
Characters: Gwen Cooper, Lois Habiba, Dee Johnson, Maggie Hopley, Daniel Schmidt, Jack Harkness, OMC, OFC.
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount:
Additional Links: Deleted Scenes and Ephemera, Soundtracks, Master Post
Summary: There's a blue box on the Plass. And in the city centre. And in Roath. And in Penarth. The team investigates a murder that might be out of this world.

amand_r: (doctor who/HARRIET JONES)
1. Guess what you can't wipe up with a Clorox wet nap? Baking Soda. Nope, if spills on the floor and you go to wipe it up, but you just end up pushing it around on the lino. Then when you give up and try to scoop as much of it as you can see, you realize you have just thinned it to an invisible coating of baking soda. And then for days when you step in that area in your socks, you get a squidgy feeling as you slide around in it. Then you realize that you put this in your body: A POWDER THAT CANNOT BE DISSOLVED AND PICKED UP BY THE LIQUID IN A CHLOROX WIPE. (Spider has since informed me that I can clean it with vinegar. Thanks, babe.)

2. Squeezing lemons when your hands are chapped to the point of cracking is not the smartest idea in the universe, lightbulb. However, if you put your fingers in baggies and put a rubber band at the base of each finger, you get to race the clock to see if the pain from cracked skin or the pain from listing feeling in the fingers will make you stop first.

The answer is NEITHER BECAUSE I AM THAT BADASS.

3. Me: Viv, are you done pooping?
Her: No. I got to chillax.
Me: What?
Her: Just chillax, mama.

4. I drove behind a Bronco II that had this on a paper taped to the back windshield: I WILLNOT SPEED JUST TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. I SLOW DOWN FOR TAILGATERS.

5. I have many thoughts on Rhianna's S&M. Some of them are not good. Most of them are nonchalant, which as we all know, is the opposite of chalant. Not to be confused with chalet, or Swiss Chalet, which makes me think of Swiss steak, which makes me want steak. Or those onions that come on top of steak sometimes. When you make a bowl of sautéed onions and mushrooms to put on steak and meats, that's called the kitty. I eat the kitty on fried sweetbreads. Now I want to watch Josie and the Pussycats. Dujour means swiss steak!

6. I DID A THING. )
amand_r: (tw/gwen compassionata)
Title: 4.06: The Salt Pillar
Characters: Gwen Cooper, Lois Habiba, Dee Johnson, Maggie Hopley, Gretchen Jones,
Jack Harkness, Rhys Williams, OMCs
Rating: R
Wordcount: 21,960
Additional Links: Deleted Scenes and Ephemera, Soundtracks, Master Post
Summary: The team splits up to investigate two separate cases of things reappearing where they shouldn't, one on the Isle of Wight, and the other at the old Hub.

amand_r: (torchwood/lois)
Both of these have been posted before, but now they are edited further and places in the archive in the proper sequence. Thx.

Title: 4.00: Daily gRind
Characters: Lois, Gwen, Dee, Gretchen, Andy, various dudes and dudettes
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 15,627
Author's Notes: For Blue, who is beta reading this monster series. Warning: crackalicious.
Summary: Lois Habiba loves her job. Sometimes she has to say that out loud.

Title: 4.00: Frustrate their knavish tricks
Characters: Gwen, Dee, Lois, Maggie
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,430
Summary: "I want a muffin," Maggie said into the awkwardness. "I've been good and I foiled an alien invasion this evening."
amand_r: (torchwood/lois)
Title: Daily gRind (1/3)
Recipient: [livejournal.com profile] blue_fjords
Author: [livejournal.com profile] amand_r
Rating: PG_13
Characters/Pairings: Lois, Gwen, Dee, Gretchen, Andy, various dudes and dudettes
Summary: Lois Habiba loves her job. Sometimes she has to say that out loud.

Beta: [livejournal.com profile] paragraphs, who more than earned her keep putting up with my typos and whatnot, and [livejournal.com profile] heddychaa, who did a little read through some of it.
Author Notes: Prequel for Torchwood 4.0, which Blue is betaing. I love you, Blue! You don't need to have read that to read this. Also, this is total effing crack, sort of. I stole so much from so many places. Notes at the very end.

Daily gRind )

Part Two
amand_r: (tw/plotty jack)
Title: 4.04: …in Shining
Characters: Gwen Cooper, Lois Habiba, Dee Johnson, Maggie Hopley, Gretchen Jones, Jack Harkness, UNIT, OACs
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 23,480
Additional Links:
Summary: A routine search unearths a blast from the past that Jack and Gwen were sure was gone, and an accident has horrifying consequences for some of Cardiff's inhabitants.


amand_r: (tw/gwen compassionata)
Title: 4.03: Sure Bet
Characters: Gwen Cooper, Lois Habiba, Dee Johnson, Maggie Hopley, Gretchen Jones,
Jack Harkness, OAC (original alien characters)
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 23,485
Additional Links: Extended Scene and Ephemera, Soundtracks, Master Post
Summary: A dead body and a poker chip lead the team undercover in a high stakes investigation, and nothing is guaranteed, not even loyalty.

amand_r: (Default)
Title: 4.02: Safe As Houses
Characters: Gwen Cooper, Lois Habiba, Dee Johnson, Maggie Hopley, Gretchen Jones,
Jack Harkness, OMC
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 19,033
Additional Links: Deleted Scene, Soundtracks, Master Post
Summary: Houses collapse in Splott, and Jack holds the answer to the mystery. Just one problem: he doesn't work for Torchwood anymore.

amand_r: (tw/ianto hello!)
So, the Big Bang. Yeah. Here we are.

You should probably read me. )

This is the master post, and so is the nexus for all soundtracks, credits, references and deleted scenes for every episode. So:

[General Character OST] [Episodes 1-4 OST] [Episodes 5-6 OST]

4.00: Daily gRind (aired 11.10.10)
4.00: Frustrate their knavish tricks (aired 11.10.10)
4.01: The Inquisition (aired: 8.15.10 and 09.15.10) [Art]
4:02: Safe as Houses (aired: 09.29.10 ) [extended scene]
4.03: Sure Bet (aired: 10.13.10) [extended scene] [undercover cigarette girl art] [fandoodle by heddychaa]
4.04: …in shining (aired: 10.27.10)
4.05: The Golden Hour (aired: 11.24.10 ) [extended scene] [deleted scene]
4.06: The Salt Pillar (aired: 12.16.10)
4.07: 15 Minutes (aired: 03.04.11 soon!)
4.08: WHOdunit (airing:)
4.09: Ataraxia (airing: )
4.10: The Bitter Glass (airing: )
4.11: Lather, Rinse, Et Cetera (airing: )
4.12: Volume Control (airing: )
4.13: TBA (airing:)
4.14: TBA (airing: )
4.DRUNK: AMAND-R GETS WASTED (decanting )

Deleted Scenes and Ephemera
Soundtracks

Thanks.
amand_r: (WATCH FOR CAMELS)
I ONCE GOT BUSY IN A BURGER KING BATHROOM.



It's true. I listen to this every Wednesday.

BEST. SONG. EVER.

And for you more artsy people, have a montage of sort of naked people to a French love song.

amand_r: (tw/gwen compassionata)
Title: Downpour
Characters: Gwen, Owen, possibly Gwen/Owen
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 666 (or 337, depending on how you look at it).
Author's Notes: I'm just futzing around. Crue looked at it, but he didn't beta, so don't throttle him.
Summary: The linear is circular is linear is circular is a branch or a fire in a thing in a when on a wall.

Downpour )
amand_r: (torchwood/scoobies)

Title: Any Other Day: Monday (Again!) (aka 8/8)
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Team, Rhys (Jack/Gwen, Gwen/Rhys, Jack/Ianto)
Ratings: NC-17 (in some parts)
Timeline: Post-Meat, Pre-Reset (assumes flashback knowledge from Fragments)
Summary: Hey, this one time? At Torchwood? Gwen and Jack switched bodies and everything went pear-shaped.

Author's Notes: I love this fic, because I love the team, I say, THE TEAM. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox for the beta! This was started back in May, when I wasn't nearly the TW freak that I am, and so I think it's more cracky than I had intended. It's funny. It's potboiler fic.

SPECIAL THANKS to [livejournal.com profile] laurab1 for the bitching fanart! Check that shit out!

This fic WAS a WIP, divided by days: Monday-Tuesday. It has 8 parts, some longer than others, depending on what happens any given day. There you go.

PREVIOUSLY, on TORCHWOOD: Monday, Tuesday (A), Wednesday (A), Thursday (A), Friday (A), Saturday, Sunday

The day had been long, not unlike the night before Christmas or one's birthday. )
amand_r: (torchwood/teen girl squad)

Title: Any Other Day: Friday (aka 5a/8)
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Team, Rhys (Jack/Gwen, Gwen/Rhys, Jack/Ianto)
Ratings: NC-17 (in some parts)
Timeline: Post-Meat, Pre-Reset (assumes flashback knowledge from Fragments)
Summary: Hey, this one time? At Torchwood? Gwen and Jack switched bodies and everything went pear-shaped.

Author's Notes: I love this fic, because I love the team, I say, THE TEAM. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox for the beta! This was started back in May, when I wasn't nearly the TW freak that I am, and so I think it's more cracky than I had intended. It's funny. It's potboiler fic.

SPECIAL THANKS to [livejournal.com profile] laurab1 for the bitching fanart! Check that shit out!

This fic is a WIP, divided by days: Monday-Tuesday. It should have 8 parts, some longer than others, depending on what happens any given day. There you go.

PREVIOUSLY, on TORCHWOOD: Monday, Tuesday (A), Wednesday (A), Thursday (A)

Jack flipped the buff folder shut and tossed it on an ever-growing pile of identical folders. He was making a right mess of Ianto's clever organising system, a system that Ianto had tried to explain once, but Jack hadn't listened.  )

On to Friday (B)
amand_r: (torchwood/ianto will fuck your shit up)
Title: Acumen
Characters: Hee.
Rating: NC-17 (telepathy, the plass)
Wordcount: 1,280
Author's Notes: for the porn battle over in [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox's lj, also co-hosted by [livejournal.com profile] cruentum

Acumen )

Title: Dear Ianto
Characters: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17 (toys)
Wordcount: 960
Author's Notes: for the porn battle over in [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox's lj, also co-hosted by [livejournal.com profile] cruentum

Dear Ianto, )
amand_r: (PHALLOCENTRIC GHEY!)
Title: Boxed-In
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 2,110
Author's Notes: This is for [livejournal.com profile] dremiel, who bought my ass at auction in the lightning round. Her prompt was Altered Ianto (alcohol, drugs, alien tech, alien saliva, whatevs) and Jack talk, possibly at cross purposes. She didn't say anything about altered Jack…Thank you [livejournal.com profile] misswinterhill and [livejournal.com profile] cruentum for teh betaz.
Summary: "We could both be trapped in the box," Jack offered, and then looked around at the sealed doors of the cargo container while Ianto leaned back against one metal wall and laughed. "Oh."

Boxed-In )
amand_r: (torchwood/ianto will fuck your shit up)
Title: Leviathan 3/3
Author: [livejournal.com profile] amand_r
Prompt: Jaws
Characters: Jack, Gwen, Ianto, random OCs
Rating: R for violence
Wordcount: 24,700
Spoilers: You don't have to have seen Jaws. But you should. You really should. All canon through season two of Torchwood is assumed.
Disclaimer: I do not have any rights over Jaws and/or Torchwood, nor can or do I make any money off any fictive enterprises that I might undertake with them. All I have are a handful of Skittles that are all warm in my pocket. Sue me and taste the linty rainbow, people.
Author's Notes: Read it before you go swimming. In Wales. Where it's cold.
Real Author's Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] misswinterhill and [livejournal.com profile] joanwilder for the beta goodness. And to the mods, for patience. [livejournal.com profile] alba17, you're beyond deification. Also, I might've played merry cob with maritime authorisation rules, though for the most part, jurisdictions et al are correctly observed. I'm not Tom Clancy. Also, I wrote this to so much techno, I might have given myself an arrhythmia.
Summary: South Wales had everything. Clear skies. Gentle surf. Warm water. People flocked there every summer. No wait, they didn't. That doesn't really matter. It was the perfect feeding ground anyway.

PREVIOUSLY, ON TORCHWOOD: Part One, Part Two

OFF THE COAST OF WALES, SUMMER TIME: )
amand_r: (tw/ianto hello!)
Title: Leviathan 2/3
Author: [livejournal.com profile] amand_r
Prompt: Jaws
Characters: Jack, Gwen, Ianto, random OCs
Rating: R for violence
Wordcount: 24,700
Spoilers: You don't have to have seen Jaws. But you should. You really should. All canon through season two of Torchwood is assumed.
Disclaimer: I do not have any rights over Jaws and/or Torchwood, nor can or do I make any money off any fictive enterprises that I might undertake with them. All I have are a handful of Skittles that are all warm in my pocket. Sue me and taste the linty rainbow, people.
Author's Notes: Read it before you go swimming. In Wales. Where it's cold.
Real Author's Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] misswinterhill and [livejournal.com profile] joanwilder for the beta goodness. And to the mods, for patience. [livejournal.com profile] alba17, you're beyond deification. Also, I might've played merry cob with maritime authorisation rules, though for the most part, jurisdictions et al are correctly observed. I'm not Tom Clancy. Also, I wrote this to so much techno, I might have given myself an arrhythmia.
Summary: South Wales had everything. Clear skies. Gentle surf. Warm water. People flocked there every summer. No wait, they didn't. That doesn't really matter. It was the perfect feeding ground anyway.

PREVIOUSLY, ON TORCHWOOD: Part One

OFF THE COAST OF WALES, SUMMER TIME: )
amand_r: (torchwood/ianto is crushing)
Title: Leviathan 1/3
Author: [livejournal.com profile] amand_r
Prompt: Jaws
Characters: Jack, Gwen, Ianto, random OCs
Rating: R for violence
Wordcount: 24,700
Spoilers: You don't have to have seen Jaws. But you should. You really should. All canon through season two of Torchwood is assumed.
Disclaimer: I do not have any rights over Jaws and/or Torchwood, nor can or do I make any money off any fictive enterprises that I might undertake with them. All I have are a handful of Skittles that are all warm in my pocket. Sue me and taste the linty rainbow, people.
Author's Notes: Read it before you go swimming. In Wales. Where it's cold.
Real Author's Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] misswinterhill and [livejournal.com profile] joanwilder for the beta goodness. And to the mods, for patience. [livejournal.com profile] alba17, you're beyond deification. Also, I might've played merry cob with maritime authorisation rules, though for the most part, jurisdictions et al are correctly observed. I'm not Tom Clancy. Also, I wrote this to so much techno, I might have given myself an arrhythmia.
Summary: South Wales had everything. Clear skies. Gentle surf. Warm water. People flocked there every summer. No wait, they didn't. That doesn't really matter. It was the perfect feeding ground anyway.

OFF THE COAST OF WALES, SUMMER TIME: )
amand_r: (torchwood/ianto will fuck your shit up)
Title: Signed+Sealed+Delivered=Toujours
Author: [livejournal.com profile] amand_r
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Team
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 8,800 +/-
Author's Notes: for Quelle Surprise, [livejournal.com profile] kel_reiley on her birfday. She told me one of her bulletproof kinks is…well, is this. Happy birfin' day, bb. Sorry it's late.
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox
Summary: "When I was under the influence I wrote everyone letters," Ianto said quickly, eyes pinging from Owen's hand to Jack's face. "Letters which you posted."

Signed+Sealed+Delivered=Toujours )
amand_r: (crimmas/jack wearing santa)
There was some hesitancy and debate about whether or not non participants were allowed to review the fic over there. OMG PLEASE DO SO. We won't be replying until after we've de-anoned, so don't get upset if we seem rude.

Anyway, here's a list of all the fic so far. I put the characters in the fics, and left out all the pairings. Deal.

ANON wrote The War at Home for [livejournal.com profile] amand_r (Jack. Gwen, Ianto, Rhys)
ANON wrote All The Best Stories Start With A Death for [livejournal.com profile] cruentum (Ianto, Jack)
ANON wrote Doctor's Orders for [livejournal.com profile] used_songs (Owen, Ianto, Tosh, Jack)
ANON wrote The Better Things for [livejournal.com profile] nancybrown (Ianto, Lois Habiba)
ANON wrote In This Time for [livejournal.com profile] electro_club (Andy, Ianto)
ANON wrote Great Balls Afire for [livejournal.com profile] blue_fjords (Jack, Rhys, Gwen, Ianto, Andy)
ANON wrote Nine Tenths of the Law for [livejournal.com profile] phaetonschariot (Jack, Ianto)
ANON wrote Cast no shadow for [livejournal.com profile] kel_reiley (Rhiannon, Jack)
ANON wrote We All Have to Start Somewhere for [livejournal.com profile] solsticezero (Gwen, Ianto)
ANON wrote hotaru no hikari (the light of fireflies) for [livejournal.com profile] xtricks (Tosh, Jack, early team)
ANON wrote Hearts (hand-made): 1.50 quid a piece for [livejournal.com profile] lionessvalenti (Ianto, Lisa, Jack, team)
ANON wrote Mind Your Language for [livejournal.com profile] lawsontl (Jack, Ianto, Gwen)

MWAH. GO READ AND REVIEW. NOT ONE OF THESE FICS IS BAD.

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